I'm two months shy of 20

[Fretless]

and I've decided that if I make it to 21 without ever having "found the right girl", i will seek out the services of a prostitute. Two possible things will happen after that: either itll make me lose interest in women forever, or itll bolster up my motivation to meet "real" women. Either way, I'll finally be able to move on in this area of my life.

[Jimbo10]

Maybe u should come to Canada (YEA ) and go to some clubs, maybe some bars. Prostitutes can have STD's, u dont want thoses, plus some Prostitutes are actually COPS, so don't bother.

 

Good luck, someone will want to do ya

[Fretless]

It so happens that I live in Toronto. Any suggestions for clubs?

[sole]

Ewwww. Have you forgotten prostitutes can carry disease? Do u want gonorrhea, syphillis, AIDS, or some other STD? Do yuo just want sex or do you want a relationship. If you want a relationship a prostitute will not fill that void but she'll probably scar you for life because it's no fun for her it's just a job. Relax! Some females are dying to get some action and if you become a little more aware you could probably spot them.

[Fretless]

[deleted]

[sole]

TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM MY 20TH BIRTHDAY.

 

Oops I was in the process of editing that out when you replied to that.

Friggin short term memory loss! ](*,)

[Fretless]

I think I'd rather run the risk of an STD or the night in jail, than have to put up with the current state of affairs much longer. When you're abnormal in this way, it makes you question whether you are a man at all or just half of one.

[Jimbo10]

Hey fretless, sry, im only 17, and i live in Vancouver, wish i could help on the club thing that i suggested, but Toronto is a huge party town late night from what i understand, im sure you and your budies can find something,

 

Have a good time, Good luck

[mtastic]

So the problem is that you're almost 20 and still a virgin? I don't think its as big a problem as you're making it out to be, but then I guesss its different for everyone. Personally, I'm a few monts past 22, and I'm still a virgin, and I won't say thats necesserily by choice. But I've stopped worrying about it as somethoing that needs to happen, and has to be a milestone by which I judge myself. Here's a ttopic from a while back along the same lines link removed I don't recommend reading it all, it was a discussion that went on for a very long tiome, and is consequently a very long thread, but there's good stuff in there.

 

I don't mean to criticize, but if thats you're concern, then you might just be blowing it out of proportion. It will happen eventually, you've just got to give it time to find the right girl.

 

hope that helped,

mtastic

[winkybear]

woah , that topic u gave was real long ... made it up only till 3rd page

 

hmm, to the original poster : u said that u would wanna seek prostitute services if u dun get anyone by the age of 21... so u r saying that by the age of 21, u dont look forward to getting any real girlfriends? Never seek their services because of the reasons that has been told. Work on why u arent with someone. I was real shy at one stage, but now im ok... coz i tried real hard in improving my social skills with the opposite sex. Dont feel sorry for yourself, instead find ways to overcome it.

 

I think being buddies with ur hand is way better than risking the chances of STD's or something

[ShySoul]

Just one question:

 

Do you really want your first time to be with someone you have no emotional connection with, don't even know, and considers it a business arrangement?

 

Sex is suppose to be about love. I know it's frustrating being almost 20 and never having that experience I'm almost 22 and haven't even had a date or a kiss. I'm shy too. I long for those experiences. But I'd rather wait for someone who really matters to me and cares about me than give myself away like that. You'll have those experiences, just be patient and believe in yourself.

[Fretless]

Sex is suppose to be about love.

 

It's supposed to be about whatever I want it to be about. I don't know what an "emotional connection" is, as I don't think I've ever had one with another human being. I would view visiting a prostitute as an experiment, just to see what happens.

[sole]

Sex is suppose to be about love.

 

It's supposed to be about whatever I want it to be about. I don't know what an "emotional connection" is, as I don't think I've ever had one with another human being. I would view visiting a prostitute as an experiment, just to see what happens.

