Dating is a race

[lonelynshy]

Isn't dating just a race? A race to try and find the 'trophy' (in my case, a girlfriend) before someone else does. Also, I would NOT want to be with someone more experienced than me (and I have no experience whatsoever so that makes it very hard). It's a no win situation.

I still wonder how so many young women get away with picking guys based on their looks (ie: should be tall, should have nice muscles, etc) but get so ballistic if we criticize their weight.

I've had enough of having to sell myself (and there's isn't much of anything there).

 

I don't like fat women. Fat women are not my type. Fat women will find a guy some day, don't worry. I just don't go for them. They don't satisfy my needs. They be really intelligent, loveable, maternal and kind but they're FAT. That's what matters in life. We're the most evolved species on this planet and we can think for ourselves. BUT, I don't want to date you if your BMI exceeds 24.

 

(No, I'm entirely kidding. I just want to show how we short guys feel when rejected because of our height. And our height isn't even under our control. I don't even get a chance to show off my virtues because my short stature precedes me like a bad odor)

[ticklebug]

Isn't dating just a race?

 

Of course not....part of your problem might be is that you think that way.

 

Dating and relationships are very personal things. It has nothing to do with anyone else except you finding happiness with another person.

 

The fact you think you are competing with every guy taller than you on the planet makes me wonder if it ends up you are trying TOO hard, and possibly turning someone you are interested in off. If you are trying to overcompensate for your height...could you be coming off to people as obnoxious?

 

I still wonder how so many young women get away with picking guys based on their looks (ie: should be tall, should have nice muscles, etc) but get so ballistic if we criticize their weight.

 

the same way guys get away with picking girls by their boobs, butt, haircolor...etc. It evens out. You talk about girls going balistic about criticizing their weight, but aren't you doing the same with your height issue? Everyone has certain qualities they find attractive.

 

Your height isn't your hinderance. Your lack of self confidence is. When you become comfortable with yourself, you will more than likely find it easier to find someone comfortable with you.

[lonelynshy]

It's not me who is criticizing my height, girls are doing so.

As for boobs, hair colour etc I definitely, honestly never choose women based on such criteria. So why should I get the short end of the stick?

 

I'm not projecting myself as a saint or anything. I have faults but at least I pride myself on being fair and kind. Is it too much to expect others(especially the opposite sex) to treat me fairly and kindly too?

[sisterlynch]

How tall are you?

[lonelynshy]

5'6". Most young women seem to have very stringent height standards and want a guy at least 5-6 inches taller. I think older women are more mature in their standards but I'm 20. (never have had a real g/f, btw).

[ticklebug]

so if you find the girls of your age are immature & shallow...then hold off on dating until you get to an age where there is a maturity factor...you don't HAVE to have a GF.

 

As for boobs, hair colour etc I definitely, honestly never choose women based on such criteria. So why should I get the short end of the stick?

 

Don't blame just the girls hun, the guys are being just as shallow and just because you don't choose a girl for those things...many of your male friends, do. It's your age that gives you "the stick".

 

5' 6" isn't that short - heck my best friend's husband is 5'2" and she is taller than he is.

 

Best thing to do, don't go out with the intention of trying to find someone...just be yourself and let someone find YOU.

[eviljedi]

I know a guy who is 23 and 5'4''. I always saw him with all these hot girls and I wondered how he did it, but after talking to him and seeing him talk to girls I realized. He has confidence, the x-factor! Its nothing to do with height! You need to be more confident and then girls will not think your height is an issue. When I first read your post I thought you were a dwarf because you talked a lot about being small, 5'6'' isn't very small. Your just using your height as an excuse for having low self esteem.

[sisterlynch]

If I were you I would worry more about things that you can control. How old you are and how tall you are -- those are things that you can't really change. So the more that you worry the lower you will feel about yourself and you will feel helpless and become depressed.

 

Look at yourself and think about what you can change. You can get contact lenses, you can work out and eat right and stay fit and healthy, you can go to college and get a degree.

 

As far as girls, you probably want a girl that is right about the same height as you, or an inch or two shorter. If you married a girl that is short, then the children will all be short too. Which is not that good for the guys like you said.

[POAS]

i've dated taller guys, shorter guys, fatter guys, and, well, myself (which means being lonely). hum. the fat guy was a bastard, the short guy was self-centered and had a big ego because he felt he needed to make up for his height, and the taller guy was an all-around sweety because he listened to his mother and has had a stupid life with evil foster parents. so, it's all in the personality for me, obviously it's not hard to pick buttmonkeys, but if you're just a pure sweety, a PURE sweety as in not faking it, then you're shiny.

[confuzedboy89]

like some ppl said....you just need to find a girl thats alittle more mature and will love you for who you are and not your height

[corvidae]

I don't think your height is what it stopping you getting a girlfriend. You're not a dwarf or anything. There are plenty of men your height you have relationships. I guy a was working with a few months ago was about 5'4'' and he had a very pretty wife of about the same height. Yes, women can be shallow as can men. In fact it's not REALLY shallowness as such. We all have things, physical attributes, that we find attractive. We don't control what these are. In order to be attracted to someone on a deeper level, you have to like numerous aspects of them, including the physical aspect. People are only really 'shallow' when they look at the physical aspect and nothing else. For many women being fat means that a lot of men won't find them physically attractive and won't want to be with them. This is no more or less shallow than finding someone physically attractive but not wanting to be with them because your personalities conflict. A person, afterall, is a whole complex entity. All or nothing. For a lot of women, height is important. This is not 'evil' of them or 'shallow', they just want someone they find physically attractive as well as whatever other criteria they have, and they are entitled to do so. I know it's tough. Us men are expected to be 'confident' even when we feel we have nothing to be confident about. "Confidence is sexy", people say, "get confident" they tell you!! Ha ha ha...just pop down the store and buy some. You know what you need? Luck. You need to meet someone you finds you attractive and that is willing to put some effort in.