Hit a wall of steel too big for me to knock down, in a rut about it.

[ninachamile]

Have been trying for years to get back into school. Every year it seems something held me back. I know, I know. The only person responsible is "you".

Let's get past that.

Now, I have seen the college adviser, got what I needed as far as getting started. Took the steps I had to and got those done. NOW, here is where it gets gruesome. My taxes are a shambles, my previous student loans are on a payment plan and are now late. I will make a payment tomorrow. I promised my self to do this. If they are open. If my taxes are this messed up I will not be able to get financial aid. I do not want anymore loans. I owe a previous school a good chunk of money so I cant get my transcripts. If i pay that debt it will leave me in the deeper poor house for this week and my rent is due. My TSI testing needs to be made and if I don't pass those I will be forced to take the equivalence courses before I can even take the prerec's. I know I will be taking the math course in lowest forms. I know this, this is a fact.

 

I need help from the student with disabilities office for my ADHD. They are going to want to see my transcripts and any current (with in two years) psych-evaluations. I have one, but it was from just two years ago and my insurance will not pay to have one done. Those are expensive people,EXPENSIVE and trying to get help from a government agency will only give me a run around of " let's do talk therapy first and find out if you really have ADHD, maybe you were misdiagnosed". YES it's true! Can you believe it?, I could have smacked that numb-skull. It will be years before I can convince anyone of having one done.

 

In the past, I have paid ALL my child support when it was due. They are saying that I owe Thousands upon thousands of late payments which will never get paid off because of the daily interest and seeing that my child resides with me my check is still being garnished and given to the gaurdian for back pay, and the little amount that is being taken out, they will be taken it out of my retirement or til they or I die. I do not want to die nor do not want them to die I just want them out of my life. They have done enough damage with their control and continue to effect my life. I tried speaking to the proper people and get the run around. Im leaving this topic before i put my head through the wall, windows and sink. All of this has effected my taxes and will effect my FASFA.

 

SO, here are the main things that are haunting my goals of getting ahead in life.

 

I feel stuck and beyond frustrated. I feel like my hands are tied behind my and im going over the worlds tallest waterfall and cant even enjoy the scenery because my eyes have been gouged out by the gnarled fingers of destiny. I should just jump, at least I have control of that.