Advice about job that has badly damaged self esteem - resign or complain?

[Minnie Mouse]

Hi everyone...I've realised in the last week that the job I've been in for four years has significantly damaged my self esteem, I realised this after I had a breakdown at work and cried there for one hour

I would never normally cry at work, it was unexpected but the whole day became too much...the hospital we work with was on red alert, my computer wouldn't print, it was difficult to fax, I couldn't send any emails out and my manager didn't help me once ( nobody took this problem with the printing, faxing and emailing into account ) though she could hear how worried I was, I had been bombarded with work because I've always been given more due to being agency staff rather than permanent

And in the middle of this bombardment a crisis happened in the hospital, a patient was sent home without care in place and my manager tried to blame me for the whole thing ( though it was another manager's fault ) wrote an aggressive email, took me into a room in front of my colleagues and yelled at me because I had said to the hospital, could they put the call through to the manager on duty instead of dealing with it myself, as I had some extremely urgent things to do

 

As well as yelling at me she took down notes in a red pen and threatened me saying this'll go to the head of service you know and I said well send it to them, as I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. She then told me off for telling somebody in another department that I was busy and saying that they don't need to know what's going on here. I said to her I felt like walking out at this point and she said, you do what you like!

 

On top of that this manager sits opposite me and glares at me every day whenever I say anything and she monitors my phone calls, listens to what I say and criticises what I've said, people are frequently rude in the office, I have a bullying colleague and I've just realised how toxic it all is and how it's eroded my self esteem over the last four years

 

For the last few weeks all my permanent colleagues have constantly been off and I need to stay as I am agency and don't get paid for my days off, so I've been doing all their work and covering for them all however this doesn't seem to be taken into account and agency workers ( there are two of us ) are still given more work than the others, the other agency worker was in hospital recently due to stress

 

Anyhow what next? A colleague has said I should go over my manager's head and complain to her boss about what happened and another friend has said I should sue

 

But I'm thinking it would be better to just hand my notice in and leave after asking for a good reference from the company...I'm not sure it would be the right thing to do to go and report anything, I think they may just fire me or make my life miserable and give me a bad reference, at first I felt like I had to fight a battle and win but in a way I'll be winning by resigning and moving on to something better...

 

Another thing is, I'm not sure I can even trust my colleagues, this friend who gave me the advice to complain has been quite nasty to me on occasions before and now another colleague has rung me up while I was off sick venting about everything, but I'm unsure really why she has rung me as it's never happened before

 

By the way I have been off sick after the incident for three days ( even though I won't be paid, being agency ) and my doctor has referred me for counselling. I have considered claiming for constructive dismissal when I hand my notice in but I am concerned I might get a bad reference for this

 

All I know is, I want to get out of this damaging job, I've been there four years so I'm sure I could get another job somewhere even for less money. There are seven workers and five managers at my work and the managers do nothing but just delegate work down to us all and in all the years I've been there though I've worked really hard and had compliments from people in other departments, my managers have given me virtually no praise but only criticism about the slightest thing

 

The good news is, in my time off I sent my CV to some places and I have already been invited to register with an employment agency who are interested in offering me some work that sounds much nicer though lower paid, working in a school

 

They will be restructuring in my job sometime this year and we would be allowed to apply for any new jobs that came up so I could hang in there for that reason but I'm not prepared anymore to be in situations that damage my self esteem - I think the company want me out because I have a degree so I could be a threat to them, two people there even once gave me details of another job in another company, so they must have wanted me out!

 

I don't know, should I complain or just resign and leave, can anyone offer advice, grateful thanks in advance as I don't have any idea what to do right now? X X

[El0t]

If you already have other possible jobs lined up, then I would definitely report what happened to you. Don't do it in a blaming manner, just make sure you have all of your facts (dates, times, specific details and exactly what was said) when your report the incidents. If you're afraid that the same thing might happen to future employees or current ones, then it is best to make sure that you report what has happened. I would definitely leave either way though. Best of luck!

[laninaperdida]

As someone who used to work in health care, I understand how stressful it can be.

There are so many employees with so many different skill sets & varying egos that it can be hard to get along with everyone.

What happened to you happened to me on sooo many occasions.

I was young, didn't take my job all that seriously, so this didn't bother me all that much @ 1st, but when I started to take it seriously I crumbled.

(I actually screamed @ my co workers because I had the patient asking me to do soemthing this way, the doctor another, the spouse another, the nutritionist another and the ****ing psyio therapist another.

All in the same day, lol.

I want you to realize that it's not a reflection of you as a worker or you as an employee.

