has anyone bought those get your ex back books?

[sophi3]

I'm just curious if it's effective. I'm skeptic since it costs a lot of money. Has anyone tried it and was it a good investment?

[sadsadguy]

I wanted to, their huge commitments of "It worked for 99% of the people" really lured me. But I gave myself time, within a week I regained my rationality and I gave up that lame idea. Being a dumpee, I have understood that I have to work on myself, work on issues that led to breakup. You should rather buy books that teach you about relationships, human emotions etc in generic way, they could be helpful.

[elsenyor]

I'm just curious if it's effective. I'm skeptic since it costs a lot of money. Has anyone tried it and was it a good investment?

 

I tried looking for several producs like "text your ex back" and several others .... consensus is... don't do it waste of money.

 

most of the advice (the parts that work) found in those books will be advice thats given around here, yet here it's free.

 

in any case if your ex is going to come back they'll do it without you doing anything, no magical pill will bring them back.

[sophi3]

I wanted to, their huge commitments of "It worked for 99% of the people" really lured me. But I gave myself time, within a week I regained my rationality and I gave up that lame idea. Being a dumpee, I have understood that I have to work on myself, work on issues that led to breakup. You should rather buy books that teach you about relationships, human emotions etc in generic way, they could be helpful.

I have books on healing and Christian books about God's plan which I read when I'm bored.

 

Hi elsenyor. Some of them have videos also endorsing no contact. The other tips in the book just makes me so curious. I am just guessing they will teach you how to be indifferent if it doesn't work? Plot twist of it didn't work but you are now an attractive girl for a better guy

[Tanzi]

They are basically pages and pages and pages and pages of what not only amounts to common sense but which can be summed up in one simple sentence ... Act all needy and desperate and you will be even less attractive to your ex. Act as if you couldn't care less and you suddenly become more attractive to them.

 

There is nothing in these books that you won't hear on this forum. However the advice on here is REAL (not to mention free) meaning that no-one pretends that there is 99 or 100% guarantee to get your ex back. The only thing that can determine whether an ex comes back are the ex's themselves... because, no matter what strategy we might use to pull them back in, when someone says they are done .... they really are done ... and these books fail to focus on that.

 

Whatever you do, you should do so wirh healing in mind. If your ex catches wind that you are moving on it will either give them a kick up the proverbial or not. If they come back then fantabous. If not then, by the time you realise they aren't coming back, you would have made significant steps forward.

 

You really don't need to spend stupid amounts if money to tell you this.

[QWit]

heck no.. I hurt during a breakup, but not enough to buy stuff like that..

[sophi3]

Hi blue. Yeah I thought so too. Just curious if there was something special or extra in the book since it costs so much money and is not even available in bookstores. Some reasons for breakups are not black and white, the claimed success rate means their tips apply to all reasons of breakups. I'm happy for the ena family. People care about each other and give free advice to strangers

 

Hi qwit. I get you. Hurt and spend money for a chance of getting back or being hurt again.

[QWit]

Common sense is free.. Those books can't tell you anything that you don't already know.. Also, those success rates are LIES.. There is no book that could control how another person (your ex) should feel about you.. Those book can't control free will. If an ex wants to come back, they will on their own..

[Edmund Exley]

Nothing you can do will bring an ex back if they decided they don't want you back. That's the bottom line.

[Kendahke]

I'm just curious if it's effective. I'm skeptic since it costs a lot of money. Has anyone tried it and was it a good investment?

 

No. Basically, I don't want him back.

[Kendahke]

If your ex catches wind that you are moving on it will either give them a kick up the proverbial or not.

 

this is so true.

 

When I decided to make complete room in my psyche and heart for my new guy, it must have sent out a "disturbance in the force, Luke", because my ex, out of the blue, sent in a "hail mary" play where he wanted to take me to a spa and he asked me what my ring size was. I was so pissed off by the blatant manipulation that I wrote him and told him that I had met someone and was moving on and that I wished not to be contacted by him anymore; was blocking his phone calls, texts and emails and for him to stay with the woman he dumped me for and make it work since she went through all that trouble to get him and be faithful to her if it was even possible.

 

I purged my life of all of the ex's mementos-pictures, emails, videos, etc. because I want complete transparency with my new man.

[browneyedgirl36]

I've never used one of those books, but they ALL say the same things:

 

*Go No Contact for at least a month;

*Work on yourself (whatever that means -- LOL!)

^^I think the above means things like go to the gym/exercise, get out and do social activities, pursue hobbies/interests, etc. -- all common sense.

*After a specified amount of time (these books say anywhere from 30 to 90 days, from what I've heard), initiate contact with the ex; keep it "lighthearted," with no discussion of your former relationship. Be your "best self" -- the person he or she fell in love with to begin with. Be funny, charming, upbeat, and most of all NOT needy.

 

That's about it. $49.95 USD, please. (Just kidding, of course!)

