I hate being shy. I'm starting to get mad!!

[Raptor]

This is sort of funny I'm shy and in the same breath I'm not. I have no problems talking to women in fact I do it pretty often. I sort of flirt with them in a subtle way and I get response back gentle contact, eye contact, all of that stuff. The problem I always have is when I go to ask them out or think about asking them out I get nervous. If you would see me first hand you would think he is not shy, and I'm not. Just asking women out gets me so nervous. Now I know someone is going to say just ask her out. I would like to know does anyone have any tips on overcoming this big problem? I have my eye on a girl that I like and I want to ask her out but I just never can work up the courage.

[rooophy]

This is an age old problem. I was like that too (and on occasion I am still). There is no secret recipe against shyness. You have to realise that asking a girl out is no big deal. Just jump off the cliff and do it. The best way to get accross your nervousness is to not repeat in your mind what you're gonna say. It's really like jumping off a cliff, the more you stand there waiting for your courage to build up the more you freak out and your legs wobble. In the end you fumble and it's a distater.

 

Catch them off guard, don't make it a long sentence or anything. Just go with something like "let's go out sometime, what's your phone number?". It's as simple as that. It's even better if you can relate the moment and the date you are setting up. Like you've been talking about Italy and you say "You know we should go to dinner sometime, I know this excellent Italian restaurant I know you'll love, what's your phone number?"

 

Jump off that cliff, it's a rush and you'll love it!

[Lilu]

Everybody gets shy sometimes. The one thing that can get you less worried about asking girls out, is if you don't think about it too much and 'JUST DO IT'. The more thought you put into it, the more nervous you get.

 

Hope a girl's opinion helps!

 

Lilu

[NinjaLink]

Well, first you need to see if the girl has a boyfriend or not. Otherwise, you will get told off if you just come up to her and say that. Once you find out that she is single then you can talk to her. The best to ask a girl out is to build up a conversation with her. It isn't hard to build up a conversation...just pretty much talk about anything. If she likes you alot then she wouldn't care about what you talk about to her. Then the next step is asking for her phone number when one of you has to leave. just be like...."I like talking to you, do you wanna talk on the phone sometime?" Most likely she will give you her number! eZ

[lawless]

I've never asked a guy out, but I think the best way to go about it is to be really casual about it & confident. Easier said than done, I guess. Just start talking with her, get in a convo. about something that interests you, perhaps near lunch time then say something like 'damn I'm getting hungry, why did I forget to eat breakfast today..do you want to come with me to __ i'm just going there now..' say it casually, and it won't even seem like a date!

 

The way my ex-bf asked me out was sorta like this. We were walking in the city, it was near 5:00 and he asked if I wanted to join him for dinner..it didn't even feel like a date because we were both really comfortable with each other. When you feel comfortable with a person you shouldn't be nervous, really..

[Raptor]

Yeah I do feel comfortable with her but I guess I'm afraid she will say no. I have come off a rather depressing streak of rejection. No one has ever said no to my face. But things have come up....one chick got drunk, and the other said she would go out with me but changed her mind? I'll have to give it a shot. The problem is she is only chirstmas help and might be leaving soon. I just hate fealing rushed.

[Double J]

First of all, calm down. It's normal to get shy around girls. The best way to deal with this is with practice. Next time you see a girl (even if you're not attracted) just approach her without thinking twice and tell her or ask her something - What time is it, etc. It'd be easier to do this with a girl in one of your classes that you've never met before, so you can inquire about an assignment or test. Keep doing this with girls you're not interested in, and once you decide to do it with a girl you like, you'll feel more comfortable.