There are simply so many people involved in a health care setting that someone taking something out on you could have been meant for someone who just left.

Try to keep your chin up.

As embarassing as it is to be scolded, I guarantee you no one will remember or care.

they're all worried about their own asses.

I think your problem is you're expecting too much from the people you work with.

A colleague isn't going to have your back.

THEY'RE going to throw you under the bus if it makes them look better.

Your boss has hundreds of people to worry about... She doesn't care about you.

Put twice as much effort into your work (not the politics) & I think that will balance out all the other areas.

GL

[Minnie Mouse]

Thank you both for your answers I do appreciate it but still struggling a bit with this question tbh ~ what will be the best thing for ME to do, resign without saying anything or try to stay and report it? I just think it'll be easier to resign and hand my notice in to them for the 1st May so I can save up some money, this job pays extremely well and that's the only good thing and why colleagues stay and put up with it and take off so many sick days

tkyjohnson, yes I could do that but the trouble is that they might give me a bad reference or set me up and bombard me even more if I do and right now, I'm just thinking about myself rather than saving any colleagues as I have had a lousy few years of being unhappy and me leaving would be the first step to happiness for myself

I don't trust my colleague who is trying to push me into seeing another boss over my manager's head to report it, I'm afraid to do that...I think my colleague just wants the manager to be demoted but at what cost to myself? She said it could save me and keep me in a job there, but I don't want to stay there right now for my self esteem and well being!

 

Hi Ianinaperdida, wow you paint such an accurate picture of the place, that's just how it is! However I have already been giving 200% to my work, the last few weeks I've been working so hard to get everything done I haven't stopped for a minute to even get out of my chair to get a drink, We've been downsized already to far less and those people are off sick all the time, it'd be literally impossible to put more effort into my work!

It doesn't matter about what colleagues think, I try to stay out of politics, gossip etc but that's literally impossible as well actually because all around me all my colleagues are moaning all day about the managers and their problems and you can't stay out of it, if you did you'd have to work non stop without a break all day without speaking to a soul and having your calls monitored which would be incredibly depressing

 

Nope, I've made my decision to leave, but what I really wanted to know is would it benefit me at all to report them or try to say I have a case for constructive dismissal etc so at least I could claim some benefits while I job hunt ;-)

 

Please help with this if you can

 

BTW LOL I have actually so wanted to scream like you did in there before, yes I didn't used to take it seriously either and it was when I was that I crumbled like you, and I don't trust these colleagues at all, wanting me to kick up this big fuss and if I go to my manager's boss she is part of the problem anyway, all the bosses are and apparently they were hired by the head of service as they are her " friends " so really what good could it do reporting anybody? I'm sure it'd just get me a crap reference X X

 

ps. thanks for the reassurance that it's not a reflection of me, I've been saying that to myself...I'm going to feel much better when I hand in my notice as then I won't feel as powerless and not in control anymore, I hope you have a better job now!

 

and tkyjohnson, thanks for your encouragement and very kind words as well ;-) M X

[lavenderdove]

I don't think there was anything at all in that description that is 'sue-worthy'... Frankly, lots of places have lots of pressure to perform and it does get wild and wooly sometimes when people are under a lot of stress and that causes friction.

 

but what is important is for you to decide whether a particular environment is right for you or not. Frequently jobs that are stressful DO pay more, and they know they are stressful so you are compensated for that. So it is fine for you to decide you'd prefer less money for a calmer environment, but it doesn't necessarily make that environment 'wrong' in general. there are many people who do like really fast paced and dramatic environments and get bored when things are calm and controlled. You've just discovered you're not like that and do want a more calm and controlled environment, so this is the wrong place for you.

 

Don't quit until you have a new job. And don't burn your bridges. If you are leaving, what is the point of complaining or filing a claim of some kind? Your goal isn't to 'punish' them for being stressed, your goal is to find a job that suits you. It is easier to find a job when you have a job, so start looking on Monday, and turn in your notice when you have a solid job in hand, but not until then. You can never be sure what kind of references they will give you if there is conflict, and if you do have a new job already in hand then you don't need anything at all from them anymore.

 

btw, one thing for you to understand about business. you say the managers 'don't do anything but delegate'. That is exactly what a manager's job is supposed to do, delegate. They are not supposed to 'do' they are supposed to delegate and manage the activities of those under them. There are good managers who are kind and nice while they are doing that, and other people who are not so nice, but they are not wrong not to 'do' because their job isn't to do, it is to manage others who do the work.

