please help...... i need some advice

[batista04]

last night i broke up with my girl, we have been together for 9 months, tomorrow it would have been 10, and well the reason she says she broke up with me was because she needs time alone to find who she is, to realize what she wants, and to know if she is IN-love with me, although she claims she does love me. and this all came after a small argument we had two nights ago, i didnt expect this, and it really just hurts me inside, ive known her all my life, and the relationship was great, and we had our fights buts we would try to work them out, then this came and it just killed me. I want to know what i should do, ive gotten advice to leave her alone, not call her at all, if she calls, talk to her, and try to avoid meetin up. Other ppl have told me to talk to her every once in a while, hang out, but let her have her time, i really have no clue what to do, i dont want to make it seem like im avoiding her because she was just another girl, and the breakup didnt mean much, but i dont want to make it seem like i want her back so bad, because then its gonna make her realize that she could keep a break simply because she knows ill be there. please help me out, im so lost in this relationship, i love the girl to death, but i have no clue on how to make her realize that, or atleast make her understand that what she didnt wasnt the best thing, thanks.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

I always believe and ever always believe, if this is love that i am giving, if love is as universal as can be, she will understands thats love so solely love that is!

Hope it helps

[rvr350]

I'm sorry you for what happened. It's gonna take time to heal, but the pain does go away. It's hard to tell what your ex-gf wants, so it's best to give it time, and see if you both still feel the same as before. If it's issues that you both can work on, then it's up to both of you to see if this relationship is worth the work. Hope it helped.

[Iceman26]

Dont contact her. She dumped you and said she needed time. Let her come back to you.

 

I am sorry this happened, but things will get better.

[batista04]

thanks alot for the posts, she called me a couple minutes ago, and well we talked for a while, i told her i loved her at the end of the conversation, and she stayed silent, i think that it was a mistake, regardless, i left it to her to call me back, hopefully things will work out, but still hurtin

[Iceman26]

Man I hate it when you say I love you to someone and they dont say anything back. Thats the worst!

 

Yeah let her call you, and dont say I love you to her. Shes the one putting you through all this, let her say it first.

[Armyguy3682003]

Let her be by herself. If she loves you and you had a great time together, she will hopefully realize that. I am going through the same thing right now. We broke up in October and it killed me. I am still in pain, more than 2 months ago. Dont try to see her, because it will make things worse. You can talk to her on the phone to let her know that you are still there for her, even as a friend. Dont tell her you love her, it doesn't help. You could also write a letter to her about your feelings, becasue she will be able to read it and not feel pressured as if you were right there telling her what you write in the letter. Hope that made sense. Anyways, my ex is seeing someone else and I had to find out myself. I still want her back and trying to lay low right now and eventually let her go and hopefully she will realize how much of a great guy I really am and come back. But I cant wait forever. So good luck.

[batista04]

last night, i went over her house, she wanted me to come over in the afternoon, and i surprised her, as i was headed over i told her i was hangin out with a couple of my friends so i wouldnt have seen her(she didnt expect me comin at all) and after i told her that she said bye but i noticed she began cryin, and it hurt alot hearin her cry, so when i showed up to her house, she was surprised and happy, but also said, this made it harder for her. We talked for a while, and came to the conclusion that i guess shes takin her time apart, but shes going to stay loyal and faithful, and if she really doesnt think its goin to work out she will call me to tell me, other than that, i laid down the rule that i wouldnt stay in contact with her considerin the fact that she wants time alone, that is she wants to see me or talk to me, she will give me a call. She is considerin seeing me on sunday, and i want to see her too, but i guess im leavin it all up to her, shes goin to the club tonite, and i got no objection because i feel that if shes goin to be loyal, she will tell me is somethin went down, in any case, that is when i would let her go for good. this mornin her sister in law called me and i told her to leave her the message that i care about her alot and that i still love her. Am i goin down the right path? i was thinkin about writin her a letter, and on tuesday, since she has school in the morning, i would go over her house and leave a dozen roses around her room, and the letter on her bed, and maybe, friday, leave a CD at her house. although she wants this time, she cant help call me, and i resist callin, but she does, i dont know what to say to this. my friend told me that if i really want her, i should fight to get her back? i want to do that, but not over do it, at the same time give her, her time to "think."

should i do what im planin to do?

thank u everyone!

