Does she still like me?

[imabouthat]

Hi,

I'm new to the forum. I've looked aruond a bit and don't see nythng about my situation so here goes.

 

I broke with my ex about 4 mos ago & started seein someone else. I know it hurt her an im lucky she still talks to me. I've been trying to have a relatinship with this other gurl but we are on again, off again, ect...

 

And still be friends with the ex who i still care about alot. I know I ignored her to keep her from thinkin we would get back together. Still, I don't want to lose her as a friend but stayin friends is so aukwerd for both of us.

 

Thing is I really like her but she has changed. She used to be so nice n sweet & now, she has started acting like a beep. She has started ignorin me, looks right thru me adn giving me fake smiles when she does look at me. I told her she looked good the other night & she just ignored me. She told me she loved me when we were together. I can't even tell if she likes me now.

 

I can't tell if she's sad or mad. definitly feisty-no downright snotty. Does anybody know whaz up with this?

[lovelostlady]

well, you broke up with her, and started dating someone else soon after. she's probably still pretty pissed at you. that would be my best guess.

[ticklebug]

I can tell you exactly why she is acting that way...

 

she felt, that by you continuing to be "friends" with her that you were possibly still interested in her...if you made any comments to her about how your new relationship is on again off again...that made it worse...

 

now she has figured out all you really want is to just be friends and she isn't happy about it.

 

Basically, she feels you led her on (even though you didn't)

 

It's almost impossible to be friends with someone you dated...just let the friendship fade...it isn't worth it.

[lovelostlady]

why did you break up with her?

[rangergurl2]

Have a similar situation with my ex who broke up with me. At first i was nice, trying to be his friend and such, thinking it would work out in the end. Then I tried no contact, which worked for a bit, but i had to ignore him and act like your ex is acting. Then I got angry. I felt like he betrayed me by breaking up with me. So I took his numbers out of my phone and such, and the only way to get over him was to pretend like he wasn't there.

 

This might be her trying to say I'm trying to get over you. Or it could be her trying to make you feel bad (I wanted him to feel as bad as he made me feel for a while, but have gotten over it now). It will take time for her to come to terms with what happened and this is just her response. Look up the stages of grief on google sometime and read about them. She is probably going through them and is on anger. Good luck, just keep your chin up.

[lady00]

You probably hurt her badly and by acting the way she does, she's protecting herself from being hurt even more. By being friends with you, she would have just gotten hurt repeatedly if she still liked you and you were with someone else. I'm not sure what exactly you're looking for? Do you want to get back with her of just be friends? If you want her back, you need to regain her trust slowly by calling/showing interest in a non-threatening way. I'm not saying it'll work out, but you might have a shot. If you just want to be friends...realize that she might not want that...especially if she still likes you.

[ebola316]

you can't be friends with someone you hurt. Maybe years down the road, when she has had a chance to move on with her life. If you don't want her back as a girlfriend, then just leave her alone and let her heal.

[Sugarbabe]

I think that only reason she is acting the way that she is because she still cares for you alot, but she sees and knows that you have moved on, and she doesn't want you to know that, so by begin b*tchy or snotty or whatever, then maybe hse's hoping you will be convienced that hse's over you but she's really not.

 

It is possible of begin with friends with someone that you've dated in the past. Yeah it's hard at first to be able to have communication with them, And sometimes you really can't get along with them. I have a friend right now that I dated once before. He's like a really really close friend too be we hang out, talk almost every day and see each other quite a bit, its starting to come a little more than friends feelings for each other are coming back, but its possible to be friends with somone.

[imabouthat]

why did you break up with her?

 

Hard to explain but at first she was a challenge, hard to get and off limits. We were friends for a few years first. Then after i got wit her she became way too available. She wuold do nything for me. I told her from the start I wasn't interested in a relationship. She was very convenient and ok being a fb, but too nice. no longer a challenge, I got bored and loss interest. I had to break it off since I didn't have the same feelings for her as she did for me. Still, she has been a really good friend and I don't want to loose her. That's why I still lead her on and flirt with her.

 

Then theres this other gurl. At first she was everything i cuold want in a relatinship. She's pretty, nice, fun, lots of money, nice home, new car. then we started to not get along so well. on again off again. I dont know if we will work out. To be honest when we are fighting is when i lead my friend on & then ignore her kinda as a loyalty to my gurl friend, you know tryin to be good.

 

My friend's new dameanor has sparked my interest once again and if I found myself alone with her i dont think i could stop myself from getting intimate with her.

[onetallulah]

For a man 42 years of age you still have a lot of growing up to do. I'm sorry to say it so bluntly, but maybe someone has to. People's feelings are precious and valuable--whatever you do, do not play games with her. Granted, she might not be any better by ignoring you, but at least she's not stringing you along. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you don't understand a true loving relationship--especially if you would cheat with your ex on your current girlfriend. It's people like you that give relationships a bad rep.

[lady00]

I think from reading your most recent post that you really ought to leave your ex alone. You're not being a friend to her...you're leading her on and toying with her. How would you like it if someone you cared about did that to you? You need to start thinking about other people's feelings, otherwise you definitely don't deserve a gf.

[atlas]

You seem to be getting negative comments here because most of us have been in the position of your girlfriend (or something near it) and your post, at least, somewhat seems, to make you out to have dumped her and picked someone up without even blinking. At any rate, I don't know you or the situation so I can't comment but I can tell you that my ex broke up with me, saying she wanted to be friends and supportive, and has done nothing to indicate that this is the truth. When one is an a relationship a certain amount of trust is grown. My ex is, also, ignoring me and I would, given enough of being ignored, respond in the same way should she later want to try to be friends. It may be that your ex actually expected you to be friends and having ignored her you have lost a great deal of her respect. In answer to your question, however, I would say that there is only one sure fire way to know if she still likes you...ask her. If she does, leave it alone.

Good luck

[imabouthat]

hey all,

 

What kinda guy do you think i am? i might flirt wiht my female friends, but i wouldn't full on cheat when i'm in a relationship. so, relax...that's why i broke up with my gf two days ago. i don't know if my friend can get past the hurt i put her thru. i just no i still care about her. i guess i'm just not relatinship material.

[atlas]

I'm not critizing you for you actions, for I can, truley, understand the reasons for putting space, initially, between the ex and yourself at first. I am simply trying to offer a possible reason as to why she may be upset (aside from the break up).

I think if you just give her some time and some space, allowing her to see that you are, or can be, indeed, a good frnd she may come back to trusting you again.

I had a five year relationship with someone whom I broke up with and it took us a good 6 months to a year to come back together as frnds. The romantic feelings are gone but we are great frnds.

Good luck