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Feeling Stupid Post Date


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Apologies this is a little bit of a vent as I am stewing on one episode and what it might represent.


So I have been on lots of 'dates' since joining a dating website a little while ago. No one that I actually like enough to have a second meet with.


About me- 30, in a ski town with many men, most are younger & the older ones, like me don't go out as much, especially in high season. I am trying for residency which is connected to my job but at the same time I do not have a career that I can go back to. I did have a well paying job back in my home country. Its probably the thing I struggle the most with about myself and I have to keep telling myself to relax, people will like you for who you are, there is time to make a career path. I have studied so I am academic, it was just not in a subject that I could get a job out of.


Last Wed, I met up with someone that I had not messaged much(have deliberately cut down on msgs), but really liked their profile although they live a little way away) Even before meeting he was teasing me on the phone, for me this is attractive.


On the meet the tease style joking continued and we were so into our conversation that the waitress kept having to come back until we knuckled down and ordered our apres.

We talked about jobs and what we were interested in. He is an engineer and also studying. I told him about my residency and how it was tied to my work and that I would like to study later and am interested in science (as in human biology) he said that he thought I was more of a people person. Maybe I am, but working shops, restaurants and hotels I am pretty much done with dealing with people in that manner. We also discussed what we were looking for (Him only looking for long term) He told me I was beautiful.

As we left it was chilly and he used the half valid excuse of being cold to walk with his arm over me and commented on how well I fitted into his shoulder. I was cold too so didn't mind. He spoke of how and when he would be able to come up and if I ever was stuck and wanted to come down to the city I was welcome. I didn't think too much of it as it is a long way and I saw it as ideas in the air on how/when it would all work.


He dropped me off home before the long drive home, he works at 6am but from home. Realising it was still early I asked if he would like to come chill with myself and my housemates for a little more. We talked about whatever incld bikes (checked mine out) My housemate mentioned she just found out that our landlords were selling up (he said I could go live with him...more jokes of an inclusive nature) and I struggled to chose pick some music. He gave my leg a rub while we were talking, relaxing my nerves somewhat.


When he left he hugged me (complete with a back crack yaaaay!) and gave me a quick peck, I joked you cannot trust frenchies (qc). All through the date I consciously had to hold back and not rush as I wanted to figure out whether I was attracted to him enough to want to get to know him/pursue him.

The next day I apologised for being awkward (i meant the music thing and thanked him for the back crack) He said he was glad he could help and wished me happy valentines. I said you too.


Couple days later I sent a text saying 'thank god its my Friday, lst night I fell asleep sitting up with lights/computer on, people are exhausting. How is your weekend?' Now two days later and no reply.

I am definitely getting frustrated with dating and I am now feeling pretty stupid for reading things so so wrong, I am usually pretty good at reading people. I hope I do not have any more dates like this.

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Sorry to hear this. Sounds like you had a wonderful time with this guy, good chemistry and talk about future plans. Maybe he's caught up in something at the moment and has momentarily put you to the side. Have some faith and try occupy yourself with other activities (easier said than done, I know), you might hear from him before too long.

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Well he got back to me a day from a week later. Not by text though (my initial mode of comm), but through his online account. Said he was in NY this week for work, and what days do I have off? I replied, but will not be expecting a reply any time soon based on the previous week.

Does not matter how old the guy is, they are still confusing.

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