How to tell parents about new relationship

[Yorkrose23]

I need some advice. I just started a new relationship with an incredible man. I just fell madly in love with him as he did with me. I'm 23, he's 37.

He's also divorced with two children. The age difference does not really bother either of us and I've also met and adore his kids. And they both love me as well.

The problem is telling my parents. I don't know how they are going to react. I really love this man and have absolutely no intention to give him up.

I'm worried that they will freak out and say that he is just looking for someone to help him take care of his children(which is not the case)

How can I tell them without them trying to dissuade me from having a relationship with him?

[hazlcha]

Hi,

 

What happens if your parents try to dissuade you? Do you know their arguments, and do you have good answers? It looks like you already have an inkling that they would not approve, hence your post. Why do you feel that way? And the suspicion of him just wanting you to take care of his kids is not what I'd expect you to say! If that's all he needs, he can hire a full time babysitter! I expected you to say that they disapprove of the age difference, that maybe he's hit an early mid-life crisis or something.

 

I suggest you think through the worst case scenario, get your confidence up that you're doing the right thing for yourself and for him, and then be honest with your folks. I've met parents who are surprisingly tolerant of age gap relationships with their kids, if the person involved is a good person. Think through what their concerns are and know what to respond.

 

One more thing. If they do resist, don't fight them. Instead, listen well to what they say and even repeat it back to them. Make them feel that they were heard. Then, give it some time and they'll come around. good luck.

[Scout]

Hmmm...what concerns me is how passionate you already are. You say you just started a relationship with him, and you're already in love and have met the kids. You're already stating you absolutely won't give him up.

 

You don't think your parents won't have some valid concerns? I certainly would if I was them.

[Yorkrose23]

Well I have known him for a while, we just started dating recently.

We've had feelings for each other for a long time now, at first the age gap was a bit of a concern. But after realizing how strong our feelings for each other really were, we decided that it does not really matter; so then we started dating. It wasn't an instantaneous thing.(this all happened over about eight months time) We're not trying to rush anything, I just met his kids because they are part of his life. As far as my parents go, they'd have no argument about falling in love quickly as they themselves got married after knowing each other for only three months.

But that is not my concern, my concern is that they may be too judgemental of him just because he's older.

[FiveHorizons]

First off, are you in a position in your life that being with an older man with kids wont interfere? Are you in college? Are you pursuing a career? These things might have a bearing on your parent's feelings.

[Scout]

Hi Yorkrose,

 

I didn't realize you had known him for a while. Whew! That's a relief. I agree with the last poster, that your parents might get concerned if it appears this relationship will hinder in any way your current career/school plans. So just be prepared to reassure them on that point. They probably will have some serious concerns about the age difference, and the fact he has children. My advice is to listen carefully to what they say, and honestly keep it in mind, even if you don't agree.