Am I Just Extremely Oblivious?

[rachopin77]

I apologize, this is fairly long.

 

So, I've always sort of assumed that most guys, by default, just aren't attracted to me at all except for guys I'm not at all interested in. I seem to always attract guys I would never be attracted to or who are creepy or make me uncomfortable, but now I'm wondering if I'm just extremely oblivious when it comes to normal guys, and they just give up after a while/get "Not interested" vibes from me even if I could be.

 

I know a guy on the track team somewhat, and he's seemed nice, but I've never thought he was actually interested in that way. Last year we got lunch a few times and little things like that, but none of it amounted to much. A few weeks ago, one of his friends came up to me and apologized for interrupting when the two of us were talking. Apparently, he had been upset that she had interrupted, and she told me he really liked me. Since I was so surprised, it got me thinking, and now I'm wondering if other guys have been hinting and I've just been too oblivious to pick up on it. I remember that guy telling me I had a nice smile and nice eyes before, and when he found out that I play the piano, he really wanted to show me his playing as well. He also was really apologetic once when we were supposed to be eating together, but a bunch of his teammates were there and we ended up eating with all of them. He's seeing someone now though, so it's sort of too late.

 

There's another guy that I know somewhat who runs track and cross country, and a while ago, during a break I decided to come back a few days early for some reason. He had been on campus because athletes don't leave over most breaks, and he invited me to watch the half time show of a soccer game because the cross country team was running a competitive mile and throwing t shirts into the crowd. He finished second, which makes me wonder if he was showing off, especially since he later told me that he could have been first but waited too long to speed up all the way. He also told me he was looking through the crowd to find me so he could throw me a shirt, but didn't see me. A while after that, he asked me to help him on an English paper. He's not from the U.S. and English isn't his first language, so I didn't think anything of it at the time. While I was helping him, I remember him telling me how smart I was and how great everything I suggested sounded, but once again, I didn't think much of it. When we took a break, he brought me over to the speed bag (We were in the student center, where they have study places next to the gym equipment) and was showing me how to do it. Now that I think about it, he might have been trying to show off again because he was really good at it. I ended up helping him with another paper at a later time, and he told me he really liked the way I smelled. Another time, he randomly messaged me on facebook to tell me how amazing my art was. I sometimes post my artwork on facebook, and I guess he must have seen some of it. Another time, he saw me and came over to give me a hug and told me I should try out for xc and track because I looked like I'd be good at it. I always just assumed he was just being nice, and he never specifically said anything about being interested in me. However, now I'm wondering if he was hinting and just eventually gave up. I also used to have a terrible habit of seeing people I knew and not actually saying hi to them, so maybe he thought I just didn't like him at all? (I don't do things like that anymore). But I always figure that guys, when they like a girl, will make it really obvious.

 

There's another incident where it seemed like the guy could have been hinting now that I think back on it, but this is already pretty long and I don't want to bore everyone. I'll keep this one brief. He was unusually upset when I didn't remember his name at first, and was reeeally making sure I got his number (He checked to see I had spelled his name right and gotten the number right after he told me). He invited me to sit and talk with him when he saw me pass by his dorm once, but I wasn't able to stay then because I was looking after a friend. He later texted me telling me I could have stayed if I wanted to. He randomly complimented my art, and blah blah blah a bunch of other stuff like that. It never amounted to anything aside from me saying hi to him occasionally when I would see him around.

 

Am I just really oblivious when it comes to guys and unconsciously pushing them away? How do I keep from being that way? I don't want to seem too over the top, but I don't want guys to just assume I'm not interested.

[alli]

Giving out compliments can be a way of expressing romantic interest in someone. It could also just an expression of platonic admiration. Regardless of the intent, what really matters to you is how you feel about them. If you would be interested in them you could reciprocate with compliments and suggest getting together. But if you think someone may or may not be interested in you and you have no interest in them there's really no reason to dig in to their motivation in throwing you compliments.

[puppyturtle]

Hey if it makes you feel any better I'm the exact same, what I've found is that if boys compliment you, spend heaps of time on you (like talking and trying to be close to you) especially without other people, then they may like you. If you really want to know then you can ask for second opinions from ur freinds ("hey do you think person x likes me?"), ask his friends or even ask him. If you're willing to take a leap you can always just ask them out or say you like them first and if they like you they'll probably just say it back.