Can we work this out?

[Lulu101]

My ex ended things with me 5 weeks ago. We were together over 10 years. His reasons were that I didn't show him love or appreciation like he did for me and that he feels my family don't respect him. We have broken up in the past but always reconciled after a few weeks. This time he has been gone over a month, is living with his mother and says he doesn't see a future for us.

 

However he contacts me regularly, tells me he is lonely, is drinking to try cope with the break up, is missing me, wants us to be friends etc. when he is drunk he calls me and wants to know what I am doing a lot of the time.

 

He is really Angry at me for how things are, he blames me for everything, and seems very concerned about whether I am going to move on or not.

 

This morning, Christmas Day, he text me Merry Christmas with a photo of himself and an empty pillow beside him saying 'this was your spot'.

 

I want us to try fix things so badly. Our issues were not worth ending a ten year relationship. Do you think he is open to a reconciliation too? Or is he just keeping in touch to make things easier for himself?

 

I need to know whether to try forget him and move on or wait for him to change his mind?

 

Any advice?

 

Lulu

[NewlySingle75]

Lulu.

 

First of all, Merry Christmas! After reading your situation, this is a tricky one. I think you need to find out why he feels you didn't show him enough affection. I'm actually going through the same thing right now, my gf just broke up with me last Thursday and I realized I wasn't giving her as much affection and attention as I should have (honestly, it was because I was scared of getting hurt and scared that coming on "too strong" might turn her off, you get the picture.) Anyway, I'm going to write a letter to my ex in a couple weeks and tell her exactly how I feel about her. It's something I feel is the right thing in my heaert and if she still doesn't want to be with me, at least I will know I did everything I could and I won't have any regrets for that. But I feel in my heart when she sees how much I really do love her and care for her, things will turn around. But I'm giving her a little time to miss me, if that makes sense. Yes it's hard not to contact her today and wish her a Merry Christmas, but I think NC and then surprising her with that letter in a couple weeks will be the best solution.

 

The reason I say that to you is that may be something you may want to do. Write him a letter (not a text, not an email, or even over the phone) and tell him how you feel about him. I wouldn't mention getting back together or anything like that, just tell him how you feel about him and end the letter with "Thank you for allowing me to tell you how I really feel." and end it at that. It may work, it may not.....but if it makes you feel better and it can give you a "peace" of knowing you did everything you could to save the relationship, then it's worth it in my opinion.

 

Just a suggestion. Hope it all works out. We're all in this together and no matter how it goes, it is comforting knowing things will eventually work out for the best.

 

NewlySingle

[Romeo November]

Move on and start no contact. If you guys keep talking and end up getting back together, it will only get worse.