Boyfriend Won't Communicate When Angry/Sad. Other Annoyances. Should I Break Up?

[lisxyz]

Alright, here's my story.

Me and my bf have been together almost 4 months, but we spend LOTS of time together.

Now to start off, here's something that happened around a month ago. We were having lunch together. In the middle of lunch he got up and said he was leaving. I assumed he was joking, because we joke like that all the time. But he didn't come back, so after 30 mins I got up and found him sitting in a chair not that far away. I asked him what's wrong, but he wouldn't answer, so I went to class. He's in that class too, so he came and sat next to me. During the lecture I wrote on his paper "What's wrong? Why won't you look at me?" But he just crossed off the writing and ignored me. After class, we walked to the bus stop together but didn't talk.

 

I later got in a argument w/ him about this. It turns out he was just in a bad mood that day, but not because of me. So we agreed that if he was mad at something other than me, he would tell me, and THEN I would leave him alone. I didn't even say he had to tell me what was bothering him; he just had to tell me that SOMETHING was bothering him. Otherwise I would assume he was mad at me.

 

Fast forward to a couple weeks later. We're sitting inside the library, and I suggest we go outside b/c the weather was great. He doesn't want to, but I prod him a couple more times "Why don't you want to?" Apparently that set him off b/c he started ignoring me. I came over to his place later that day and got REALLY upset about it. But then he said that he ignored me b/c he was annoyed at me. So I apologized to him for being so annoying, and everything was ok.

 

This past Wednesday I came over to his place for dinner. I ordered wings, he was going to eat his own thing. We talked for a bit, then he started watching videos on the computer. I was on the bed, and I asked him to "come here" b/c I wanted to cuddle. He looked back at me, then turned around back to his computer. I said it again, but he did the same thing so I gave up. I went to sit with him in the chair, but he said "Go back and sit on the bed!" I thought that was rude so I said "I'm going outside!" But I had to come in after I got the wings. I sat down to eat in the living room but he didn't come sit w/ me. After a while he came over and said "If you're done eating, pack up and leave." I sat there for a while crying. Then his roommate came in, so I had to go back to my bf's room to cry. I asked my bf "What did I do wrong?" but he said "I don't want to talk about it." So I said "fine" and I left. We have not spoken since then.

 

Now, I admit I am not the perfect girlfriend. Recently my best friend hasn't been able to do anything with me, so I spend even more time w/ my bf. When he says I can't come over, I always have to have a reason; I have to ask "Why?" On Wednesday, before I came over (the same day we fought) I apologized, and said that I wouldn't do that any more.

 

But there's another subtle thing that's been bothering me. For a while we've joked around by calling each other bad names. For ex. I call him a "*****" even tho he's a guy, or he calls me a "fatass" even though I'm skinny. But now he does it ALL THE TIME!!! If I try to hug him, he jokes by saying "Get off of me!" and then he goes "awww" b/c he thinks my sad face is cute. I brought this up on Wednesday; I said "You know, I know you're joking, but your constant insulting is getting a little tiring." He said "Well you'll just have to deal with it." That majorly pissed me off, so after I left later that night, I sent him a text message saying I would not put up with it.

 

In the beginning everything was so great; we're each other's firsts. But now it's just so unpredictable. I don't doubt his interest in me, he's expressed it constantly throughout our relationship, and we do tell each other "I love you." I love him so much, I don't want to break up, but I'm afraid I can't deal with this. What do I do?

Thx for listening... and for advice...

[Ayanokōji]

I suggest you break up with this Drama King. Seriously if I were you I would of went N.C the moment he started ignoring me without giving me a reason.

[SudoMB]

In the beginning everything was so great; we're each other's firsts. But now it's just so unpredictable. I don't doubt his interest in me, he's expressed it constantly throughout our relationship, and we do tell each other "I love you." I love him so much, I don't want to break up, but I'm afraid I can't deal with this. What do I do?

Thx for listening... and for advice...

 

 

This may sound extremely jaded to some but...

 

 

If you were each others' firsts, its very likely he's wondering what the rest of the ocean has to offer. Read his actions, not just what comes out of his mouth.

[TalkThatTalk9]

what he is doing is a form of emotional and mental abuse. he ignores you til you are begging him to telll you he feeds off your begging. it puts the air in that gigantic head of his,

my ex would pull silent treatment when mad at me. we lived together and he would go a WEEK ignoring mt existence then one day just 'hey wanna get dinner???'

do you know what kind of damage that had done to me????

please don't waste anymore time on this jerk. it will get worse. I am trying to recover from 6 years of these stunts.

oh and most the time you have not done anything wrong. they just want to feel special kind of like when a 2 year old wants his mommmys attention... he will scream and cry til mommy begs him to stop.. yea thats your boyfriend

[jt1979]

He sounds childish and you should move forward.

[lisxyz]

Thanks ppl... I guess I'm probably going to end it...

[ThatwasThen]

No "proabably" about it. There is no love for you from this man.

[disneyfan]

Sounds like he isn't ready for a relationship. He's too selfish. Break it off. You'll be thankful you did.