QuestionHeart Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I still talk to the ex every day. He just wants a friend and I probably still like him a little sometimes. BUT his friendship certainly is a bright spot in my otherwise lonely life and so I continue to let him talk to me....I dont know if I would be better off if we stopped talking, it would just mean Id be a lot lonelier and have no one to talk to. Of course I try to meet someone new but I havent had any luck....so....should I just stop answering his calls already or is it harmless to keep letting him use me as a phone chat buddy? I mean it literally is the difference between having someone to talk to and having no one to talk to....and again, yes I am always trying to find someone new but no luck yet...... So do I stop talking to him or keep talking to him? Link to comment
lancelot873 Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 well depends on who broke up with who. either way, feelings must be addressed. if you broke up with him and you know he still has feelings for you then it's not fair to him. if he broke up with you and you still have feelings for him, then it's not fair to you. if there are no feelings involved, then i don't see the problem. it's just in my case, she broke up and kept calling me two days after to see how i was doing and personally it was very painful for me to hear her talk to me knowing she broke up with me and said what she said. in my head i was thinking why are you calling me if you broke up with me? if you cared so much, you wouldn't break up with me. so it was just confusing for me, but now we don't talk. and it's hurting me as well. Link to comment
MonsterM Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 the choice is yours...if you feel lonely then keep talking Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 You'll have a harder time finding someone that you find interesting if you're still talking to the ex and keeping feelings going on. He broke up with you. Makes me ask the question why you'd want someone in your life that only wanted you there in a demoted position? Cut the string and get on with your life. Join one of the meet up sites that introduce you to both male and female singles where you can book activities together. I think you're better off alone then with someone you still want in a romantic sense. meetup. com or meetmarketadventures . com are two sites that might be good for you. Hopefully there is a group going in your neck of the woods. There's also coed sports teams like baseball or volleyball that you could look into to get you out there and meeting new friends so that you don't settle just because you're lonely. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 This has been going on for too long a time, imo.. I think it's time to face reality, and realize that if he wanted to reconcile, it would have happened by now. I'm sure it's not easy, but by allowing him to stay in contact, you're simply preventing yourself from moving forward. Link to comment
QuestionHeart Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 hard not talking to him but its also hard talking to him and always feeling not good enough.....but as i sit here, i wish he would call and i know that i just dont have the strength to ignore his ring, without his rings my phone would be silent....i know i need to meet new people.....i try...... Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Stop answering him. He keeps you mired in your state of lonliness. If you don't have his crumbs, then hopfully you'll be motivated enough to actually do somethings to meet new people. You're not being very good to yourself when you sit and wait for his ring like you are. Link to comment
QuestionHeart Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 i guess youre right but its so hard...i just keep hoping that he will get his brain out of his butt and realize what a catch I am. Its weird, its like I wanna stomp some sense into him. I just feel like we could be so happy and he is being dumb and he will regret it and then it will be too late.... Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 i guess youre right but its so hard...i just keep hoping that he will get his brain out of his butt and realize what a catch I am. Its weird, its like I wanna stomp some sense into him. I just feel like we could be so happy and he is being dumb and he will regret it and then it will be too late.... I can understand that, but how can he know what he's missing when you're always there for him? Why not take a stand and let him know that if he's not interested, you're moving on with your life? He'll either sink or swim, yet you'll have an answer. Link to comment
Dealbreaker Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I've been in the same situation, for a while even, years... and I'm finally at a place where I can let go of that. It was harder when I still had feelings for my ex because he didn't want the relationship but I was always thinking there was a chance. Now I'm the one that doesn't want anything and don't have the need to talk to him anymore and feel more open to see other people. I say continue talking to him if it's just for friendship, but otherwise... it's better to talk every other day or every few days. Link to comment
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