I can't stop worrying! Help!

[Nightmares]

My boyfriend and I took a break from each other. The break was only a few weeks, and we are no longer on a break. He told me that he didn't know what he wanted in life and from our relationship. We have been together for almost three years and I absolutely love him. I am so afraid that he is going to break off our relationship. My only problem is that I can't stop worrying that he is going to break our relationship off. When he tells me that he is tired, I worry that he has been up thinking and it scares me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him, and I want to stop worrying. I have been told by many people, including my boyfriend, that I am too paranoid and that I have no reason to be. Any advice? It would be greatly appreciated!!!

[lillady898]

If I can offer any advice, this is it:

 

Don't worry. Instead, be happy about the time you do have together. Otherwise, your worrying will cause a breakup. There is nothing attractive about worrying.

 

Trust me on this. My boyfriend and I have had some problems in our past. He broke up with me. I worried after that and nagged him day in and day out, asking if he'd do it again to me. He said no. I kept persisting. He broke up with me again.

 

We're together now, which is a blessing, but worrying can really put a strain on the relationship.

 

And besides, worrying isn't healthy for you. Just have fun because you only live once!

[belly_button22]

If I can offer any advice, this is it:

 

Don't worry. Instead, be happy about the time you do have together. Otherwise, your worrying will cause a breakup. There is nothing attractive about worrying.

 

Trust me on this. My boyfriend and I have had some problems in our past. He broke up with me. I worried after that and nagged him day in and day out, asking if he'd do it again to me. He said no. I kept persisting. He broke up with me again.

 

We're together now, which is a blessing, but worrying can really put a strain on the relationship.

 

And besides, worrying isn't healthy for you. Just have fun because you only live once!

 

i really cant give any better advice than lillady898 just dont worry and hope it will all work out.

good luck

[DBL]

Only the paranoid survive.

 

DBL

[lillady898]

Only the paranoid survive.

 

Maybe, but the paranoid are never happy. What's the point of surviving?

[RayKay]

Our thoughts have a tendency to manifest themselves - if we think negatively, negative things happen, if we have a positive outlook on life, we tend to be able to roll with the punches and come out on top.

 

It is definitely understandeable that you are feeling insecure about the relationship - that is one of the hard things about getting back together. However, he IS with you, correct?

 

Enjoy life day to day, don't worry so much for the what ifs, as nothing in life is guaranteed. Maybe you will be together with him for a long time, maybe you won't - but at this time you are both committed to the relationship as you are together, so just enjoy what you do have and try not to stress so much about it, as it will only cause anxiety in the relationship which COULD ultimately end it.

 

GOOD LUCK!

[evy38]

Constant worry=desperation=constant nagging and reassurance=breakup.

[OceanEyes]

Telling someone to just "be happy" is something that is much more easily said than done. It's impossible to just turn off a worrying mind.

 

I understand how you feel. There have been a couple of times in my relationship that I've worried about the outcome of an argument; would be end things, etc. It's a horrible way to feel, and it doesn't do you any good. Also, you know that bringing it up with him is only going to alienate him further and make things worse - for both of you!

 

It's difficult to give advice for this situation. Here's what I would do: spend as much time as possible with friends. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. Go partying, play sports, work out, try to interact and meet new people. Gripe to friends; if they are true friends, they will understand your situation and offer comfort. Sitting at home thinking about it will only isolate your paranoia and drive you crazy.