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My problem must be the worst that any of you have heard of. I have a sister and I love her to death but the only problem I have is that I have been seeing her boyfriend for the past 6 months. I love him so much and it kills me to be this way. He is in a bad relationship with my sister and I feel that she does not deserve him. There is another problem also that he is older than I am but to me age is just a number. I wish there was something I can do to change this but I dont know what to do.

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Wow, that is pretty bad. You're young, so I suggest to you that you end this now. Men will be coming and going in your life, your sister will always be your sister. I sure the heck wouldnt want someone like that with my relative. If he does it to your sister, it's only a matter of time before he does it to you too.


This is probably not what you want to hear, but if you love your sister so dearly, you wouldn't do this to her.

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Your sister is your blood and will most likely be there forever, your boyfriend on the other hand, doubtful he will be no matter how much you love him or he says he loves you.


Point being don't play ball in your own house. Also another common saying...don't crap where you eat.



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Your loyalty should always be to your family. Dump this guy right now. It sounds like he is just using you since your sisiter and him are having troubles. It sounds like he is too old for you as well since you are trying to justify with age is just a number.



Think about how she feels and how you would feel if this was reversed.

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Pretty much everyone here is right, blood is forever...jbutterfly2020 even looks like he/she may have figured out what may actually be going on behind 'both' your backs. Don't forget....if he's doing this to your sister...he could do it to you. I know we can all sit here and tell you this is wrong in so many ways, despite your feelings, because it will be hard to change them.....but you should really think hard or bring it out in the open and find a way to apologize to your sister. Family will always be there for you.

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She doesn't deserve him.? You say you love your sister to death? Contracdiction all over the place. If he is the kind of guy that is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with his girlfriends sister and you are the kind of sister to cheat on your sister, whom you love so much, with her boyfriend... the only thing that can happen is you will lose. A sisiter and probably eventually him when he gets bored with you. The sister will always be the sister....family you know? Your only chance is to realize that even though you may have feelings for him, you have to cut out, ask for forgiveness from your sister and accept the consequenses that will come. I can guarantee you that the consequeses will only get larger as time goes on. He is one guy in the world. Reconsider your integrity, your loyalty and your love for your sister.

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You guys really are going to tell me all the logic that is possible behind this. I really wish I could just sit here and tell you everything that goes on. I do love my family and do feel that they will be there always. It's all my fault that this happened, I was the one that convinced him to do it. He never was going to do it in the first place. Also she treats him with no respect and does things to him that he does not deserve. He's 19 and my sister is 21. He lives alone and has a job and he has not asked my sis to move in with him because he knows that it won't work. Why doesn't he leave her, well because she so claims that she will end her life if he did. Which kills me everyday they fight, everyday she comes to me about this and that and then he calls me and tells me this and that. He is really falling behind at work. she really stresses him out. I think I am the only one he finds peace in. He wants to just leave us both alone and not deal with any of us but he is so sweet that he suffers for her sake and I don't know who elses. I may not make sense and people will hate me and I know I won't be with him forever but I feel that for the mean time I can enjoy this person. I must admit it's not about attraction either because he is not all that, it's his mind and kindness. When I first saw him I thought he was weird but after I really had the chance to know him he is a wonderful person.


I thank you for your advice and will take into consideration.....but not just yet I have to think it out and talk with him.

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Yes, not only is this a bad idea, its illegal and could get him into some serious trouble. You're 14 and he's 19. Might not seem like a big age difference in a few years, but right now it is.


Im 21 and if I was your sister I would be mentally scarred for life if I EVER found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with my 14 year old sister! Im sorry, but this is the naked truth.


Another thing you mentioned was that he didn't want to do it but he did. You didn't force him to do anything. You said you thought he was weird and he IS. It may seem cool to date older guys now, I did the same thing. But I look back on it now and am like "what the heck was wrong with them"???? I was only 13, 14...whatever my age was!


Please marinate on the things you're hearing on this board. It's wrong on so many different levels. PLEASE think about this seriously.

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Im 21 and if I was your sister I would be mentally scarred for life if I EVER found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with my 14 year old sister! Im sorry, but this is the naked truth.


Yes, it would do the same to me. He should know better though if you ask me. At 19, he's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.


Unfortunately, this "relationship" won't last my dear, that is something I can promise you.

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This is probably gonna sound completely off the mark to you, but you are seeing this guy as some kind of saint, and it sounds as if it's just a teenage crush that was reciprocated, which in no way is good.

The best thing you can do now is tell your sister what a moron this guy is, and hope that she doesnt disown you, because you are saying this guy suffers for your sister because he's such a nice guy, but would a nice guy do that to someone they love?

At the end of the day, you arn't seeing this properly because you are besotted with this guy which is god in your eyes, but still he hurts another person that you love.

all I can say is, that it WILL end in tears, and I hope you and your sister can make it up after they have been shed.

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he is a wonderful person.



Honey, if he is such a wonderful person why is he cheating on his girlfriend with her underage sister?


If she is able to manipulate him by telling him she is going to die if he leaves her--then he lacks strength of character--and do you really want a guy like that? Unfortunately I think you are very young to make a good judgement in this situation. I hate telling people that but in this case I think it applies.


This is such an ugly setup. Your sister trusts you and you are sneaking around behind her back. It is dishonest and disloyal. If you love yourself ( and you are a smart girl) you will tell that guy to fix his problems and leave you alone.


A guy with some integrity and morals would not put any girl he cares about in this situation.


Best of luck.

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