venquessa1607306442 Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 I told myself long before my exe left me, that she was the one. I dont take that lightly. It took me 5 years with her before I "knew". When she left me, it very nearly killed me... it did kill some of me, most survived, only scarred for life. From my other post you might know somethings that have been going on, but heres a recap. Was with her for 7 years and she dumped me out of the blue. She was ellusive and stuborn that it was over, even though I could see love for me and pain at losing me in her eyes. The words, "I dont think we weill ever get back together" ring in my mind. After 2 years with me phoning her on occasion, still dedicated to waiting this out. Don't get me wrong, I've got on with my life. I had a long distance relationship GF for just over a year, flew 7 times to see her, and her 5 to see me. That wasn't working and so I ended it not that long ago. During this time I had been in occasionaly contact with the exe, been out for drinks etc. etc. Still the flavour of the hour was "I dont think we will ever get back together." I got messed up when she was at a party, it hit me really hard and I was a mess all over again the next week. I decided no contact. 2 months of no contact and exe phones me for a favour, then asks me out for a drink, then another, then I returned and asked her out. At one point she was saying that she was coming to realise what we had was special and that we may never find it again. It got to the point where she was saying that we could try and take things slowly, spend time together, but... there might be a chance we could get back together, just as long as we take it slowly and not get freaked out. We had dinner on Friday night. Dinner was fine, but she was constantly off into the loo on the phone. At the end of dinner she fixed her makeup and told me she had paper work to do at home for work (11pm on a friday night after a bottle of wine and a meal???). However, the flavour had now returned to "I don't think we will ever get back together." Yet we were having a brilliant time, making each other smile and laugh. I could swear she still loves me very much, but is afriad of something. She even said, she should go off with random blokes for one nighters and just remain single. I told her I would leave it up to her, she can call me, I'll not call her, but.... She almost seemed to avert me from going to the pub after wards on my own to see if anyone I knew was there. When I got home I was convinced she had took me for a fool and she was actually off to the pub just didn't want me there. I tried phoning her once, no answer, I sent her a text and it took her ages to reply. (All signs she was in a noisy pub and couldn't hear the phone???) Or am paranoid. I asked her yesterday and she said, she just thought it was a bad idea of me to go to the pub alone. But also said, "I thought you were going to leave it until I phoned you, was that not the plan?" The problem is, I sent her an email on Friday night, at the end fo which I summed up by saying, "I bid you farewell until a time you can respect me and not take me for a fool." I asked her is she had got it, but she said, no. She would read it that night and reply, (sunday night). I have had no reply. The bottom line is, I will continue to try and win her back, losing one or two battles doesn't worry me, I've been through worse. What I am concerned about is that I can only trust her when she is in favour of us. I know this girl well, obviously. Sometimes, like recently when she seemed interested, she seemed totally trustable. However when she turned again, she immediately seemed untrustable and like she would make a fool of me. Am I just over thinking this? Is she likely to "use" me and treat me as a part-time B plan friend? Let me get close enough to trust her and then she turns cold on me again. My friend told me to bail out and give up, if I can't trust her, or if she makes me paranoid she is treating me like a fool, then it's not going to work out at all. I'm not convinced, I think she is just confused, but the wind is turning in my favour, just got to get by the nasty gusts like Friday night. Quote Link to comment
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