Empathy Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I suppose I brought this upon myself. I'm just hoping for good advice to guide my way out of this. I just broke up with my bf (now known as my ex) about 4-5 months ago. I still have feelings for him, there's no doubt about that. I'm still in love with him... Then I met a guy that, for the majority of the time, kept my mind off of him. ONE of the problems is he wants to go to the CIA(Culinary institute of America) in NY. I brought it up to him that maybe seeing eachother was a bad idea since he was going to be leaving. Then I suggested that maybe we should just be friends before it got too deep. He did NOT take it the right way. One thing about this guy is he's VERY fragile. He cries at almost the drop of a hat. So, he started crying and he told me that he's so happy just being around me, etc.. So, then of course I felt horrible. We've only been seeing eachother for a little over 3 weeks! I didn't expect him to be THAT attached to me. I'll be honest, there's a little part of me thats attached as well but not to that degree...Anyway...We decided to stay together but I know that it was a mistake. I should have just been done with it and told him that it probably wasn't meant to be. My ex is coming home in December and I know that my feelings for him are going to come to the surface. I just know it. But I felt that I'd hurt this guy and I had to fix it. As a result, I'm pretty much stuck. I do like this guy a lot. But I just don't see a future for us. I will never deny that I got myself into this predicament. I just need someone to help me get myself out. As I said, he is SOOOOOO fragile...How do I end it without killing him? Link to comment
EnolWolf Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I'm a sensitive guy (would never cry at the drop of a hat). My girl recently said the same thing to me. I felt hurt, but was willing to do it out of respect for her. I wouldn't want her to feel suffocated by me. She changed her mind though... Anyway, back to you. The only thing you can do is be direct. Of course he may hurt, but that his problem not yours. I'm not saying that to be mean. No one deserves to feel stuck with anyone. As hard as it may be, you're gonna have to tell him again. All you're doing now is leading him on. I can see that you're compassionate, but you can't that keep you in a situation you don't want to be in. Link to comment
Empathy Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 : Easier said than done. Link to comment
Gunther Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I know that this is a rather sexist statement, but men should not show there emotion like that. It's just not dignified. But no matter what it will always hurt to break up, but it is unavoidable. And although it sucks to hurt anyone, sometimes it is just more benificial to say it and be done. LoL a thought comes to mind, why dont you just direct him to this site. But seriously, sometimes you just have to hurt someone in order to do what is best for you, and thats just the way it is. Link to comment
EnolWolf Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 That's no reason to stay with him if you don't want him in that way. The sooner you leave the better. Link to comment
DBL Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 3 weeks and he is crying about a break up? I think he needs couseling. Break it off now before it gets worse. If he is crying after 3 weeks...what do you think he will do after 6 weeks? Break it off with him ASAP, if it kills him it kills him...you can't be held responsible for that. It is not like you took his life, family, or anything away from him. Just do it and spare him getting attached even more. DBL Link to comment
tea Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Whoa.. 3 weeks and he's already crying? If you break up with him 1 year after you got together, would he kill himself? Empathy, leave him ASAP. If you stop yourself from being guilt tripped into staying with him or stop yourself from sympathizing with him it's not that hard to break up. You don't want to stay with someone this emotional. Link to comment
Empathy Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Yep... I guess I just have to be strong and get it over with...Thanks guys. If any of you can give me some ideas of how I could do it, I would appreciate it. What could I say? When should I do it? etc... Link to comment
DBL Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 A few people over the years asked me how you dump someone. Why they came to me...i'm not sure. Just tell him you are going out for milk! Although I did that once and the girl didn't get the hint and thought I was in a car accident. Since he is going to cry, you may not want to do it face to face and definitely don't do it in public. If yoiu want to it face to face, do it at his door step. Do it quick...like you are taking off a band-aid. So here is your scenario...call him up, tell him you will be right over, meet you at the door. Knock on the door, and him a tissue, say "I don't want to date you no more"...slap him on the shoulder (not too hard, he may get hurt)...and turn around and walk away. Good Luck and let us know how it goes. DBL Link to comment
Empathy Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 HA HA! You ARE a funny guy, DBL. Yeah. I think I'll do something along those lines. But not exactly. Link to comment
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