heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I'm tempted to,for the distraction and to 'beat' him to it. Stop me from doing it? Link to comment
CocoaBean Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 You don't want to hurt an innocent bystander to "beat" someone else to it! Not good for you either! Stand down Link to comment
abitbroken Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I agree. Don't meet up with the new guy. Right now, you are vulnerable. Meet up with a platonic same gender friend or family member instead and do something fun. Link to comment
markie6 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yeah don't do that, last thing we need is another poor soul turning up here with a story of how they were used , started to feel something and only to be told by the other person they weren't over their ex Link to comment
MonsterM Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My girl did it...girls usually do it...she is with him for 2 months now...Im just wondering how long will that last.I laughed a lot at the beginning...but now it hurts a little bit...knowing the girl you had sex with for 1 year is slamming with a guy she just met. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yikes -- I can see jumping into something after a month or two....... but a WEEK?? Instead of focusing right away on another guy, why not take this time to develop interests within yourself? That's really the most important relationship you're going to have in life, the one you have with yourself. My girl did it...girls usually do it...she is with him for 2 months now...Im just wondering how long will that last.I laughed a lot at the beginning...but now it hurts a little bit...knowing the girl you had sex with for 1 year is slamming with a guy she just met. That's just silly, there's nothing gender-specific about rebounding. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yikes -- I can see jumping into something after a month or two....... but a WEEK?? Instead of focusing right away on another guy, why not take this time to develop interests within yourself? That's really the most important relationship you're going to have in life, the one you have with yourself. Probably not a relationship per se but just meeting new people. I probably will be ready in 2 months Link to comment
surfjon Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Haha! Markie, true! Don't need more of us in here!! Really though, I don't see it as too wrong to simply go out with someone.... Just as you can't say how long it takes to stop hurting, whos to say how long it takes to start healing? I think if one feels they want to go out with someone after a week, it may be a good sign, the person may be ready to let go and start healing.... After I knew I needed to bail on her ambivalence, I went to dinner with a girl that asked me over, it was just about 10 days after I set my mind that she rejected me, hurt me for 2 years, and was going to be out of my life. I was honest with her about that I was just out of a 5 year relationship, kinda hurt, and just wanted someone to hang out with, go see music, take on the boat, etc...and she's good with that. We've been hanging out a month, and she sees other people and so do I, so it works and was a really good thing for me in a really hard time, took my mind off my ex, gives me some hope and alot of fun! The last 2 years of my life weren't much fun, it was my fault for sticking around I know, but after all this, I damn sure welcomed some fun back in my lif!! Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yikes -- I can see jumping into something after a month or two....... but a WEEK?? Instead of focusing right away on another guy, why not take this time to develop interests within yourself? That's really the most important relationship you're going to have in life, the one you have with yourself. That's just silly, there's nothing gender-specific about rebounding. Haha! Markie, true! Don't need more of us in here!! Really though, I don't see it as too wrong to simply go out with someone.... Just as you can't say how long it takes to stop hurting, whos to say how long it takes to start healing? I think if one feels they want to go out with someone after a week, it may be a good sign, the person may be ready to let go and start healing.... After I knew I needed to bail on her ambivalence, I went to dinner with a girl that asked me over, it was just about 10 days after I set my mind that she rejected me, hurt me for 2 years, and was going to be out of my life. I was honest with her about that I was just out of a 5 year relationship, kinda hurt, and just wanted someone to hang out with, go see music, take on the boat, etc...and she's good with that. We've been hanging out a month, and she sees other people and so do I, so it works and was a really good thing for me in a really hard time, took my mind off my ex, gives me some hope and alot of fun! The last 2 years of my life weren't much fun, it was my fault for sticking around I know, but after all this, I damn sure welcomed some fun back in my lif!! Yeah I understand it's totally a taboo to want to go out with someone new in a matter. But in my case I don't want my ex back and it doesn't hurt that much anymore. I just want some distractions and meet new people, not rebound per se. If I do meet a new guy I will tell him I'm not ready. Also this is just what I'm hoping to do, who knows if I could meet someone. Most likely will be ready in a month or two. Link to comment
markie6 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yeah theres a rather huge difference with having somebody to hang out with... and vamping / parasiticaly using somebody to get over another person with little or no regard for somebody elses feelings. Nobody likes to be a rebound and I personaly wouldn't even hang out with somebody who wasn't over their ex. Fun is good, but not at anothers expense. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My girl did it...girls usually do it...she is with him for 2 months now...Im just wondering how long will that last.I laughed a lot at the beginning...but now it hurts a little bit...knowing the girl you had sex with for 1 year is slamming with a guy she just met. Not true MonsterM. Both boys and girls can do this .. but you are right on one thing ... it would be "girls" not "women" and "boys" not "men". I think the the younger you are the more impulsive you are when it comes to masking the pain and the more mistakes you subsequently make. As you get older and wiser you tend to know that acting on impulse or out of revenge is not really the best policy. OP, don't do it. You will only hurt yourself more, not to mention the innocent person you drag into this. If you really feel your ex will do something like that then that doesn't say much for your ex. You can be a bigger person than that .. and make sensible, grown up judgements. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yikes -- I can see jumping into something after a month or two....... but a WEEK?? Instead of focusing right away on another guy, why not take this time to develop interests within yourself? That's really the most important relationship you're going to have in life, the one you have with yourself. That's just silly, there's nothing gender-specific about rebounding. Not true MonsterM. Both boys and girls can do this .. but you are right on one thing ... it would be "girls" not "women" and "boys" not "men". I think the the younger you are the more impulsive you are when it comes to masking the pain and the more mistakes you subsequently make. As you get older and wiser you tend to know that acting on impulse or out of revenge is not really the best policy. OP, don't do it. You will only hurt yourself more, not to mention the innocent person you drag into this. If you really feel your ex will do something like that then that doesn't say much for your ex. You can be a bigger person than that .. and make sensible, grown up judgements. Yeah I want to beat him to it because I don't want him to have a new gf before I have new bf. it's happened to be before in the past so I'm afraid this will happen too. Real secure and mature uh Link to comment
sharky988 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Agreed -- it's not a race and your ex is just playing games if he acts like it is. Why not take some time and focus on YOU for the next few months? There's more to life than being with some guy. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yikes -- I can see jumping into something after a month or two....... but a WEEK?? Instead of focusing right away on another guy, why not take this time to develop interests within yourself? That's really the most important relationship you're going to have in life, the one you have with yourself. That's just silly, there's nothing gender-specific about rebounding. Agreed -- it's not a race and your ex is just playing games if he acts like it is. Why not take some time and focus on YOU for the next few months? There's more to life than being with some guy. I disagree with Markie, I think it's ok to meet new people as friends and hang out. Dating should come after real healing Link to comment
sharky988 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I disagree with Markie, I think it's ok to meet new people as friends and hang out. Dating should come after real healing Again, ask yourself why the rush to focus on someone else? Learning how to feel happy and complete on your own, independent of having a relationship, will only make your future relationships better! Link to comment
markie6 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Markie never said hanging out with new people was bad... far from it.I disagree with Markie, I think it's ok to meet new people as friends and hang out. Dating should come after real healing Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yikes -- I can see jumping into something after a month or two....... but a WEEK?? Instead of focusing right away on another guy, why not take this time to develop interests within yourself? That's really the most important relationship you're going to have in life, the one you have That's just silly, there's nothing gender-specific about rebounding. Again, ask yourself why the rush to focus on someone else? Learning how to feel happy and complete on your own, independent of having a relationship, will only make your future relationships better! You're right, will think about that first before rushing into anything Link to comment
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