this sucks

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Well, I'm just going to complain a bit. Mostly about myself, and the strange paradoxes I find myself in.

 

First off is the fact that no mater how well a girl matches up with the conventional view of beauty I never find them attractive until I get to know them. Some of you may think that would be a good thing, but it's not. You always find yourself being smashed into the just friends category long before you really get to know someone, and for me that means that by the time I start finding someone attractive it's much to late.

 

I many times wish I could be like everyone else and just find someone attractive right off the bat and be able to pursue a relationship before it's too late, but things just don't work out like that for the few people I do meet. The longer I'm alone, the more I loathe who I am. Why can't I have the connection with people that I see everyone else having.

 

Going home every night to an empty house is the most unbearable feeling I can imagine. I can't call it my home because that isn't where my heart is. It's anywhere but there. I'll go out to the mall late at night just to be around people and away form the emptiness of my house. I'll sit in a bar by myself just to have those extra hours where I can hear someone's voice. Where I live is that last place on earth that I would want to be. I no longer sleep; I just wander around trying to find someone, anyone that will have something to do with me, but the simple fact that I have no one makes me look all the more desperate.

 

I guess I'm not really looking for advice, but if anyone has something that could help feel free to give your advice.

 

I was just complaning

[Caldus]

You sound a lot like me. I feel that need to connect with people too. And I don't mean just a girlfriend. I mean a social life basically. I've never really had a social life and never had a girlfriend. I try to get out like you do sometimes (of course I can't go to bars yet ) just so I can put myself out there. It's difficult to see other people connecting with others so well and seeming so happy and then I just continue to be disconnected with other people.

 

So do you actually try to meet people or do you wait for people to come to you? It may just simply be that you may have to try and meet more people yourself instead of waiting for them to come to you if that's the case. Don't feel alone though because I feel like that too. Good luck!

[Mun]

Hi niftty,

I'm not going to tell you not to feel this way because truth is I know how you feel.

 

Today is not a good day for me for some reason. I usually have great days. I don't feel lonely, just very very sad. I can't tell what is going on. It started this morning .

 

Anyway, hang in there. I think I'm going to take a nap and feel better later...I Hope

[Caldus]

Sorry this is off-topic...

 

muneca I LOVE this quote: "Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code."

[tiger_lilies]

I find it gets harder to make friends as you get older. Everyone's always so busy with their own lives...even my close friends all have a lot on their plate.

 

I am trying to find joy in being alone. I know it's hard...been fighting loneliness for a long time now. Perhaps you could try joining some classes such as dance class or art classes...something where you can meet new people.

 

I feel you Nifty, hang it there...it HAS to get better eh?

[bat_grrl]

I know how you feel. I don't really know many people in my area and have trouble making friends as everyone seems so busy with their own lives. I do the same thing..I will go to the mall and walk around just to be around people. I recently started a class 3 times a week, which really helps. I do have two children, so when they are home from school, at least my home is not empty. I am in an LDR but we are having some communication issues and while I want to be in conatact everyday, he sees things a bit differently. This leads me to feel lonely and depressed quite often something to which I am prone to anyway.

 

See if you can take a class or something? Come on the computer and talk with people you know here? I know it isn't the same as having a live human being next to you but it is at least a way to communicate in the mean time.

 

It is hard when you feel lonely and such like this as when you do find someone to spend time with, you (not meaning you personally) tend to cling to the companionship of that person and can seem desperate and clingy. That can tend to put people off.

 

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to IM me. I am a good lsitener and I know exactly what you are feeling. I have been there and seem to be going through it now as well to some extent.