depressed about work

[phasegirl]

I've been working at my same company for 13 years - in the same role, despite my growing in my education.

 

Several years ago, I was going to leave but my boss was fired, and I thought this would give me the opportunity to make my new boss see my skills and promote me. Instead, to make a long story short, this nasty woman was hired over me - she is one of those she-males who think that by acting like men, they can be like CEO's. I won't go into details but she is just nasty, plain ol' nasty.

 

The time came when several manager's positions opened up, but this she-male basically kept asking me to do stupid work where I couldn't show my skills to the new (higher) bosses. Also, she started to talk to the new boss about promoting another worker (one who came in 7 years after me). This other worker is a guy and ironically, so are all the other workers who report directly to her. (She has never hired another female in a management's role).

 

I wont' go into any more details, but eventually, after my trying very hard to get a manager's position, which opened up, she managed to get the guy promoted into that position, and now I have to report to this person (on top of she-male and others). Where once upon a time, I was reporting directly to a CFO, I am now reporting to a middle manager without management experience. It is quite humiliating to be honest.

 

I am very resented at the she-male for putting me in a position (like answering phones), where I couldn't show my skills. When I went to talk to her about how I felt, she told me that she thinks that I am in a glass ceiling and that I need to do something about it.

 

I would love to leave, but I am finishing my masters degree which my job is paying for. But still - I feel like crap every time I have to go to work.

 

Does anyone here feel that what I'm feeling is normal? I am trying to change my attitude but I'm finding it very hard to deal with this crap.

[craigslist]

Hello there! Wow your boss seems like a duche! I would like to say something though. Your company is paying for your M? Good show...there is no way a company will pay for something like that without HR having a career plan for you, so my advice is go speak with them! In the end where you are now, and where you could be are two different places! The she-male does not matter, even though it sucks a lot right now I'm sure, but get your M, then make your move, but do it cleverly...i.e. talk to HR! The other option is also to go solo after your M, you have a lot of skills I gather, so consultancy might be for you...Good Luck!!

[lavenderdove]

OK, what you have to accept here is that the company has had two opportunities to promote you to a management position, and they didn't do it the first time when this woman was hired, and they didn't do it a second time either. So sadly they just don't see you as management material. there are different corporate cultures at every company, and companies tend to promote people they see as fitting the model for what they want in their managers. And if you don't fit that model for any reason, you don't get promoted.

 

If someone tells you you've hit a glass ceiling, then you need to leave that company and look for another job elsewhere because you are wasting your time there. Leave as soon as you get your degree, and tell your interviewers that now that you've got your degree, you are looking for a new jobthat will use all of your skills and experience.

 

The thing is there are only so many management slots anywhere, and when you've been passed over twice, that is a good indication that hanging around much longer isn't going to get you that promotion. Not everyone gets promoted to management, and if they've already stuck you in that slot in the minds where they don't want you there, then you need to take the initiative to look elsewhere, or change your attitude and not let it get to you and decide it is OK to not be in management. Most people actually don't end up there...

[lavenderdove]

>>there is no way a company will pay for something like that without HR having a career plan for you,

 

Actually many companies have educational programs where they will pay for their employees to get a higher degree, and they offer that education to all. It doesn't mean they'll promote you into management though and it may be that they'll just pay for any degree that is remotely relevant to the person's positions. Many people make that mistake thinking the higher degree means automatic promotion... it doesn't.

[pl3asehelp]

Your manager is a female and actually said to you you've hit a glass ceiling? If so, bingo, you can make enough off a lawsuit with no need to waste time as a dilbert management type.

[phasegirl]

Your manager is a female and actually said to you you've hit a glass ceiling? If so, bingo, you can make enough off a lawsuit with no need to waste time as a dilbert management type.

 

lol, those were my thoughts - perhaps she made the comment so daringly because she does't think I'm assertive enough to actually do anything about it.

[phasegirl]

 

The thing is there are only so many management slots anywhere, and when you've been passed over twice, that is a good indication that hanging around much longer isn't going to get you that promotion. Not everyone gets promoted to management, and if they've already stuck you in that slot in the minds where they don't want you there, then you need to take the initiative to look elsewhere, or change your attitude and not let it get to you and decide it is OK to not be in management. Most people actually don't end up there...

 

I understand what you mean, but since many people had been fired and/or laid off - many of them senior managers who made these decisions, I thought that I could start with a clean slate. I have a coworker who was passed over for promotions many times, but today, because of the new managers, he's actually made it from Assistant Director to Director.

[pl3asehelp]

lol, those were my thoughts - perhaps she made the comment so daringly because she does't think I'm assertive enough to actually do anything about it.

 

Could be but I think it's more likely her lack of experience. Anyone with any educational background or even basic training in management would never commit a gaffe like that which could put their employer at risk.

[Not a rookie]

Been there, done that. She is jealous of you. Finish up your Masters degree and then leave. Keep reminding yourself that you are not stuck there forever and once you are done with your Masters you will be working elsewhere with better conditions.

[pl3asehelp]

Personally I feel like if career advancement is important to you and it's not happening at the pace you'd like it to, you need to look elsewhere. Every time I'be left a job it was for either more money or for personal career goals. 13 years is just too long I think. It would be a miracle if one employers needs would keep pace with your goals over such a long time period.