o no!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nosoul]

hey i just wanna say thanks for reading this ok here it is my boyfriend of almost 3 months is goin to dump me if i dont call and dont hang around with him more and the reason i know this is because my b/f's best frind's girlfriend told me if i dont start callin him and hanging around wit him more he is goin to dump me and idont want that to happen but i can't call him cuz i am wikid shy and its hard for me to do it.But last night i called him and i m suppose to call him in1 hour and 45 mins. any way what do i do????

[Amore]

Your boyfriend shouldn't have to force you to use the phone if you don't like to. I'm shy as well and hate calling people on the phone, and my boyfriend has never forced me to do so. We prefer to keep in touch through instant messaging, so that may work for you and your boyfriend.

 

I think the problem here is security. Your boyfriend wants to make sure you love him and care for him, either by talking on the phone or seeing each other in person. He may be worried if you guys aren't in contact.

 

I don't think it's right that he had someone else tell you that you have to call him and see him more often. If he's your boyfriend, he should be able to talk to you and discuss this with you, not have someone else intervene on his behalf.

 

Reassure your boyfriend that you care for him and that you enjoy spending time with him. I hope everything goes well with you guys, and feel free to PM me anytime =)

[sayer7]

Part of a relationship IS to hang out with them and show them you care by talking with them and spending quality time with them. Another part is feeling secure in the relationship and feeling mutual trust and respect between both of you.

 

Be sure to spend time and have quality time with him and enjoy doing things with him like going to movies etc. Relationships develop over time and if he's already threatening to dump you because y'all don't spend much time together then I'm sure you're not feeling very secure in the relationship. And I'm sure it hurt to find out from a friend what he's planning to do. If he has a problem with the relationship, you should be the first one he should talk to about it- not a friend. Tell him next time he has an issue, then that you'd prefer to hear it from him and not through the grapevine because that's what people do (talk directly to someone) when they respect them.

 

Good communication is all tied into having a good relationship and trust and respect. It's not nice to gossip about your partner behind their back-especially about bad things like dumping them and breaking-up. Personally think those kind of things should be first tried to be dealt with in private rather than having the whole world know about it, and you the last one to find out.

 

Make a deal with him : If he'll stop gossiping about y'alls problems to everyone, then you'll hang out with him more-- otherwise I don't think that' was a very nice boyfriend thing to do to you and you might be better off without him if he DOES dump you.

[SomeGuy112]

Sayer I think you are blowing this waaaaaay out of proportion. What happened is not unnatural at all. He isn't disrespecting her in any way and he is NOT gossiping.

 

When was the last time you talked to him nosoul? When was the last time you hung out together? Has he asked you to hang out recently and you said no? Have you been returning his calls etc? What I see here is that he is feeling like you don't really like him or something or that you just don't want to be with him or whatever. It probably came up with his friend that you weren't paying much attention to him or something and he was worried about it and was confused about what to do? (perfectly natural even if he was intending to talk to you soon) or he had made up his mind that you don't like him and he was just talking to his friend and told him that unless something happens he will break up. Talking with best guy friends is perfectly normal and happens a lot depending on the situation and I don't see this as abnormal. My suggestion is to tell him what your friend said and express to him that you are sorry to hear it and that you really do love him but you are just shy. Or you can just try to do more and not let him know you know. Either way I think you should try to be less shy with him, after all, he is your boyfriend.

[sayer7]

It is NOT normal for a guy to say to his friends "I'm gonna dump her if she doesn't spend more time with me" if he hasn't even addressed the problem with her first. It's like, hello? Aren't you supposed to be telling her that first so she can actually DO something about it? So yea, it IS gossiping behind her back and it IS disrespectful.

 

Would YOU like to be the last one to find out there's a problem in the relationship and that the consequences of not DOING something about it is the break up of the relationship?

 

How can someone DO something about it if they don't know they have to DO something in the first place?

 

And who would you rather hear of the problem from first? Directly from the person you're involved with or from someone else? Knowing that someone else knows about your personal relationship issues can be really embarrassing.

 

In my book, that's disrespectful and I don't think I'm blowing things out of proportion. It's important to learn what helps make a relationship successful early... good communication and trust are vital. Without either of them you don't have a healthy, beneficial relationship. Period.

[arwen]

Hey nosoul,

 

I understand you are shy but you like your boyfriend enough to stay in a relationship. Very good that you called him yesterday, why don't you just call him and ask him to go for a drink later this week? He might be surprised (in a good way!) and you two can hang out more. Just go to a quiet place where you feel at ease or go to a place where there is some live music. Always a good place when you don't like talking all the time.

 

If the two of you are serious about each other you should just be honest about you being shy. If he cannot cope with that, he isn't worth all your worries.

 

Have fun and just call him!

 

Ilse.

[nosoul]

while the last time i was with him was yesterday and after his best friend's girlfriend told me that he would if i didnt i went to his house with two of my friends cause i cant lose him he has been the light of my life like when i lost my uant last month he was there for me. and like he made me less unshy like i dunno i just hate callin people like one part i am shy and another part is i get thoughts like waht if he isnt home or what if he's busy or what if this or wht if that u no? any way it might b getting better now.like i called him twice since that happened. and the reason why i was getting kinda distasnt and he thought i didnt like him any more was that i thought he didn't like me and he was gonna dump me like all my ex's had but i dunno i think it's better now.but can anyone help me to call him????