Need a little strength

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Hi Everyone,

 

I'm in need of a little strength. Here's the story, I originally posted in the Getting Back Together thread link removed but due to recent events I should have posted here. My ex broke up with me 7 weeks ago over the phone. I never saw it coming, no problems, just said that she didn't love me the way I wanted her to love me. After doing everything wrong for 4 weeks (begging, pleading, etc), I initiated NC after she told me she doesn't want to hurt me anymore. She's a pharmacy student and has just finished clinical rotations. The last rotation was in the same hospital that my boss and his secretary work. She decided to stay in the hospital and was put in the room right next to my boss and his secretary. That was 6 weeks ago.

 

Anyway, I had a staff meeting for the past few days in which I all the staff in my department met (we're all in different hospitals). During a break, my boss's secretary was talking to me about my ex and how much she talks about me. Naturally, I was happy, it gave me hope. Then she said, "I can't believe you spend so much time in the city with her". I was like, huh? I told her that we broke up a week before she went to that hospital. She said "oh, she never mentioned a name so I thought she meant you". Needless to say I was completely devestated. It looks like she was seeing someone immediately after or before she broke up with me.

 

So now I'm struggling with not calling her. I want so much to call her and ask her if this is true. If so, why couldn't she tell me? I'm so torn and hurt that I can't even describe it. I truly love this woman and don't want lose her, although it looks like I already have.

 

I guess I just need some strength.... and to vent a little.

 

Thanks for listening.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Maybe I should call her....

[BCBoy81]

You're in the same boat I'm in. I broke up with my ex almost 6 months ago. We haven't had ANY contact in the last 2 months, thought before those 2 months, there was a lot of #$%^ going down and the cops got involved with her accusing me of mischief. Regardless, I drove through her town the other day (just passing through) and I happened to pass by both the place she lived and where she worked.... didn't see her car. And it's not very easy to miss a '76 Hornet X hatchback. I'm kinda curious about her... I hope she's ok, but I don't think I should call.

 

Do as I do and just keep telling yourself you're better off without her. I have to keep reminding myself that as well. ALL my friends told me she was no good. You may be like me and just get attached too easily, or you care too much. They've left our lives for a reason.... time to move on.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Well, I did send her an e-card congradulating her on finishing her rotation. Didn't mention anything else, just a congrads. Whether she actually opens it or not is another thing. If she does, I'm not going to get too excited.

[Marketa]

Lonely dont call. She is with someone else and what will you get out of calling? Her confirming that she is? What you dont know wont hurt you. look at is as she is dead - thats right dead- that way you couldnt call her anymore if you wanted to. I have an ex that I am getting over and I will never forget him but will not kill myself over thinking about him so to me he is gone and no matter what it can never be again and I am getting over it.

 

Start going out and let her hear from the others that you are having the time of your life.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Yeah, you're probably right. I've talked to a couple of my friends (the people who set us up, she also broke off contact with them when we broke up) and they tell me, that if she is dating someone else, it can only be a step down. Eventually they'll just dump her because, well... she has issues and all modesty asside, I'm the most patient man I know.

 

So from now on, I'll take your advice (or at least really try), she is dead to me. It doesn't mean she won't hold a special place in my heart, but I can't keep on going on like this. My mind knows that, eventually my heart will too.