my friend is a HUGE MOMA'S BOY- i need HELP BADLY-please!!!!

[Jimbo10]

My good friend is a huge moma's boy. All my friends realize it (or at least the guys). His mom is like this evil lady, who shelters him from the world, and makes him think he is cooler than he is.

 

Last night, instead of going out with the boys, he wanted to stay home and watch a movie with his mom and dad. Now, their is nothing wrong with that, but last night was gunna be really fun! (and it was)

 

His mom is basically nuts, she wears the pants in the family. If im around him and his mom is their, she talks for him, and he doesnt care. The weirdts part is the way she doesnt trust him, like he is a bad kid. But here is the thing. He never says anything to her when she is being nasty, he never even tries to reason with her. He just takes all the crap, and it's making him a looser, wussy. He is so weak, physicaly and mentaly, he cries for stupid reasons still. It's beond what any girl would concider cute or anything.

 

His older brother is 20. He is a cool guy, clean off drugs, a good influnce, for the most part. Accept he is still whipped. At age 20, he still has to lock stuff up in his room in the basement. My friend can try and hide stuff, but his mom goes through his freaking sock droors looking for stuff she doesnt like. But my friend seems to think he will turn out like his bro. The facts are, he wont. He is so sheltered, so protected, i dont know how he'll move out of his house! He actaully thinks he is soo cool too. Sometimes i hafta bite my tonge to stop being a baby- HE STILL KISSES HIS MOM ON THE LIPS-LOUDLY WITH A BIG SMOOCHING NOISE IN FRONT OF FRIENDS- OR WHEN HE GETS DROPPED OFF AT SCHOOL-ahhhhhhhhhhh

 

The list of stuff she does to control him, and how he doesnt do anything about it and doesnt realize it goes on and on and onnnnnnn. My friends and i just want to snap him out of it. But we dont' know how to deal with this. I don't know if any of you will either, but we're all ears!!!

[usied]

ive def encountered a mother like this ...but the momma's boy is only half way on the mend...you need to have an intervention with this kid ..tell him flat out how it is ..n tell him that he has his boys if he ever needs n e thing! that is very odd that he still kisses his mother...very very odd...i mean its one thing to not care bout what ppl think of him if he hangs out with his parents and kisses his mother on the mouth..but most ppl stop doing these kind of things because its just how it goes...you grow up and u develop an adult realationship with your parents...it could be something deeper tho so be careful not to hurt him ..make sure he knows that you all are worried and want to help him out and have his back no matter what...hope this helps you a lil ...

[xbox_modding_freak]

Tell him to confront his mom and tell her he's not a baby, its making him unpopular. Tell him he can live his life or let his mom do it for him.

 

I know these types. They are the kind that give barbie horse adventures for their 18 year old kid for christmas fearing that if he gets San Andreas he may get a girlfriend..

 

Overprotective moms are a bad thing

 

-XmF

[Jimbo10]

Yea, i like that. I wouldnt' mind some more opinions

 

He just blew they the boys off again, to help his grandma hang xmas decorations, just cause his mom told him he should. I wont go into that too deep, but this is rediculous!

 

I just dont understand this kid anymore, he is a baby

 

I tried to talk to my mom about it, i figured her being his moms friend, she would know how his mom think. She didn't understand why i cared. I geuss my mom is anouther generation, can't understand why i would think this was all so weird! But i geuss that's what separates my friends and i, from this boy. We don't really understand our parents, and they don't understand us, for this dude, his mom IS him. Im so mad. I need more advise.

[shes2smart]

Hate to break this to ya, but you cannot change other people to your liking. What you and your friends think of him may be of little concern to him....especially if he likes the way he is and the way his life is.

 

Your heart may be in the right place, and your intentions may be good, but the fact remains that his life is not yours just as your life is not his. If you want to be a real friend to him, you have to accept him AS HE IS, WHERE HE IS right now....not who he could be, not who he was. If you cannot do that, you need to let him go his own way.

 

Try to turn the situation around for a moment. Would you like it if one of your friends tried to get you to change everything about yourself because they didn't think you were doing things the "right way"? I know I wouldn't like it, and I don't think I'd view the person trying to change me as my friend.

[Blayzed4Life]

Hey Jimbo, I can kinda relate to your friend. I'm 20 and my mom still babys me. It's not so much the way you said your friends mom is but it is similar.

 

Like she gives me my space and everything but I can tell that she thinks I'm somoene I'm not and I cant bring myself to tell her that I'm not exactly who she thinks I am. She's been through so many rough times in the past years that I feel if she found out some of the things about me that she probably doesnt know that she would get even more depressed. She's in pretty bad shape, she was in a horrible car accident a few years ago and just recently lost her mother to cancer.

 

It's not like she's an en evil mom, it's more that she's a fragile mom and I cant bring myself to tell her who I really am, and I go on letting her believe who I am.

 

Just like shes2smart said, it's just something you're going to have to deal with. Maybe theres stuff that you dont really know about and he's just trying to be a good son. Only thing you can do is let him know how you guys feel about it. Weather he will change or not is up to him, but it's his decision to make you cant force him to change. But if you are his friend then atleast stick by him because theres nothing more important then having good friends.

 

Sure you said he acts like a baby sometimes but obviously there must be something that you guys like about him. No one is perfect everyone has their good and bad qualities, thats what makes life interesting. What fun would there be if everyone was the same? There wouldnt be any fun or excitement everything would be predictable and lives would be boring.

 

Anyways thats about all the advice I can give to ya, just be there for him and dont turn your back. You obviously care enough for him to ask for advice so atleast make an effort to keep your friendship you wont regret it down the road!!