Need help on telling her

[lost_101]

Ok, about a month ago me and my friend were hanging out at this carnival our city has every Halloween and we met these two girls. Anyway I got one of there numbers and have been talking to her for a couple weeks now over the phone. My friend kinda forget about her and never got her phone number for her. Anyway she used to like me, but now only as a friend after her and her boyfriend got back together. And now my friend also unexpectdly met her walking her around and got her phone number. I need to tell her how I feel, but not overload her. I don't really want to ask her out per say, but tell her how I feel (I love her). I'm going to tell her over the phone, but I can' t think of like a romantic way like a poem or something that rhymes. Any suggestions or question please post-thanks

[DropToZero]

Hmm....I hate to break this, but Im going to have to put a post up about this sooner or later. Before you even think about telling this girl your feelings....you need to read all the posts you can where 'guys telling girls that they like them, or are in love with them'....and how should they do it? You should....unless they are THAT great of friends, notice a pattern of 'I told her how I felt, and now she is avoiding me...or told me not to say it again'..... Honestly, you should not tell her, if she has a b/f, she's not gonna change her mind b/c of what you say.

 

You see, Ive begun to learn things about girls pretty quickly once I hit college...and one of them, is that 'girls dont care how you feel about them'....they only care what 'they FEEL'.... If you think about it honestly, if one of your friends that was a girl, that you thought of nothing more than a friend, came up to you and said she was in love with you.....what would you do? Guys and girls have huge differences in this perspective of 'telling how you feel'....Im not tryin to be mean, b/c Im sure its driving you crazy and you want to get it out, but I dont think its gonna turn out how you want it to...

[traz]

Unforunately, I don't think you should say anything either.

 

believe me, I've been in your position before, and I DO understand what you feel. It just feels like you HAVE to tell her, because if you don't you'll explode. It just slowly eats you inside...

 

In the past, I've been in a similar situation, and I decided to tell the girl I liked her despite her having a boyfriend...now I sincerely regret it, because while she responded positively, the fact that she had a boyfriend prevented anything from happening and it probably separated us more than had I not told her...

 

I know it's hard, but honestly the best thing to do is try and get over her

[lost_101]

I think I'll take your advice and not say anything about me liking her, which does sound best. I'm still gonna talk to her of course, because she still is my friend. I'm probably just gonna wait it out that way until her and her boyfriend break up in the next month and see what happens from there. oh and remember my friend I told you about who also just recently got her number too. Well he likes her and is going down a similar road. It will be interesting to see what happens.--- thanks for the advice and any more suggestions or questions please post!

[Double J]

Anyway she used to like me, but now only as a friend after her and her boyfriend got back together.

 

Please do not even bother. Why do you even consider investing your emotions on someone who isn't feeling the same? I know you really like her, I understand that, but you have to be strong and realize that she's into someone else. Humans do not decide who they want to be attracted to - it just happens.

 

The poster who said that girls don't care how you feel, but how they feel.. is totally right. Once a girl is emotionally into you, you've got her on lock. But if you invest your emotions, and she's not interested, 99% of the time you're not going to get anywhere with her. Don't take it personally. I'm sure there are other girls out there that will give you what you're looking for. This one just found it in someone else. Move on with your search.

[Mun]

Hi there,

Why would you tell someone how you feel about them, but not ask them out? Yes I saw what you wrote about her having a boyfriend... so I agree with everyone about not telling her how you feel about her. In fact, I think you should never tell a girl how you feel about her until you have dated her a bit.

 

Telling her up front is setting yourself up to fail. We like things slow, with a little bit of mystery. You give it all up at once and we won't have the fun of wondering if you really like us or what... and you will squash our interest. In case you haven't noticed we start liking a guy more when we don't know how he feels. This is when we start to notice how WE feel. Just like Double J said " we care how we feel about you" So keep us guessing as long as you can stand it... but show your interest by asking us out and flirting with us.

 

Read around the forum a bit ( the girl's posts) and you will see a trend. They are saying " I like this guy, he flirts with me but I don't know how he feels" and they are interested in the guy.

 

Good luck in the dating world.