What is wrong with Me??

[LuciaSeia]

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 days ago...actually is was considered a "break" of maybe 3-6 years until after we had gotten our lives together..and then maybe getting hitched. Anyway, I used to feel like I could never like, let alone love another man as much as him and it was a possibility of me to stay single for years. The same night we decided to take the break (I was a mess), my friend took me out and I happened to run into some people I went to highschool with (i'm 22 and I just moved back into the area) and bumped into my highschool crush. We talked all night, he told me he liked me back then but was too shy, etc, etc...so he calls me the next day and we talk...I have butterflies, and I feel like I'm 16 again. I think I really like this guy and we seem to have alot in common.

My problem is I'm not sure why I have these feeling of a crush for him arising again (he seems very interested in me), but the feeling for my, ex now has seemed to have dissappeared or just buried away. Can someone you thought you were incredibly in love with be that easy to forget the day you break up with them? was it love I felt? Am I letting my crush pursue me and, liking it because this is what they call a rebound?

[Amethyst]

If you feel like you are pretty much over your ex, then it's a given that what you had with him wasn't love. Nothing wrong with that, however, since you are no longer dating him.

 

Meanwhile, I don't understand why you are so worried about having feelings for this other guy...why do you think it's wrong? It's not like you're cheating on your ex, because the two of you have already split. (In truth, "breaks" generally don't work...usually a "break" is a euphemism for an official break-up.) If you truly loved each other, you wouldn't need a 3 - 6 year break to get your lives together -- you'd simply get your lives together WHILE you were going out.

 

It's also not like these "butterfly" feelings came out of the blue; you've had them before. When we put someone out of our life, we can sometimes forget how we felt about them; but, it's nothing uncommon for those feelings to resurface when we see them again.

 

You don't need to analyze everything so much. Stop worrying about WHY you feel this way and what's "wrong" with you (because there is NOTHING wrong with you), and just go for it.

[Yorkrose23]

Go out-have fun- you are on a break- I see no reason not to date this guy.

[LuciaSeia]

Thanks I am very excited...he has alot in common with me and I can't wait to get to know him better. A friend asked me if I was going to tell my ex about me seeing a guy already...but I don't think that is a good idea. Does anybody think I should, just for the sake of letting him get on with his life knowing I already have? We both ended it with the hopes of being together again and probably not wanting to if we had been with other people. I dont know...should I just keep silent?

[Amethyst]

If the two of you specifically agreed not to see anyone else, then you need to tell him. Otherwise, it's really none of his business -- he is your *ex*, afterall.

[justagirl20f]

I agree... trust me, when the right girl comes along for him he will move on, regardless of whether or not you have. He did initiate the break, right?

 

I dont wanna make you feel bad, and I hope it doesnt as some people are just not compatible. Personally I wouldn't do a break at all, especially one that long. If he wasn't sure he loved me, and he needed to be away from me and cause me pain to figure it out, he didn't love me. Period.

 

So move on, knowing full well you deserve to!

[LuciaSeia]

I hope he will move on. Something tells me he still does care alot, and I moved away from him...so I am sure that had something to do with him not being able to cope with me gone (and needed to break himself off from me). Plus his own insecurities had alot to do with it too.

 

I am moving on...this highschool crush seems to grow more everyday. It's nice to feel like your 17 again . Thanks for all your comments guys I really appreciate them!