Bizw Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 I'll quick recap my story and then get to my situation and question. My girlfriend of five years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. She said she wants to be able to spend all her free time with her girlfriends and not have to worry about me. She had been going out to the bars with them 2-3 times a week and I was not to happy about her doing this, although I tried to keep my feelings to myself. Shes very outgoing and attractive and I worry what is happening at the bar. I know she needs friends and I wouldnt want to hold her back I just had hoped that her and her friends could do something other than get drunk at a bar everytime they get together. Anyway, We talked about just casually hanging out from now on and becoming friends and seeing were things go from there. Well, this hasnt worked even though it's only been about a week or so, she has been busy everynight and is busy next week as well, so obviously I'm not much of a priority for her. Either way I think the whole friend thing is just a recipe for more heartache. So I decided to face reality and I figured the easiest way is to cut off all contact. I have read about No contact on here and everyone seems to think it works well. I've tried this several times, each time she ends up calling me 15-30 times in one night and then I give in and answer. Each time the same result I get off the phone feeling much worse, basically shes trying to make herself feel like shes the one choosing to cut of contact. Last night she began calling my phone again, I was strong and then she called my house and my rooommate gave me the phone. She told me she still loved me and that she wishes she could come over and cuddle with me. I told her that shes too confused and I can't have my mind toyed with anymore. She called another 15 times or so that night and then started calling early today around 9:00am. I gave in and answered . She told me that she didnt want me to be gone forever, that what if in a month she wants me back and I'm gone. She said she wanted to come over tonight to see my new place and meet my roommates( I just moved), and then afterwards shes going to a party with her friend. I told her no way, that I'm not going to be there to fill in her time when shes not doing anything. She was crying and telling me that she still loved me and so on but she can't go back into this relationship right now. So my thoughts are that when shes alone she starts getting sad and as soon as shes with her friend again she can play me off. I can't put myself throught this. I'm not sure whats stronger her love for me or her friends but I think at this point it's her friends. I imagine at the party tonight she'll be doing her best to forget about me. What should I do just quit answering no matter how many times she calls, try and work things out or what. I really love this girl, I would do anything to get her back, but I can't hurt myself anymore. If I thought we could work through this I would do it. Do you think I'm just fooling myself and this is just part of her getting over me or do you think we could slowly get back together. I think I know the answer but I guess I want some reassurance. I would like to just cut off contact for a week or so and then have her over to my place and see what happens but I think as time goes by she will get over me. I don't want to be the one with feelings lingering. If you think no contact is the only way should I refuse to answer no matter how many times she calls? Quote Link to comment
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