Is She Hoarding Money While Taking Mine?

[JayR]

I am fairly certain that my sister is lying about her financial situation. According to what she's told me this morning, she has pretty much said that in the course of the past 2.5 years, she's lost about $10,000.

Keep in mind that she has stayed employed all throughout this time, averaging about 35 hours a week and $9.50/hr. She is a single woman living on her own for most of that time. She shares a car with me that we own outright - no leasing. Throughout this time she has given me money and have given her money (and lately a lot).

 

Now consider my situation. I averaged about 20hrs a week of work at $7.75/hr. I live with and co-lease a car with my dad. He earns about as much as my sister. Sometimes, I spot him a few bucks too. I lost $4,000 at worst.

 

I don't want to just give away my money anymore. I'm losing about $200 a month now. The car I co-own with my sister is now in need of repairs that are increasing in severity and cost, so that means yet another "money pit and/or buy another lemon" situation for us pretty soon. My sister said she plans on moving out of town in August and I feel like until then, or later, she will more frequently ask for more money.

 

How do I get proof of her finances, if necessary? How do I tell her, and also my father, I am not going to give them every dime they "need"? How can I get myself out of this situation before getting stuck with the cost of yet another 15-20 year old vehicle, my sister's moving expenses and other random monies that my family "needs" from me?

[mhowe]

You say "no" -- I don't have the money to give you. Period.

 

If you continually "lend" them money, they will keep living beyond their paycheck and you will be the on the losing end of the stick.

[agent1607307371]

Again, you need to learn to say no and stop letting people mooch off you.

[rosasnyder811]

Exactly as mhowe says. Stop doing this. Why do you have two cars to begin with? Get rid of that lease situation and that will probably give you back the money you are losing.

[EssexMan]

Do you have a clear agreement with your dad for paying rent and a share of the household expenses?

 

If not, I would suggest you tell him how much you are able to contribute, and tell your sister how much (if anything) you can contribute to the shared car. Explain that you earn about half the amount they do, and these are your limits.

 

Though, if she's moving out of town, I can't see why you would want to continue sharing a car with her anyway, so maybe just tell her she can keep the existing one, and her future car arrangements are entirely her business.

[SpiritofFire]

You got to be honest about it man, be upfront about your financial situation and don't let anyone guilt trip you. I understand she is your sister, but that doesn't mean much when you'll be suffering in a process. Ask her what she needs money for. Remind her how much you make, how much you spend on bills, how much you trying to safe for a car. Work with her to understand exactly why she needs your money that you can hardly provide? She makes more than you do, but not by much, but still common if you feel like you can't no longer contribute to her cause, say so. Be frank, polite, understanding, but do not fall for guilt trip.

 

Image she is using your money on entertainment? How do you feel, while you are missing out. Who knows, what she is using your hard earn money for, maybe to pay her bills, or pay her loans, I don't know, but it's worth asking what the hell is she doing. Remember you are making minimum wage, you can't afford to just give AWAY your money. Ask where it's going. Now.

[blueidealist24]

I don't think you should give your sister money anymore. You work less hours and make less money than her. You need it more than her. I can understand giving a few bucks to your Dad since you live with him, but it sounds like he doesn't ask for as much as your sister.

[JayR]

Exactly as mhowe says. Stop doing this. Why do you have two cars to begin with? Get rid of that lease situation and that will probably give you back the money you are losing.

 

Actually, my dad pays for the car completely. He pretty much needs it for both of his jobs. One's out of town. But he could have gotten a car that was less per month, I'm sure. To me, it beats having a 15 year old car that needs gaskets removed (we're talking over $1000 worth of work possibly, and missed time for the work + the cost for license and registration cost when we first got the cheap car)