Have you ever... ?

[El3216]

Have you personally it heard of some ones situation go down like this:

 

I feel in my heart that my ex girlfriend of 3 years gone for good. I have all but given up hope that she will want to reconcile. I feel that she has catapulted into her new single life and hasn't even looked back at me left here in the dust.

 

I want to give up say **** it and move forward.. Obviously I will in due time.

 

But my question is have you or anyone you knew given up because their ex cut them off cold turkey only to have them miss you after some time and all of the sudden want to get to know you again? I know the dynamics are different for every situation so know one knows what can happen..

 

Whether its a grass is greener situation or simply you didn't know what you had until it was gone thing?

 

I want to give up hope but when all I think about ( putting her on that pedestal) is her and us being together it was hard to truly do that. I can say it till I'm blue in the face that I have up and am moving on but I know it's a lie.

 

Thanks in advance for the replies and perspectives.

[jman77]

Its hard to just get up and move on. im doing the same me and my ex grew distant due to living with each other. at the end of our lease we moved back home to save money we are 24 she told me she was happy and content single. so I went NC It was broken a few times but when I last saw her and talked to her was at the gym we ran into each other. talked and ended with a take care and a hug. the whole time she sounded like she was gunna cry. felt nice to feel like something is still there but I tell myself that we aren't getting back together and to move on. it is very hard to not hold on to hope. its only been a week and a half since we last talked and a month since we BU. Im not gunna lie I do hope she contacts me someday but Im not holding hope that she will. best thing I can tell you is don't act desperate. I learned that in a past breakup just makes it worse. Go NC block her from FB and delete photos on your phone. its not easy do all this but its what you have to do. take time for yourself. don't go off sleeping with other girls because 1) wont make u feel better and 2) if she finds out then that will most likely kill all hopes of getting back together. heal alone don't go for a rebound. yes it makes the pain go away a little bit but it also wont help. when you do move on which you will and you did do a rebound you most likely wont wanna be with her anymore and end up hurting her. I also did that in my last breakup. this time around I didn't act desperate I told all friends to NOT tell me anything about her. I blocked her on FB and got rid of the photos. I can tell you its a roller coaster of feelings. im up and down. right now I miss her like crazy but all day yesterday and today I was good only because I was with friends. go to the gym better yourself go out with friends on the weekends mingle with some ladies makes you feel more confident. you don't need to hook up with them just talking makes you feel like you will eventually move on and be able to meet someone and fall in love again. I hope what I said will help you through your tough times. remember your not alone many people feel the same way you do. I know I do. take care

[El3216]

Yeah I can relate to you.

 

Together 3 years moved in and things really fell apart. Never thought we'd break up over it but look at me now.. 3 months since the break up he moved out 10 days ago. Living together while being broken up was the hardest thing ever. I did a little damage by begging crying and trying to etcher back. Then I laid off and have her space for the last month. She went totally cold and only spoke to me it she had too. Like you- she did cry in the last day when I walked up and hugged her as she left with theist box. It's been 10 days since I've seen her and ofcourse I haven't texted her and I'm still being dumb and checking my phone every 2 mins for a text from her.

[jman77]

its only normal to check your phone. I just tell myself everything is going to be ok and I will move on. believe me if she does love you and wants to be with you she will come back. but in the mean time try moving on don't expect that call or text will only pro long your healing process. its hard to do. when you do heal you will no what went wrong in your relationship you will fix it and if she doesn't come back you will have changed and have an even better connection that last. you wont make the same mistakes you made last time. good luck my friend. stay positive.

[ParisPaulette]

Wait, I'm confused. Was she your ex-girlfriend for three years and now suddenly has moved on or was she your girlfriend for three years and now has moved on? Either way it is time to shut the door and move on yourself. Going NC does help with the healing and it gets you focused on getting your own life back. In nearly every case after going NC my exes did try to get back together with me when I finally stopped chasing them and had moved on. Sometimes it wasn't until months or even a year or more after we'd broken up, but yes they did. In all but one case though I said no, because by that time I was done and had moved on from them. Also the worse they treated me during the breakup and afterwards the less I wanted anything to do with them. With my last ex though I ignored my own common sense and we did get back together--repeatedly. It was a complete and utter disaster each time until I finally just stopped and have said no to him ever since. The fact is it is called a break-up, because it's broken. I know that people can reconcile after being apart for months or even years, but it's a pretty rare event and usually involves life changes for both partners that mean the relationship is a completely new one as if they'd never been together in the first place.

 

You are better off at this point to go NC and focus on yourself and getting your life on track. What ifs and hoping things will change in the future keep you from healing and worse, even if she came back tomorrow are the problems that led to the breakup fixed? Probably not, which means whatever was wrong in the first place is still there and will be there in the future.

[Nightdriver]

I had one come back 6 months later, after she presumably got dumped by her rebound. We then dated for another 18 months. Which was weird, because I didn't go away quietly the first time at all.

[blukate]

im on the same page..my bf of 10 years and 6 months broke up with me almost 2 months ago because he fell in love with someone else. Its my 3rd day of NC. I deleted his cp number and whenever I miss him and wants to talk with him, I wrote it down to my journal.. Since he's the one who broke up with me, I keep in mind that no matter how hard and painful it is I have to respect his decision and I have to move on.

[benjii]

I'm in the totally same situation as you, been 5 months since bu and she cut me cold but she has been following trying to wind me up which is so immature she even admit she was doing this and told someone i know but think its her way of holding on to me but now I'm lost all hope and just think she never coming back

[nfperception]

its only normal to check your phone. I just tell myself everything is going to be ok and I will move on. believe me if she does love you and wants to be with you she will come back. but in the mean time try moving on don't expect that call or text will only pro long your healing process. its hard to do. when you do heal you will no what went wrong in your relationship you will fix it and if she doesn't come back you will have changed and have an even better connection that last. you wont make the same mistakes you made last time. good luck my friend. stay positive.

 

Yep. Pretty much this.

[El3216]

Yep. Pretty much this.

 

Some times i get te urge to text her and say that.. Lol

 

If you love me stop ****ing around and let's make this happen. I don't because I can't handle her response.