a new me

[heart4chris]

I have had some hard times lately, where everytime I think about myself I think of the negative things. My boyfriend of a year and a half just recently told me he needed some time to figure out what he wanted and that he didn't love me romantically anymore, just as a friend. It hurt really bad. It made me think it was something I did, something I did to drive him away. And while it may of been me calling him a lot , or wanting to talk to him all the time, all i did was love him to the best of my ability.

 

I know he thinks some things of me that I don't like about myself. He thinks I'm too needy, he probably thinks I'm stupid and can't hold an intelligent conversation, since we never have really. Its not that I can't, we just never talked about anything really.

 

Now I'm not so sure what I want anymore either. I know one thing I want in future relationships, whether it be with him or with someone else. I want a different kind of relationship than me and him had. I want more than anything for him to come back to me, and if he did.. I would want our relationship to be different. Not like it was before, where he walked away.

 

I want to be someone's best friend, not just their girlfriend. I want them to come to me with their problems, and feel they can tell me the truth about anything whether it will hurt my feelings or not.

 

I want us each to take time away from each other to be with our friends and family.

 

I want us to love each other unconditionally, through everything and try to work every little problem out when it occurs, so we can move on with our relationship and be happy.

 

If for any reason at all I make him unhappy I want him to tell me when he gets that way, not wait around and see if it will fix itself. Cause it only hurts worse when you know its been going on for a while.

 

Is that too much to ask??? Am I asking too much out of something?/

 

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I don't know if I should totally change the way I am about things, so I am not so needy, clingy,... just so I can keep the one thing that means everything to me.

 

I need advice. .Words of wisdom.. anything.... I just need advice about life..... Please help.

[DBL]

You just got to be who you are and find someone that is fine with who you are. This is one relationship, you will have more. Breaking up is always hard, and a lot of times we try to figure out what we did wrong. Don't think you did something wrong, that has nothing to do with his new feelings towards you.

 

Just hang in there and you will eventually find someone that will embrace your qualities.

 

DBL

[Mun]

Hi there,

Well it sounds to me like you have got it going on. Don't change a thing. I think you are at that point now where you have learned from this and can offer more to your future relationship. We learn as we go along 8) .

 

I thing that your boyfriend is going to miss out on the person you are becoming and it will be his loss. Be strong, there will be someone out there who will love you just as you are and appreciate everything you have to give.

 

Try and focus on the positive. You have alot of good feelings inside you... you will be ok

[heart4chris]

Thanks for the advice.

 

I really needed some advice about life.

 

I know I have a lot of good qualities, and I don't think I showed them all to my ex- boyfriend (that still feels weird to write and say)

 

I just have to learn how to be strong. And learn from the mistakes. Thanks again