[blueidealist24]

Managers aren't supposed to do anything? They're just supposed to sit in their offices and send out orders, and in between, sit there twiddling their thumbs? I strongly disagree. At any place that I've worked at, managers were responsible for a lot of the work, as well as giving the orders to the lower employees. Maybe they didn't have to do as much grunt work/boring/menial tasks as the lower employees, but they were still responsible for a lot.

[Minnie Mouse]

Hi Lavenderdove, thank you for reply but there is nobody at my work who " thrives on the challenge ", everybody there is sick and stressed and miserable

Also the point is that there are five managers and seven staff and we are highly bombarded with work more and more with the cuts so the system is grossy unfair of managers just delegating and also managers get more time off than regular staff as well and this is noticeable

I agree with your plan though of just thinking of how this could benefit me and my situation as opposed to pointing a finger or doing something to " make myself feel better " or regain some lost pride, there's not much need to do that but to think of my next step

 

The nature of the place is though that it is competitive and soon there will be a restructuring and new jobs to apply for and it isn't inconceivable that my manager could try to " frame " me for this so I feel that to protect myself I ought to cover myself and reiterate the facts of the matter and what went on and have it documented

 

The other managers do not shout and glare at you, it is only this one and her behaviour was extremely unprofessional compared to the other managers in the organisation

 

Another option I have thought of is asking them not to renew my contract and getting myself laid off so that I can claim benefits and look for something else, they would not need to pay me voluntary severance as an agency member of staff and they do need to make reductions due to budget cuts so they might be open to this idea

 

I must say I agree with blueidealist24's view of managers more, as there are 7 workers and 5 managers in my job which leaves them with remarkably little to do and half of them do internet shopping online when they're meant to be working as they do nothing but delegate! You can't say that that's right, and they also delegate unfairly too

[laninaperdida]

Do NOT quit.

Not yet.

You need to stay on @ least 6 months & resign gracefully... if yo9u can.

I punched a girl in the face and quit and now I can't get a job in that industry again.

Obviously you won't be as drastic as I was (I was young lol & it was my first job & i handled it like an idiot) but those little staffing agencies and those little worlds are all conencted.

It's best to work throughw hat you have because it's not that bad.

I really regret quitting.

Like I said I can't work anywhere else now all because I was too sensitive with the office politics

STICK IT OUT

[blueidealist24]

Do NOT quit.

Not yet.

You need to stay on @ least 6 months & resign gracefully... if yo9u can.

I punched a girl in the face and quit and now I can't get a job in that industry again.

Obviously you won't be as drastic as I was (I was young lol & it was my first job & i handled it like an idiot) but those little staffing agencies and those little worlds are all conencted.

It's best to work throughw hat you have because it's not that bad.

I really regret quitting.

Like I said I can't work anywhere else now all because I was too sensitive with the office politics

STICK IT OUT

 

I see your point, but there's a difference between resigning and resigning because you punched a girl in the face.. the OP didn't do anything even close to that..

[HeatherB]

Schedule a meeting with your handler, or agent or manager or whatever you call it, at your Agency and complain to him or her. That's one of the benefits of working with a contracting agency. They have to handle problems like this for you. It's part of the service they provide in exchange for taking a commission.

[Minnie Mouse]

Thank you for all your replies, lanainaperdida, LOL!!! that's so funny that you punched a colleague in the face, I shouldn't laugh but we've all felt like doing that, just we never really do it...and I didn't quit the job

 

Thank you too for advising me HeatherB, but last time I said anything to my agent he didn't really want to know and wiped his hands clean, he wants me to stay because he gets a big chunk of the money methinks

 

I did something though and I feel better because I did something, my self esteem doesn't feel as wrecked

 

I wrote a long email detailing what had happened and sent it to my manager directly instead of going over her head, after following my intuition, and saying that I felt the reprimand was unfair and I was unfairly bombarded with work that day and didn't want it to ever happen again in the future...I stressed that the occurrence was pretty much out of the ordinary and it wasn't a pattern, she wasn't a happy bunny but she passed it higher up the chain for them to look at ( since other people were implicated ) so watch this space, I wonder what will happen now, but in my heart I know I've done the right thing for me...whatever happens ;-) X

[lavenderdove]

Good for you! At least you did what you felt was right! Taking control can indeed reduce your stress. Remember, it's just a job and when you do find a new one that makes you happy, you won't think twice about this one once you walk out the door!

[Minnie Mouse]

Hey thank you Lavenderdove for your kind words of encouragement and I know you are always very honest so I was pleased to see your reply, yes I'll be very happy when I find one that makes me happy and what I did was right for me and it made my self esteem rocket and that's the main thing, BTW they are treating me better ( at the moment ) which feels good too X