Dee011 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 So, back in oct. he left me for another girl. We were NC for 2 months (he changed his number). Around the 2 month mark of NC he calls restricted, said he loved me and missed me blah blah. His gf found out he had called, so until last month we were NC again for 2 more months. Last month, on valentines day nonetheless, he started calling restricted once or twice a week. I picked up one day and he starts saying the same things again, he misses me, has had dreams of me "giving him another chance" and he asked me to not tell his gf that he's called. I just told him I have no reason to speak with his gf. After that call I started thinking about everything he's done to me, and how much I've hurt and cried these past 5 months. He calls again a week later, I didn't answer the first few times so he texts. The fourth call I picked up, and I was so upset. I told him there's no reason for us to be talking, that he had changed his number and I couldn't call him so he shouldn't be calling me. Not to mention he has a new gf. He said I was "being mean and hurt his feelings". Felt horrible afterwards, cried and broke down. Sent him a text "I'm not trying to be mean, I guess I'm just still so hurt." He texts the next day saying "I miss you what can I do for you to forgive me". So now he's started texting or calling every day or every other day, saying he wants to see me, misses me, etc. I told him maybe I could try to be his friend and we could talk sometimes or whatever. He texted today and I didn't answer. I feel like I'm being so stupid, I just miss him so much I don't know what to do. He's still with his gf and hasn't made it clear what he's wanting with me. Any advice, please? What would you do in this situation? Link to comment
lilypadgirl Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Let me get this straight: he has a gf and is calling/texting you daily proclaiming his love for you? In other words, he's cheating on his gf. The same one he left you for - I'm presuming that back then there was some overlap as well. To say he is a selfish jerk is an understatement. My advice: do not answer any more of his texts or calls. What are you hoping will happen? That he will come back to you? How can you ever be sure he won't be calling that other girl then proclaiming his love for her? Don't answer or respond to him anymore and continue your healing. There are better guys who will be devoted and faithful to you out there. You can't meet them if you're still entangled emotionally here. Link to comment
Dee011 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 Thanks lilypadgirl for taking time to reply. To answer your questions I'm not really sure what I'm hoping for. I know during the NC period I was always wondering if I ever crossed his mind or if I really meant anything to him. I also know I would be insane to take him back, he's not trustworthy at all. Maybe it's just an ego stroke for him to be calling and saying all these things? I'm not sure. I've thought about changing my number, as he did with me. I just feel so weak. Ugh. Link to comment
lilypadgirl Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 We all feel that way - wonder if we meant anything to them or if they miss us or think of us. That's completely natural. But if he genuinely cares for you and wants to be with you, he would break up with his current gf and take the time to rebuild with you. Right now, he's playing both fields most probably for a ego stroke. Do what you need to avoid him, even if that means changing your number. You're not weak - it just means you really did love and care about him. Hugs. Link to comment
Romanticism Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I personally would never be interested in someone who left me for another DURING our relationship. I know when you break up rebounds happen, and they suck. But they are rebounds, they usually fail. But if someone dumped me for another, it would make it really easy to move on honestly. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Sounds to me like he is looking for a little action on the side, and figures you will be an easy target for it. Link to comment
Monkey ai Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I will ask him why he always contacts you, you can tell him that is not fair to his GF. if he need help on something or he is changing his mind want to give you other try, then he can call you, otherwise, let him know you prefer to not contact so often, be direct... Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I will ask him why he always contacts you, you can tell him that is not fair to his GF. if he need help on something or he is changing his mind want to give you other try, then he can call you, otherwise, let him know you prefer to not contact so often, be direct... I'd go one step further and ask him who he had been contacting while he was with you. Link to comment
fabact Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I'm sorry you're goingi through this. This guy is so emotionally selfish, it's sick. You must be very in love with him, or miss him or something to put up with this behaviour, and I've done the same thing. If you even remotely want to give him a chance of being with you, the best thing for your sanity and self esteem that you can do is say 'don't contact me unless you're single'. that's it. As long as he's with his girlfriend you don't want to hear from him. I'm sorry to say thought that I'm not sure he'll have the cojones to break up with the other girl though... You deserve to be treated so much better. you'll know it when you see it. Link to comment
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