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I am really conflicted over this and would really appreciate some advice. I am completely and deeply in love with a woman, but there is a major issue that is keeping us apart. I am in my early 40's and have 2 children from a previous marriage, that I visit every other weekend. My girlfriend is in her mid 30's, has never been married, and has always dreamed of marriage to the right man, and children with him. I'm confident that I'm the right man, but not as certain about having more children.


There are a few reasons for this; I suffer from chronic insomnia, and having raised two children, I know how much energy it requires, and I'm not sure if I can do it. I am working very hard to resolve this issue, and believe that I will, but once I do, I may find that there are other things I want to do with my new found energy, like travel, take up hobbies, etc.


Before I met her, I was certain that my child rearing days were behind me, but we made such a special connection, fell deeply in love and moved forward with our relationship. I have only recently reconsidered the child issue, and she is giving me the time to resolve my insomnia, so that I can decide, with a clear head where I stand in the issue. I do believe, that for a man, the most important relationship he can have is that with his spouse, while for most women, it is that with their children.


Are there any fathers out there with similar experiences? Over forty and doing it all over again? Can I walk away from what might well be the love of my life because I may not want more children, or should I compromise and have children so that I may spend the rest of my life with her?


Any input would be sincerely appreciated. Thanks in advance,



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  • 2 weeks later...

I am only 17 but i think that a major part of love is sacrifice. So, i guess the question is, do you love her enough to sacrifice your time and energy on what she wants...kids. Have you talked to her about your insomnia? She would probably love you all the more if she knew that you were going to over come a condition you have just to make her happy. I don't know if this helps any but good luck and God bless

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