Don't know what to do...

[Duckie]

I've liked this guy at work for almost 6 months now and he's been up and down based on any signs he shows to me which have made me assume that he is interested in me and may like me. ie tickling, flirting, etc.

 

Very recently, he has completely stopped all of that and maybe once out of this new period of time has he talked and flirted with me again. He is making me very confused and I cannot tell whether or not he likes me and is being quiet, or he knows that I like him now which scares him and he doesn't want to lead me on so he's staying away.

 

Another tid bit - I found out he's been talking with his ex again and is really ready to settle down, find a girl and get married.

 

I don't know what to do or what to think...please help!

[Lily04]

It seems like he might have been interested once, but doesn't want to get involved. Maybe he wants to get back with his ex & so doesn't want to pursue anything with you. The fact that he stopped flirting with you sorta shows that. I would just be friendly, lay off the flirting with him, and become a bit more distant to show that you respect his wish not to get involved. You guys can have a casual, friendly work relationship if you wish, but restrict that to being only friends. There's nothing wrong with office friendships, although office romances, yes. And I would say that isn't even really a problem here..

 

Sorry if I'm being blunt but there's been only too many times when I've liked a guy and this happened. In all cases, it's becase he's already in a relationship or doesn't want to jeopardize his position to get involved.

[Iceman26]

I am going to give you the same advice I give everybody who gets involved with people at work.

 

Don't do it.

 

It sounds to me like he's just playing around with you. I think with as comfortable as he apparently is with touching you, if he were going to ask you out, he would have done it already.

 

If I were you, I would tell him to keep his damn hands to himself. Poking or tickling someone like that in the workplace is inappropriate, and to me it shows he probably doesn't take his job very seriously. I never touch anyone at work unless I am shaking someone's hand.

 

Best of luck

[Duckie]

Thanks for the advice. I do think that he is now realizing what he needs to do in the workplace since he is in somewhat of a mangerial position.

 

I hate to think about the fact that you are right about all of this because I don't want any of it to be true, but I do have to agree with you and everyone else I;ve talked to about it.

[Mun]

The best thing you can do is to be professional at work. He has already stopped flirting with you and is keeping his distance for whatever reason and you should do the same. The last thing you want to do is keep on trying to flirt while he gives you the cold shoulder.

 

Maybe he changed his mind. In any case, just be professional and respect his decision to back off.