 

The only "extra something" in these books that makes them cost so much is the GREED of the hack who's writing this stuff and selling it to unsuspecting people who are in pain and desperate to get their exes back.

 

As a few people above said, they deciding factor in whether or not an ex comes back is whether he or she wants to. This is something you can't predict, can't count on, and can't manipulate into happening (at least not with any lasting results). Your best bet is to just live your life in the best way possible so that you can be ready for whatever happens.

[Edmund Exley]

You're supposed to go on 2 dates too LOL.

[browneyedgirl36]

You're supposed to go on 2 dates too LOL.

 

Oops! I forgot that part. I guess I'd make a bad Get-Your-Ex-Back hack writer. Good thing I kept my day job!

 

(Take $5 off the price for my omission)

[laninaperdida]

They cost a lot of money?

Are you referring to a $25 self-help book?

I think yu'd be better served to get scientific texts o h7uman behaviour and what not

I read both

[browneyedgirl36]

They cost a lot of money?

Are you referring to a $25 self-help book?

I think yu'd be better served to get scientific texts o h7uman behaviour and what not

I read both

 

The ones offered online generally cost $30-50, from what posters who have posted on this site about them have said. They're usually download-able, e-book type things, too -- you're not even getting an actual physical "book" when you buy these.

 

I prefer books related to cognitive behavioral therapy, dynamics of relationships, communication, etc. as opposed to mainstream "self-help" books, though I admit I have read a few of those best-selling self help books and found that the vast majority of them are based on common sense and didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.

[laninaperdida]

I guess I don't see that as a lot of money to spend as far as interests go.

1/2 the time you can get them @ thrift stores for a few dollars.

But I agree!

Every now & then I flip my out uni texts to look something up, but I'm more into the scientific approach.

Alhoug, why men love bit.ches is priceless lol it is common sense but its a fun read

[sophi3]

When I decided to make complete room in my psyche and heart for my new guy, it must have sent out a "disturbance in the force, Luke"

Out of curiosity though, what made you realize that you dont want the old ex back?

 

The only "extra something" in these books that makes them cost so much is the GREED of the hack who's writing this stuff and selling it to unsuspecting people who are in pain and desperate to get their exes back.

 

As a few people above said, they deciding factor in whether or not an ex comes back is whether he or she wants to. This is something you can't predict, can't count on, and can't manipulate into happening (at least not with any lasting results).

In other words, it shouldve been packaged to a book on how to get over your ex?

[browneyedgirl36]

 

 

In other words, it shouldve been packaged to a book on how to get over your ex?

 

Yep. That's what ALL of those books technically should be about, because that's the essence of it -- moving on, moving forward, living your life, being your best self -- whether or not they come back.

 

All the advice you need is on this site and sites like Baggage Reclaim; when I found ENA, it was because I had searched for "getting over a breakup" on Google.

[browneyedgirl36]

I guess I don't see that as a lot of money to spend as far as interests go.

1/2 the time you can get them @ thrift stores for a few dollars.

But I agree!

Every now & then I flip my out uni texts to look something up, but I'm more into the scientific approach.

Alhoug, why men love bit.ches is priceless lol it is common sense but its a fun read

 

Not a lot of money in terms of interests -- I'd easily spend that much on a cookbook or on a book about one of my other hobbies. I would not, however, spend $50 on something promising me to get back someone I probably shouldn't have back in my life anyway (and, in some cases, someone I never should have been with to begin with!)

[Kendahke]

Out of curiosity though, what made you realize that you dont want the old ex back?

 

Mainly, my new guy declaring for me. I wanted transparency and a clean slate with him, so that meant nailing shut the door my ex used.

 

And, too, the ex being a manipulator and a whoremonger. I would never, ever in the future be able to know for certain that he is not chasing in behind other women. It is what I've know him to do for the 13 years we were together. He did a really good job of hiding the one he's with now until he butt dialed me on his way to her condo. I let him play with my feelings during the last 2 1/2 years because I was lonely, but the past 6 months, I started changing my mind on giving him that kind of entree into my life and intimacy. I'd been backing off of things and putting more effort into getting back out in the dating pool. I've been doing a bit of "toad stomping" on the online sites until I met the man I'm with now and once I did, it seems my ex felt a shift in the force and started going hard in the paint. He suddenly wanted to come down here and take me to a spa and then he asked me what my ring size was. That's when I lost it. Just nothing but a master manipulator and I'd realized I'd had enough. I wasn't going to deal falsely with my new guy by keeping tethered to the ex, so I chopped the ex's head off.

 

Once I met the new guy, I wanted nothing in my life that led back to the ex, so I purged everything of his out of my life. Thankfully, I'd already sent 99% of his cards back to him 3 years ago, so I didn't have that trash sitting around, but on my computer, I trashed all pictures and emails: everything; and I blocked him on all electronic media, with the exception of LinkedIn--there is no blocking feature on there. He's been creeping on my page, ugh!, but I do not acknowledge him.