second poem of mine "we made it go"

[anka]

This is the second poem I wrote in my life. Please let me know what you think

 

 

 

 

WE MADE IT GO….

 

We let it go….

It was so painful

It felt like a dull knife

Slowly cutting up my soul

And blood all black from anger, frustration and disappointment

Dripping from everywhere

From eyes and heart and ceiling

Coming down the walls

And drowning me

I cannot breath, I cannot scream

And move

Everything is scary and dark

And there is no single ray of light

Coming into the room

Will it ever stop?

Will I ever open my eyes again

And see the sun?

Will I ever move, or dance

Or laugh, or walk, or talk, or breathe?

 

We had sunshine within our souls

We felt joy from every touch,

From every kiss, from every word

But we let it go…

We were blind, and deaf

We lied and sinned

We were selfish and unkind

We let it all be covered by the darkness of the world

Without a fight, without a scratch

Without a cut

It's lost, it's gone, it's never coming back

We changed, we grew

Apart and older

 

 

Now I can see the sun again

And move and breathe and talk

And even laugh

But it's all not the same

There were no rusty staples in my heart before

And now they're there squeezing tight

So tight so that old wounds are opened up from time to time

It really hurts,

And bleeds sometimes

Just like the dirty, stepped on

And with broken wings our love was bleeding

When it was forced to go away

We made it go…

[bilal72401]

wow, that was an amazing Poem, really good! very well done! i like it alot, keep writing!

[anka]

Thank you, bilal

 

 

Does anyone else have any opinions? Does it sound like a poem? I'm really inexperienced, any opinion is appreciated.

 

thanks

[anka]

I wrote this to my ex b/f on our 2 year anniversary, I'm not sure if it's a poem, I think it is. Please let me know what you think...

 

 

 

Thank G-d for our love...

 

If you ever looked at someone and tears came up to your eyes just because you wanted to express all the love and happiness you felt when you saw this person, but were unable to;

 

If you ever hugged someone and wished you could stay so close to each other forever, never let go, always feel this heartbeat next to yours, and hear both of you inhaling life in unison;

 

If you ever thought about how impossible life would be if the life or the death separates two of you, won't let you enjoy the gentle touch of hands, the look of those sky blue eyes, the smile worth millions of finest diamonds, and just the thought made you miserable, made your heart feel the sharp pain, and your mind realize that you will not be able to survive, to move on;

 

If you ever felt the world disappear and all its problems vanish in nowhere when you felt the soft touch of lips on your face;

 

If you ever knew that the day you've met this someone was given to you as a precious gift from G-d, and no matter what happens you will always be thankful for that day;

 

If you ever felt the same way about one special person, then it will be very easy to imagine how I feel about you, because this is exactly how I feel when I look at you, when I hug you, when I think of you, when I feel the touch of your soft lips on mine, when I thank G-d for our love...