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It's nice to be hit on by a guy....but not in literary terms

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Ok...I desperately need some help. I know I've been really stupid in this relationship that I'm going to describe here in a few seconds but, thats not the whole point...alright here goes.


Not to long ago, I met this really nice guy. He's was pretty decent looking and I kinda liked him. Well after about a month of knowing him he invited me over to his house for a while. I was like, ok sure, why not right? So I went over to his house, nothing happened. We just talked most of the time. But then I said something that I guess offended him and he picked something up and threw it at the wall. I literally jumped up and looked at him and he looked furious. He looked at me for a long moment before looking away and told me to sit back down and that he was sorry for loosing his temper.


Later, I referred back to the incident and asked him what had happened. I guess that wasn't a very smart idea. This time, he slapped me accross the face. I was practically in tears. He yelled at me, called me a few names and told me that if I told anyone about this then it would be much much worse. So now I was terrified and I just wanted to go home, curl up into a ball and pretend nothing ever happened but he wouldn't let me leave. Finally, later that night...he let me leave and I went home. I've never said a word to anyone about it.


But thats not the only time something like that has happened. I have bruises on my arms and my back from this guy and I don't know what to do. I don't want to call the cops or anything...because (yes I know I'm stubborn) But I still like the guy. He can be a real sweet heart when he's not angry.

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Look your young and definatly not deserving this type of treatment. I say call the cops. Flat out, no questions, call them, tell them this guy has been abusing you and you want it to stop. I can understand you like him (actually I really can't, but part of me does since I've had family in this type of situation), but he is never going to change his ways unless he gets a "swift kick in the face" from reality, or he goes "over the line". Believe me, you don't want to be the one he "goes over the line" with, and you definatly don't want to be around someone who can put a smile on his face in public, but when the doors shut the "horns" come out. You deserve better, and this guy needs to get his @ss kicked, plain and simple. Don't think you can change him, and even if you can , think about it. Would you really want to put yourself through this for x amount of years??

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... So now I was terrified and I just wanted to go home... I have bruises on my arms and my back from this guy and I don't know what to do....

But I still like the guy. He can be a real sweet heart when he's not angry.


BUT YOU SHOULD NOT LIKE THE GUY. HE CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS WHEN HE IS ANGRY. You think you like the guy because you have known him as a nice guy first. He won't stop hurting you, he an abuser(and you know that, you posted here in 'Abuse and Violence'.) How much more will it take before you stop seeing him?


Run away and never see him again!

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He can be a real sweet heart when he's not angry.
But when he'll keep getting angry, and it'll keep getting worse. He could really hurt you. Already he has thrown something, slapped you and left bruises. That's enough right there.


Whether you like this guy or not, nobody deserves to be treated that way. It's wrong.


Everytime he gets angry, afterwards he'll calm down and apologize for it. Saying "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It won't happen again" over and over...but it'll keep happening.


I'm sure you think if you tell anyone, it'll get worse. Or he has told you, that if you say a single thing he'll make it worse. But if you tell someone it won't get worse, you'll be okay then. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.



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The thing with guys like this is - they can be ADICTIVE. They are so sweet when they are not angry, that you tend to disconnect him to his angry self. He becomes a totally different person when he's angry and abusing you. Then afterwards he shows GENIUNE compassion, and you believe him, and fall for it again.


Im talking from experience...lot's of it. To be honest, if my abuser did not die in a bike crash, I would be dead today, by his hands.


Things will only spiral downwards, you will get caught deeper into his trap, and it will become harder and harder to leave. They snare you, and to walk away becomes impossible.

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You know sonjam is right. While I would not go so faqr as to hit a woman or tell anyone to abuse anyone else. The idea I'd would tell you to be is make someone feel special then withdraw, so they don't feel that way. You turn it on and off. You make then smile one day until their face muscles get sore, then ignore them a bit on the end. Guess what, this is what he is doing. Sweet so that you feel wonderful and then look for more of that feeling, while the abuse lurks nearby. It's feeding you psychological crack. Don't get hooked.

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please please leave him immediately!! the thought of a 14 year old girl getting slapped in the face is especially heartbreaking. there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for someone to treat you this way. never. there are a million boys out there who would never lay a hand on you and who will treat you well. please get out of this relationship, it is very dangerous and you really need to trust all of us when we tell you this.

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Leave this guy. He is sick! No one deserves to be abused. No one. Be careful with people who try to put on a mask to make it seem as though you can trust them. Abusers have a really good way of putting on this, "Oh. I'm a nice guy image." Believe me, I've been through it. The feelings of recooperating from abuse/violence is pure misery. You're still young. You deserve happiness. A person who abuses you, isn't someone who's worth building happiness with, because it won't happen.

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  • 1 month later...

i know how this is PM me so i can tell you how it really end i was in the same situation and well just go look at my post in this forum its "My ex is out of jail and looking for me...HELP!!!!" that should show you how they really are and how bad it gets. In my case he hit me so hard a couple times that i dont remember at least one day after. He went to jail and is out (no i didnt send him to jail) now he is looking for me and my current bf of 11 months. IT ONLY GETS WORSE I PROMISE no i am absolutly begging you dont stay as long as i did dont be like me and the thousands of other women who wait until its to late and they are in the hospitol with a machine hooked up to them cause the abuse got so bad that they cant even breathe i could tell you about my sisters ex husband but that might be to grousom for this or any web site...its even worse than it sounds i promise...GET OUT NOW show people its possible and that you are stong and have a good head on your sholders but like i said look at my post (its a little newer than yours) and PM me if you want more. I am more than willing to share if it means that you will be smarter than i was and my sister was...oh is he doing drugs just a thought

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