Urchin Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Please do inform me if there's already a topic similar with this. But I guess this is not just one problem... Hope you guys could help me with this. Hi all. I'd just like to ask (especially from a guy's point of view): What could checking another girl's facebook account mean when a guy is already dating someone? Well, I've been dating this guy who tells me he has two crushes. He explains that he “only admires their beauty and that's it. No plans of pursuing them.” He tries to tell and make me feel that me he loves me, tells me that I'm the only one he likes to kiss and hug, and I can feel he is sincere about that, and that he is waiting for me to "feel" him or his feelings. But is it normal to love someone and admire/crush on somebody else? He said to me that it's OK if I have crushes too and be open about it. And always says those girls are, "just” his crush. Recently I discovered that he visits their account regularly on fb... not me. I was really disappointed. Knowing he has crushes keeps me from falling for him, although I'd like to give it a shot. Should I? I'm also wondering...what if he's just afraid of pursuing them because they are too beautiful and popular? For him, talking about his crushes, admiring beauties, looking at sexy/beautiful women when he is with me are not a problem. I would have ignored and let those behaviors not affect me, but the time I found out that he searches for his other crushes regularly (even several times every day) and not me felt like a slap & really made me sad. What could this mean, and what should I do about it? I might sound shallow, but in a way it hurts. I'm not sure if I am being played. So, I feel doubtful and hesitant about responding to his sweet gestures and advances. Link to comment
gilmond Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Hey Urchin sounds like your guy is being kind of a douche. It's one thing to just look at a person it's human nature and yes every man no matter how good looking their gf might be will always look at another woman whether it be her boobs, her face, or her butt. The fact that he's telling you is his scape goat for it making it ok to do these things because he is telling you. He probably really does love you because I know I wouldn't just say that to someone and not mean it. Let him know that him constantly looking at these other women makes you feel uncomfortable but go about it in a nice way. If you say that in order for you to trust him you need like his pword for his fb account or something go ahead and do it if that makes you feel like he won't cheat on you. I personally would make it my job to make my girl feel beautiful and that she was the only girl who has my attention. Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Wow he's disgusting. He's guaging your jealousy and getting off on that. Get rid of him. Link to comment
indea08 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 If you're looking for permission to feel the way you feel, you have it. Some girls may not care about this kind of thing, but YOU are the one in the situation and if YOU are hurt by it then stand up for yourself. Maybe what he's doing isn't the worst thin ever, especially since he was honest about it...but for me, personally, I don't want to feel like I have to compete with other women. Therefore, I'd either state my feelings and give him the chance to accommodate or I'd walk. Life's too short to let anyone make you feel inadequate, even a little. You know what you expect in a relationship, so don't settle. Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Yea, he's an idiot. Leave him. Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 He shouldnt care about other girls if he is dating you. Its different if he just checks out a girl on the street as she is walking past, but he is constantly checking out the same girl on facebook, i agree with indea, don't settle! Know your standards and stick to them. Link to comment
JNapier24 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 When a guy likes a girl, not even at the loves her stage but really likes her, that's it. No interest in ANY other girl. As some people have posted above, catching him looking at a girl walking past or whatever is normal, we are only human after all, however, this guy sounds like he is secretly wishing he was with one of these other girls and not you. Therefore, give him an ultimatum, stop the persistent facebook stalking and concentrate more on making you feel special, like you deserve, or breaks things off. If he truly likes you or even loves you, he will do this without hesitation if he knows that you are uncomfortable with it and will walk Link to comment
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