Is it crazy to feel this.. Scared. But euphoric.

[Future]

Hello,

 

A lot of sad threads here, even I participated in my past with my negative experiences. But today am not..

 

I've been single for over 2 years now. I've had my share of dates, fbuddies, one night stands and other craziness. I've been hurt several times, each time has been as hard but less time took for recovery.

 

Right when I decided to quit getting feelings, to give it up until I finish my education and earn some real money I got THE attention from several women (I'm a lesbian). I had several dates every week and even two long-term fbuddies. It is a big accomplishment for me as I come from a scary, abusive youth - which made me a very good loner, kind of depressed and very, very shy. I'm still shy sometimes, it still hunts me.

 

But when I decided to quit it all, which was several months ago.. I think I found someone who I can be with. She actually seem to really like me.. She was one of my buddies and then we started dating. It's been three months now. She's been asking me to be exclusive, which I kind of agreed to but am too scared to really, really agree. If you guys know what I mean.. I've been pulling and pushing her constantly. I'm very scared. Last time I saw her she even said that she was getting butterflies in her stomach because of me. Sex is great.. and for the first time in this three months I think I'm really starting to fall for her, if not already am in love.

 

I keep denying this though cus I'm scared. Everytime she tells me things like she likes me, or the butterfly thing - I keep getting doubts in my head. Does she REALLY mean it? Or is she playing with me? Last time she asked me to not play with her feelings. But how am I sure that she's not playing me? I'm so scared and it sucks that I need to be this scared. I keep getting these insecure thoughts. My question is.. how do I get rid of this? Right now I feel euphoric with her, I want to see her more often, I want to be with her and just keep talking to her. But I am scared to scare her off as.. it's always been like this in the past. Whenever I open up and give myself, they seem to break my heart.

 

Everything is great about her, except she doesn't seem to want to see me every week? Is she busy? I am too scared to keep asking her if I can see her again. I don't want to seem to pushy. But how do I find a good balance in not being pushy but still showing that I care? I find this so hard. I am scared that being my true self will be too pushy.

 

How do you guys do it? How often do you guys see each other?

This girl.. I can talk to her on the phone for hours without being bored. Just like listening to her voice. , I can't believe this is happening to me haha. I really can't. I'm feeling so in love. Help

[Ms Darcy]

I'll be honest, I spent very little time thinking about my bf before he become my bf. The best advice I can give is hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Don't get wrapped up emotionally, especially when you are not in a relationship yet. Slow down on the communication and maybe that will really help you not to develop too many expectations.

[Future]

I'll be honest, I spent very little time thinking about my bf before he become my bf. The best advice I can give is hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Don't get wrapped up emotionally, especially when you are not in a relationship yet. Slow down on the communication and maybe that will really help you not to develop too many expectations.

 

Thank you for the reply! You are right and kind of shot me back on earth. I really do sometimes get wrapped up too much emotionally. You're right, should calm down and relax ...