i love her more then anything....but she left me......

[zab]

Basically we just broke up, i had been with her for over 9 months and throughout our relationship she told me everyday that she loved me more then anything, she wanted to marry me, i was her strength etc. I felt exactly the same about her, im only 17 and she is 19. Her reason for breaking up with me is that we don't go together and i am immature which is total rubbish really because i have seen a lot during my life and have always had to be older then i am for other reasons which i dont care to go into. I love her with all my heart and soul and it is killing that she no longer wants to be with me when all i did was try with her. Yes at times i neglected her by not calling or something as we live in different towns which are quite far apart but she always said it was better as we got to know each other a lot better. I am angry at her as she said that she had been thinking about this for about 6 months yet she dragged our relationship on for 9 months before it all came out and in this time i just loved her more and more, she had become my best friend. All i want from her is a second chance and if she loved me as much as she used to say she did then she would give me the opportunity to try and work harder to make things work between us but she isn't. Also she has made these judgements on me but she hasn't spent enough time with me in person to make these judgements as we only saw each other on 12 occasions in 9 months where we spent the day together and everything was fine on these days but i didnt feel it was enough. Now she doesn't want me to call her or see her or anything and im really feeling depressed and lonely and don't know which way to turn, she honestly is the love of my life, all i wanted to do was make her happy and please her and as far as i knew i was. She didnt respect me enough to tell me her true feelings but then again i tried to avoid subjects like that because i knew it could turn into something like this so i usually laughed off the conversations as i didn't want to fight or argue or have one of us crying down the phone, i know now that this was wrong but she still won't give me another reason why,there has to be more behind this then her just feeling that i am immature. she also sas that we are from two different worlds, but which couple isn't? I know the things i have done were wrong and i promised to stop them and try harder but she doesn't want to know. She is my best friend and the love of my life. Everything was fine until about 2 weeks ago but then she changed it up on me, i have never been the type of guy to stay in a relationship, especially at my age, yes there may be others in my life as i am young but right now all i want is her or just another chance, she confuses me as sumtims she says yes theres a chance just give me space and then she says no there is no chance leave me alone or something stupid like that, im just confused n hurting badly. anybody got any tips because i dont know whether to move on or wait for her or what. I know there is no other guy involved in this...well i think i know as thats what she told me and i can usually tell when shes lying....anyways what do you think i should do?

 

Zab

[fallslikerain]

I just want to start by saying that i'm sorry your feeling this way, a lot of people unfortunetly do. I don't think anyone can make the decission for you whether to give up on it or try to rebuild your relationship. One thing you can do regardless is learn from the experience, so you can relate it to future relationships or this one if you both decide to continue it. Try to think back 6 months ago when she started to have doubts about the relationship. Perhaps there were changes that you missed? Signals? As for her, she's only 19 herself, and maintaining a long distance relationship with anyone is very hard regardless of age. Only seeing someone 12 times in the course of 9 months really isn't that much. Did you talk on the phone/im a lot? Perhaps she wanted a boyfriend who she could see more often? I know some people(myself included) don't feel that relationships over the phone really are the same as relationships in person. If 80% of what a person says is in their body langauge and voice infliction, if your only talking you the phone you miss out on the majority of that 80%, IM is even worse. in IM both parties could be talking to literally dozens of other people or doing work etc. Either way, neither of them are particularly great for bonding and intamacy. Would she happen to be a senior in high school? That can be an extremely stressfull point in life, especially if your looking at different colleges and trying to fill out applications.

[zab]

well no im in college and she is working full-time as we live in england so our educatinal system is different, she delayed going to university (like college in america) as she wanted to work and then she met me and we were going to go to university together, she lives in the capitol London and to be honest i dont like the place but for her i was going to go and live there for three years or so, i had so many plans for us, our anniversary was coming up and i had plans for that, my parents new about her and liked her but now they cant stand her for what she has done but im even arguing with them over it because of how much i love her. We talked on IM a bit but on the phone mostly, most of her friends and family new me and were shocked at her because both of us were not the type to be in a relationship for so long and i feel betrayed that she loved me so much and she seems to not even be bothered about this, i feel that she is but she doesnt show it which i would prefer to be honest, im just going to leave her alone for now though because she is getting angry at me for asking her to work this out, and all of my friends are seeing how depressed i am and keep talking to her about it which is making her even more angry with me but that isnt my fault.....i just wanted to see her more, i have changed so much for her, she did change a bit for me but then admitted she wil never change anymore. She does things i dont like as a boyfriend but theres always something like that in a relationship isnt there? im jst trying to move on for now and not think about her but its unbelievably hard and its killing me, i dont want to keep telling people about how im feeling because i feel that they will get annoyed with me aswel, im just lost to be honest, and at 17 with all these raging hormones its not helping lol and thanx for your concern fallslikerain it honestly helps when somebody else has been through this or something close to this and has dealt with it, it gives me a sense of hope but i cant get her off my mind, literally everything reminds me of her...i used to love that...now im starting to hate it