[amanda22]

all i can say is give her the space she wants. at this moment she prob loves you the most she ever will, so just hope she misses you and wants you back. if you keep bothering her she will get annoyed and lose the love she has for you. let her call you first. dont jump at an invitation to see her, she may still be confused or just lonely, dont be too eager and easy she needs to be sure about what she wants. i am talking from experience, a my ex wanted space and i didnt give it to him. he still loved me and couldnt say no to me but soon he got suffocated because he never got the space he asked for. for 4 years we were friends with benefits, he never got back together with me even though i swore one day he would. i garantee if i gave him space when he asked for it, he would have come back and he agrees. now he found some amazing new girl and left me in the dust. even though we were cuddling only two weeks ago, he has been over me for a long time. please dont make the same mistakes i did. if only i would have let him have his space...

[FleX]

she called me a couple minutes ago, and well we talked for a while, i told her i loved her at the end of the conversation, and she stayed silent, i think that it was a mistake, regardless, i left it to her to call me back, hopefully things will work out, but still hurtin

 

Dude that seems like another form of begging... I hate to say it but when women hear that it makes you look weak and desperate. Save the I love you's for special occasions only. That three letter word is sacred and when u use it in this situation it has no effect on her. The woman's mind is made up. Cut off all contact and move on. Don't dwell or be bitter... improve yourself and make her come crawling back to you.

[batista04]

thanks everyone for the advice, and im following it, im pretty much not calling her, but eventhough she has said she needs time, she calls me everyday, i guess its cuz the whole deal in which we are goin out but we are not? as weird as it sounds, those are the "stipulations," we are not yet allowed to see other ppl but im givin her the space she needs, if she wants to call it off she will call me. With that said, she needs time? BUT like i said she calls me alot, now i promised myself i wouldnt tell her i lover her or miss her, and today it was goin well, she called me twice and i talked to her like a friend, but when she called me again she told me she missed me, so i had no alternative to let her know too, that i missed her, its so hard, shes like my best friend also so its even harder. I dont know, i think this its getting to complicated, SHE wants time, but she calls me everyday, and she doesnt want to take it back to full relationship mode, according to her, because she is overwhelmed, and needs time to herself, its not even me or the relationship? im confused, im not sure if i should not pick up the calls, or pick them up but stay even stronger to the friends game and even if she says somethin not reply? im not sure........

[ebola316]

Me and my ex have been broken up for 2 weeks. The first week, he called me every day, and told me the same thing. How much he missed me and everything.

 

This past week, he hasn't even called me at all. That's why I think it's better to not answer their calls until they figure out what they want to do.

 

Because then if they move on, or find someone else and the calls stop, you're dependant on these call, and you have to go through the horrible beginning faze all over again. It's like being double-dumped.

[Bibora]

Im in the 3rd week after breaking up, and i was desperate (and silly enough) to try to contact her... Before breaking up, i told her if that would ever happened, i would be the one not wanting to see her or talk to her... In the end, it is me trying to reach her, while she ignores me. Well at least i was.

It's time to save some little self-respect and move on. If she loves you and misses you, she will call you back. But don't wait for it. it's best for you to start already moving out, or else you will be always waiting. That's what im starting to do.

In my case, she doesn't exist anymore, or i'll drive myself crazy over it.

[FleX]

My friend I hate to say it but you've have already been dumped in her eyes. She just doesn't have the guts to tell you so.

 

SHE wants time, but she calls me everyday, and she doesnt want to take it back to full relationship mode

 

I have a hunch that she is looking for another person... in the meantime shes keeping you around for support and someone to lean on ot. Once she's moved on your out of the picture. You've been turned into "the friend" without knowing it. My advice is to end it now. If u need any further advice PM me.