My turn to ask...

[Kaia]

I'm in an awkward situation here. This guy asked me out on a date but at the time I was going through a breakup with my long-term ex (he didn't know about this when he asked) I didn't want a rebound relationship so i rejected him. We remained friends. I've been thinking a lot about him since then to the point that i think i want to ask him out.

 

So my questions are:

- how do i know if i'm not just treating him as a rebound? (i don't want to date him just as a substitute for my ex, or just so i can feel pampered)

- how do i know if i think i like him only because he asked me out before? (i don't get asked out often so it's very flattering, but i certainly haven't said yes to all the guys who have asked me out before)

- how do i ask him out now? what's the likelihood of him rejecting me since i said no to him before? ... or even better, would he ask me out again? (i doubt this, that's why i'm thinking of doing the asking myself )

 

I'm quite inexperienced in these matters, please help!

[Kaspa]

As a guy I know these general answers. No he will not ask you out again, so you will have to ask him. No he will not reject you, he will think uve beent hinking about him and woudl love to take you up on it. Ummm as far as not knowing if you like him or if it is rebound, all I can suggest is try it out. Maybe you like him because you are drawnt o him for sum reaosn, go out with him and see what it is. So take him up on his offe,r explore and have fun.

[jbutterfly2020]

I agree that you should ask him out. It seems like your intentions are not to hurt or use him so I say it isn't a rebound. A date will tell you if you like him as more than a friend or not.

 

Just tell him that you rejected him only because you were not at the point to start a new relationship. Let him know that you are ready to try now if he is still interested.

 

Hopefully it all works out for the best.

[Kaia]

Thanks for the replies.

Actually after i said no, he told me that he thought i'm interested in going out with him first. So that got me confused. I wonder if he would have asked me otherwise. And so now i'm wondering if i want to ask him out because he asked me too.

[rvr350]

It's okay... Don't think too much. Do what your gut instincts tell you to, if you feel comfortable around the guy, and you both have fun. Ask him out, make it very casual, and see where it goes. Just remember, you're in control of the situation. Hope it helped.