I think I have lost my soulmate for good? Any help? Please!

[LeeHeffernan]

This is my first post on this site so, I guess I'm part of the family now?

Well anyway here is a brief oversight of the story.

When I was in school, year 9 (14 years old) a lovely lady moved to my city then to my school then to my class ;D

I was young and never experienced love or anything like that but I swear it was love at first sight. I was very young then though but love can hit at any age tbh. Anyway, we ended up dating and breaking up about 4-5 times due to us being immature and it was a childish relationship which I'm not mad at now or anything but! Last year of school (16 years old) We got back together. This made me so happy because I always had feelings for her, I even dated other girls who fancied the crap out of me just to try and loose these feelings, I did at the start but eventually they came right back. I was with a girl called Melissah for about 3-4 months then my feelings came back, I explained to my Ex (Jade) that I still have feelings for her and I always have done, I ended it with Melissah then sure enough, 3-4 days later me and jade were together again this time it was much more then a petty immature relationship, I even took her virginity and it was just so perfect. Our relationship was that perfect that 1 year in,on my birthday I decided to propose. I loved her so much and she loved me so much to, she said yes btw we even made plans about the future and made jokes about how many kids we want etc... Typical couple stuff. All was going well till coming up 2 years into the relationship when we began to argue quite a lot, mostly due to stupid facebook (I hate it so much now ) but yeah we argued and at times my jealosy took over. I'm not ashamed because jealosy shows I still care but maybe I was a little to much at times. She ended things with me and thus sent my world into ash. I no her better then anyone, probably better then her own mother. We connected on so many levels, we liked what eachother liked she even attempted to play video games that I enjoyed (Yes! She is a keeper) but I just can't believe she'd end it all because of arguements and jealosy. I did all the wrong things: Begged, pleaded for a 2nd chance which I didn't get and still haven't got (been about 1 week 4 days since we broke up) and well things kindah' went weird after that. First off she removed me off facebook and then blocked me so I couldn't bother her about 'us' but luckily i'm good friends with her sister and she got her to unblock me, we started talking ish like old times, some jokes here and there but eventually it led to a disagreement and me ending up saying how she is my soulmate and soulmates always come back to eachother eventually and that this always happens, like in the past breaking up n' getting back etc... (I realize this is long so sorry ;/ ) but anyway, she blocked me after me asking for my stuff back which was the wrong thing to do and I regret that. But here's were the weird part comes in! Her sister wants me and her to get back together so she is helping me over facebook, jade (my ex) picked up on this and remembered my facebook password and signed on and began to joke through the chat that I had with her sister and it was a right laugh, she saw all the plans though xD but she actually unblocked eventually... and we are talking once again and it's similar to old times but if something comes close to 'Us' meeting or something she blanks me or changes subject or just plain somehow avoids it which is weird but understandable. She also got a little jealous that I added my ex back melissah. She broke up with me so why is she getting jealous over stuff and giving me mixed signs that there is hope then there isn't? It's really confusing and i'm just a wreck. One minute i'm fine and fixing myself (Working out, thinking about positive stuff like i CAN get her back etc) then the next i'm down and out, crying over pictures of her, listening to sad music and looking back on past memories and just thinking I've lost her for good. Please any help is needed but please don't tell me to No contact or Move on etc... Btw I'm going to a concert with my mate this month and I was going to invite her to come but is that a good idea? I'm really confused on this situation. Sorry this was a little long! Thank you for reading.

[superfan]

Let me get this straight: You are 16 and you were talking proposals and marriage?? You are WAY WAY WAY too young for that kind of thing and even if you genuinely felt this was a mature relationship, the fact that you are both so young says otherwise.

 

Take this for what it is: Your first love and your first loss. Accept that it is going to hurt and it will hurt a lot, but also know that you will get over it. You are young and you have a LOT of growing and learning to do.

 

You will get through this.

[SapphireNoir10]

Agreed with the above.

 

You have a whole life to live before you settle down. You are 16. Enjoy being young and living life.

 

Very few people marry their childhood sweethearts. The first loss is the worst to get over I think. It's hard. But you'll get there.

 

There will probably be more loves and break ups in your future but they all help to shape us into more awesome people

[LeeHeffernan]

Let me get this straight: You are 16 and you were talking proposals and marriage?? You are WAY WAY WAY too young for that kind of thing and even if you genuinely felt this was a mature relationship, the fact that you are both so young says otherwise.

 

Take this for what it is: Your first love and your first loss. Accept that it is going to hurt and it will hurt a lot, but also know that you will get over it. You are young and you have a LOT of growing and learning to do.

 

You will get through this.

Yes we both are young, she's 17 now and I'm 17 in July. But we met about 3-4 years ago coming up 5 years ago, and ever since we've always some how had feelings for each other. And I personally think she is my high school sweet heart. And only because I proposed doesn't mean we have to get married right away... And we only joked about how many kids we want in the 'FUTURE' not "O lets have a kid now". We wasn't that stupid. I do believe if something is good that you should fight for it no matter what. I've read on here and some other places about their high school sweethearts as well and they were in similar situations as myself and they eventually get back together ;/ I didn't really need advice on how my relationship was I just need help to understand this behavior of her etc.. But thanks for the reply.

