Im 16, he's 30 and wants a baby..........

[x10y1607306434]

About 8 months ago I met a much older man, and fell in love with him.About 2 months into the relationship, he expressed to me that he wanted to have a baby with me. Of course I knew he was crazy, but we proceeded to try. Is this normal for an older man to want a baby with me?

[Bella]

No its not, and I'd suggest you put the brakes on immediately. Some men use the having a baby thing as a control thing with girls, and as soon as you're pregnant, or soon after the birth, he'll leave you high and dry. Not to mention, that at the age of 16, depending on what the age of consent laws are in your state, he's committing a crime by having sex with you, and could go to prison and be listed as a sex offender.

Every baby has a right to be born into a commited relationship. And you need to get your education so you are prepared to raise it yourself if you need to. Even if you were married, something could happen to your husband. Every woman should be capable of supporting herself and her family if the need arises.

Take care, and please use condoms. He's had sex with others before you, and that means you are now having sex with everyone of them, and every one they've slept with.

Protect yourself.

[will737]

You appear to be from Arizona, where sex with a 16 or 17 year old appears to be a class 6 felony.

Other than that, ditto every thing said above.

 

If he can't wait, it isn't love.

[amtheredoingthat]

I want to further emphasize EVERYTHING Bella wrote so well. You are young, and frankly your boyfriend for suggesting this is mentally even younger than you. And possibly mentally unstable. This is not even an age-gap issue; he just happens to be older than you. You obviously need to be the wiser.

[Baby bear]

Of course I knew he was crazy, but we proceeded to try.

 

by proceeding to try, does this mean you proceeded to continue the relationship, or tried to get pregnant?

 

Please clarify!

~Baby bear~

[katelyn1932]

your to young to get pregnant...you have your whole life to have babies i'm in almost the same situation your in i'm 15 and my lover is 37, but we dont have sex..considering its illigal. So come jump in my boat and we can talk till i'm 18

[Kobra351w]

i smell a pedophile

[Aura Seeker]

I am in an age gap relationship, but his mentality is that of a developed man. You are very young, and it may be flattering to have his attentions.....I have to say, that if there was ever a 30 year old man pursuing my daughter at the age of 16, he wouldn't have been safe from me. I would have caused big trouble in his life, any way that I could have. I know as an adult that he would have been manipulating her (because that is easy to do with young and impressionable people) and as a mother, it is my job to protect her from preditors.

 

Once she reaches a certain age, there is nothing I can do but let go and let her make her own way in life, her own mistakes and victories......but when she is still a child, that is my job.

 

What DOES your mother have to say about this? My daughter is 19 and just had a baby, and she is having a very hard time coping. Even if you are an aged adult with financial security and loads of emotional support......it is still a very stressful thing to try and cope with the onslaught of endless demands a baby will give you. Please, please don't entertain the idea of a baby just yet!

 

AS

[Ingrid]

Personally, I am not really against age gap relationships. However, here there is a problem : he is pushing you into a situation that will have very serious consequences for you. If you have a child, you are undertaking an 18 year obligation towards a human being who will need all your support. Will you be able, just economically to provide for this child? Moreover, money is not enough, are you sufficiently balanced and strong to be a mother? What kind of life do you want for the baby?

 

He might want a baby because he is scared to lose you and he thinks this is a way to tie you down. If this is the case, he is being manipulative and you should run away from him.

 

Be very careful. This man is irresponsible towards the child and towards you : you have the right to choose your path in life, he does not have the right to impose such an obligation on you.

 

Take care!

[The Morrigan]

Ok honey, NOBODY needs to start trying to have a baby months into a relationship. Children should be born into a stable family unit, stable emotionally and financially, to two committed parents. Regardless of your maturity, you're still developing in many ways, you're still an adolescent, and have more growing to do. He needs to respect that. If he really loves you and wants to raise children with you, waiting a couple of years until you're older and the two of you have grown together in your relationship should be no hardship for him. Right now this is not only illegal, it's thoughtless, and unrealistic of him.

 

If he can't back off until you're older, he doesn't love you enough, plain and simple. If he says if you love him, you'll try, tell him if he loves YOU, he'll be willing to wait for you, the cost of him wanting someone who is so much younger is patience. And if he really loves you, this will be no heavy price.

 

Do not get talked into something you think is "crazy" for anyone, this is YOUR life, and it has to be your priority to make sure you don't allow anyone to mess it up.