Should I greet him?

[notifyd]

So I'm trying to do NC because I'm having a hard time coping if I talk to him, AND also because I want to give him space and time to think. When we split he let me know that he just wanted time to think and sort things out, and that he still loves me a lot. Our relationship was toxic and he said that this is for the best, for NOW.

 

Honestly, I don't know if he's moving on without me or if he's serious about just wanting to sort out his thoughts. I've done it before and asked for space to think, and he had given it to me. Now after a year or so he's asking for the same thing and I'm unsure of how to take it. My friends told me to go NC so that he knows how it feels to be without me, and that if he misses me and realizes that he can't be without me, then things will work out.

 

Anyway, it is his birthday this weekend and I don't know if I should text him or if it would just mess things up as well. All I really want to text is a 'happy birthday' to let him know that I still care, at the same time giving him the space he wants. But some sites say that this will mess everything up... but I really don't want him to think that I'm angry and bitter, because if it were my birthday I would be really upset if someone who had been with me for 4 years completely ignored my birthday.

 

Let me know what you guys think. Just note that I AM healing but I do want him back, I just don't want to mess things up and seem needy. I want him to have his space to figure out what he really wants.

[Fushigidane]

You need to do what's in you heart, but I'd say don't go too deeply. If what you really want to do is send a happy birthday text I think it should be just a little "happy b-day hope it's great" and leave it at that.

It's not unusual to send a birthday message but if you start gushing he might feel smothered or uncomfortable.

[SooSad33]

I would send him the b-day wish. shows you do still care.

mine made a comment about that cpl weeks ago. i didnt email him.. nothing,.

he's the one who walked away- duh...

 

so i said.. i didnt want to bother you (well he was NOT spending it with me). he said i can msg him anytime.

anyways.. i did have a card for him.. and gave him that... so it shows i did remember.

(stoopid thing is.. is he didnt send me a text on my b-day- but did call a day or 2 later.. fps.)

[sharky988]

He'll understand that you're just giving him space. Don't send any message, it'll seem clingy and it'll mess up your healing.

 

He KNOWS how you feel and that you want to be together. Not sending a message isn't going to make or break his decision on whether to break up or not.