Physically and emotionally starved

[Happybtconfuse]

I've been with my bf for 3 and a half yrs we have 2 kids together plus I have 1 from previous and he has 2 previously so yeah we're busy. But ever since we hit the 3 yr mark out relationship has been put on hold or something. We barely get intimate and when we do it's like twice a month. We never really talk about things, he doesn't ask for sex I always do. I have gained more weight than I wanted and I feel disgusting with myself. He says he doesn't care but I do , when I think about getting intimate it sounds like a good idea but then it comes down to ask for some I don't because of my esteem issue. I feel so disconnected from him , he goes to work I send the kids to school, I make him lunch then supper we watch tv I put the kids to bed then go to bed myself , he usually goes to sleep after I do. It's like we don't find time for ourselves ugh idk I just needed to let off some steam

[becomingkate]

It can be exhausting with work, the kids and the house and so many people fall into this trap.

 

Do you give him compliments? Like telling him how much you appreciate his hard work, and how handsome he is? Have you ever tried going on date nights? Have you ever surprised him with a little gift (say, his favourite cologne, or a new shirt) or made his favourite meal?

 

These things really help myself and my husband stay connected. We're also pretty affectionate - holding hands, hugging in the kitchen, etc.

 

We've talked a lot about the Five Love Languages (you can google it and take a quiz to see which you relate to and which your husband does) and I feel loved when he spends time with me and listens to what I say. He feels loved by me when I do little things for him or surprise him with little gifts (he says he's always touched that I think of him)

 

I think there's hope for you two - it just takes a little extra effort.