[LeeHeffernan]

Thanks for the post ;/ wasn't quite what I was looking for but i'm still grateful nonetheless. I'm not going to give up, it's not over till it's over tbh. And I do think we can work, weather we are young or not. And my friends think the same, how I should go enjoy life since i'm young and go sleep with all these woman while'st I can etc... That isn't me. I would rather sit in doors and watch a movie with my misses not go out and sleep with tons of woman. I guess i'm just a quite type who just likes settling down, even at a young age.

[LonelyGirl10]

Thanks for the post ;/ wasn't quite what I was looking for but i'm still grateful nonetheless. I'm not going to give up, it's not over till it's over tbh. And I do think we can work, weather we are young or not. And my friends think the same, how I should go enjoy life since i'm young and go sleep with all these woman while'st I can etc... That isn't me. I would rather sit in doors and watch a movie with my misses not go out and sleep with tons of woman. I guess i'm just a quite type who just likes settling down, even at a young age.

 

Don't change that about yourself. It's a good quality in a man.

 

And age doesn't matter. If you love her, then it hurts no matter how old you are.

[SapphireNoir10]

No one said it doesn't hurt because he is young. I didn't advise going and sleeping around either.

 

I just said these are the years to enjoy getting an education, a career, enjoying the 'you time'

 

In reality we rarely end up with out first partner we start dating. I get that you love her and care for her and want to be with her. I also know how it feels to want to settle down. I've always wanted to get married eventually and I have never 'slept around' but I did have several relationships before the one I'm in now.

 

I think she just sounds unsure of what she wants. She probably still has feelings for you but isn't willing to get back together with you properly. She sounds like she doesn't want to be with you but doesn't want anyone else to have you at this moment.

 

If she wants to come back, she will, all you can do is wait and see.

[superfan]

Thanks for the post ;/ wasn't quite what I was looking for but i'm still grateful nonetheless. I'm not going to give up, it's not over till it's over tbh. And I do think we can work, weather we are young or not. And my friends think the same, how I should go enjoy life since i'm young and go sleep with all these woman while'st I can etc... That isn't me. I would rather sit in doors and watch a movie with my misses not go out and sleep with tons of woman. I guess i'm just a quite type who just likes settling down, even at a young age.

 

Not trying top diminish your feelings or imply you don't care for her because of your youth - merely trying to point out that at your age, your brains are physically still developing. You haven't yet matured into fully functioning adults and who you are as people is going to change DRASTICALLY in the next 5 years.

 

Her behaviour sounds like that of a typical 17 year old girl who doesn't know what she wants 100% (and that is OK). It is possible the talk of marriage and forever was something that scared her as did the possessiveness and jealousy.

 

When I was 17 I dated a guy who became VERY serious very quickly. He started using the "L" word and hinting at marriage. It was all far too much too fast. I had SO much I wanted to do - go to school, have a career and I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to be with HIM for the rest of my life. I dumped him pretty quickly after that. She might feel the same - too serious too quickly. It might be that she just wants to avoid being 17 for a while...being with someone since the age of 14 might have felt a bit stifling for her. SHe might feel like she hasn't had the time she needs to explore other romantic options. If you don't sample other ice cream flavours, how do you know which one is your favourite?

 

If she wants to be with you, she might come back. If she doesn't, it isn't the end of the world, you WILL get over it.

 

I promise you that if you don't win her back that you will look back on this years from now and laugh at how serious and how heartbreaking it all felt. You will be fine.

[LeeHeffernan]

Thanks for all your guys replies. I hope I didn't come off as rude in anyway. I just want to say some other stuff. We met when we was 14 and we were like best friends, obviously I had guy friends and she had girl friends but nothing was like me and her she understood me and I understood her and we could make a joke out of the stupidest things i'll give you an insight into one. When I was dating Melissah as I mentioned, we was going Alton Towers (It's a theme park) and I decided to invite Jade (my ex) since we were still really good friends even after all the break ups and arguments we've endured she agreed and Mel & Her slept over mine and left for the theme park the next day now here is my point, that night for some strange reason me and jade craved a pukka pie while'st mel didn't so we decided to cook and eat them etc... now I said Jade could have the bed and me and mel will sleep on the floor because yes I'm that type of guy xD. Anywho in the night i heard one of the forks moving and me and jade began laughing for like 1 - 2 hours about it was a ghost eating our left over pukka pies? Now mel wasn't even the slightest interested and i'm sure you guys aren't to but it's things like that that make us two unique. I just wanted to add that in there.

[LeeHeffernan]

And. Something else as well. It wasn't actually me that began the convo's about how many kids we'd want in the future etc... It was her... We watched one born every minute xD so it wasn't always me being to serious.