 

It's hard to go through life without having some kind of emotional connection with someone. What about your mom and dad? Do you feel a connection with them? I don't mean sexual but just any loving caring connection?

If you want to experiment with someone, why not experiment with people you know (like hooking up)? At least you will have some knowledge of their sexual history.

[Fretless]

It's hard to go through life without having some kind of emotional connection with someone. What about your mom and dad? Do you feel a connection with them? I don't mean sexual but just any loving caring connection?

 

I never got on well with my parents. They have been extremely cruel to me, and I give as good as I get.

 

If you want to experiment with someone, why not experiment with people you know (like hooking up)? At least you will have some knowledge of their sexual history.

 

Well that would be nice, except I don't have any close female friends, or any friends whatsoever who are close enough for me to talk to about this. Is this even something friends are supposed to do? It seems bizarre.

[Pyralis]

Don't worry about it, man. I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin. I've never gone on a date or even had a first kiss yet and the way I see it it's not a huge deal. I mean, sure, you see all of this sexual content around you every day from friends, acquaintances, the media (that's a big one) and it does have the effect of making you feel as if you are inadequate as a man, or whatever. It's all in your head. My advice is just to not let it get to you. Just block it all out. I agree with everyone else's responses that you should not seek out the services of a prostitute. You DO NOT want an STD.

 

I intend on waiting for a very special lady to enter my life before I even consider loosing my virginity. I want my first time to be meaningful and special. Some people can easily separate love from sex, but I know that I'm not one of them. Not by a long shot. For me there has to be love before sex. No exception.

 

Try working on yourself first. Try to overcome your shyness and then concentrate on trying to meet that special someone. Get some professional help if you think that will help you. I know that's what I'm going to do. I suffer from depression and low self-confidence and extremely low self-esteem and I know that's what's keeping me from meeting that special someone. Once I defeat those demons then there will be nothing stopping me.

 

I know that this has been said on this forum many times, but you are still very young. Don't compare your "relationship/sexual history" to anyone else's. Everyone progresses at his or her own rate. I'm 23 years old and have a '0' count in almost all areas and it doesn't bother me as much as you might think. Just remember, don't compare. Concentrate on improving your own situation.

 

I hope this little rant of mine helps. lol

[Fretless]

It's one thing to hear from older virgins. I know men in their 20's, 30's and 40's who are virgins. But I have NEVER heard of anyone making it this far and then losing their virginity later. It's like there's a point of no return.

[ShySoul]

Fretless,

 

There are people who want years before having sex, but they do end up having it. They, like me, believe in waiting for the right person even if it takes ages to find her. I'm sure that if you took the time to look through this site you will find stories of people who wanted until their late 20's or early 30's before losing their virginity. You have plenty of time and shouldn't pressure yourself into doing something you may later regret.

 

You are entitled to you own opinions about sex. I'm just letting you know my opinion and the view that most people seem to have when this topic comes up. If you want to go to a prostitute, that's your choice. But the odds are you won't enjoy it like you should, the way you would if it was with someone you truly loved. I've read plenty of stories on this site about people who had sex because they thought it was what they were suppose to do, not because they loved the person. Most of them say they regret the choice and wish they had wanted.

 

Honestly, I don't think this is about sex. I think you have other issues you need to work out. You sound like you are lonely and sad and are looking at sex as a means of feeling loved. It's like an escape from your problems. I don't know if you have low confidence or if something happened to you in the past, but you sound depressed and should consider talking to someone, a counselor or just a really good friend.

[Fretless]

Thank you for your reply ShySoul. I was diagnosed with clinical depression 2 years ago, and have been receiving drugs and psychotherapy ever since, but it hasn't done any good. I've gotten worse, not better. In the last 2 years I've lost many friends and not gained any. I want SO BADLY to like my life, but when nobody else cares whether you live or die, its kind of hard. The only person who cares is my shrink, and I have to PAY HIM to care.