MonsterM Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Hello,I've been reading alot of posts from this forum,but still need a resolution.I initiated NC since last week.We separated with a big argument on 1st of february and on 3rd of february she posted some pictures with another guy on facebook.He changed his relationship status on 4th of february.The thing is it may well be a setup,or just the rebound.We have been dating for 1 year.and she knows this guy for 2 weeks only.Tomorrow Im going to see her sister to get some stuff I had at her place.The thing is should I tell her sister I know about the new "boyfriend",or just wait for the appropriate time after a few months.My mouth is quite big(me and my ex are both lawyers),but Im thinking the right thing to do is just wave this one and act as if I know nothing.Although attempts have been made to let me know she is dating another guy.This guy is a complete opposite of me,and Im pretty sure things will end within a month or so.Me and my ex were deeply in love,and our relationship was complete on intellectual level as well on sexual.Im pretty sure she cant have a word with this guy,who is also a criminal.The thing is I HATE to wait...and I need some advice,guys...should I tell her sister I know about the new "boyfriend" and wish her all good and cover for a month or so...or just keep pretending I know nothing.I really want to marry this woman,but we cannot talk right now,as she is suffering alot,although she broke the relationship.One thing is for sure-she loves me...but she expects me to crawl back for her and beg,which very well happened in her last relationship before me,which was 4 years ...I have a strategy initiating the NC rule for a month or so...so she will begin to miss me,and all the good things we shared together.The new "boyfriend" is 22 and she is 26...It's a sure rebound...but should I tell her sister I know about this,or take my time improving myself and keeping my mouth shut???Thank you Link to comment
Vinny85 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I am wondering what you think you would 'gain' from telling her sister you know about the relationship? Or, the other way around, would 'lose' by not doing so. In my opinion, just let it be. If you do nothing, you can do nothing wrong. Link to comment
MonsterM Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 that's the thing I needed to hear...just wave it...she will break him up after a month if not earlier...he is awful and doing drugs...the thing is I hate to wait I think I will have to do my best to begin to love to wait Link to comment
Vinny85 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Well it doesn't matter if you hate it or love it. You will just HAVE to wait *edit* But that said, dont 'actively' wait for it ofcourse. Just continue doing your own things. Even though you think it will not last a month, it just might. It has no use to put your own life on pause. You will want to be yourself and confident again in the event of her dumping the rebound and getting back in touch with you. Link to comment
MonsterM Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yes,I read alot of articles about it...anyway I have to study I have a prosecutor exam at the end of March...and CPE.I eat healthy again and doint some exercises.Of course Im going to bump in her again...I WILL wait...thank you for the motivational speech Link to comment
MonsterM Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Other thing is...I dont care if she is having sex with the whole city...it's not important who is between your legs...it's about who is in your mind...and we used to have great great sexual relationship...that is why I dont thing Im going out of her mind any time soon.The thing is I just dont know how long to wait before contacting her...she has too much of a pride to contact me...but when she starts missing me...I never know...she wants to see a change in me...keeping my mouth shut and acting maturely...she wont stop loving me any time soon...she is just dissappointed.We were supposed to talk a week ago...but she was at her job till late...so I said Ok maybe some other time.We havent heard each other since.And she didnt do anything for St Valentines day I didnt send her flowers or something stupid as this...yesterday we were supposed to have 1 year of relationship.I didnt do anything either.Im in NC and I think that's the best.What do you think? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Your relationship wasn't that great if you separated after an argument. What was the issue? Link to comment
MonsterM Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 The issue was I have a big mouth...she works for the state...and she told me how much stealing is going on in the government agency she works on...and I was telling almost everyone what is going on...she told me not to do it...and when one of her colleagues found out she is dating me...she just said we cant hold on together anymore...but it's not only this.Her friends dont like me...because I tell things straight in the face...and her friends are losers...I think they were also jealous because she was so happy with me she didnt go out with them anymore...it was only me 5 days out of 7 in the week...I really changed after that happened.Im more subtle than ever and I watch my mouth and Im very polite with people.The thing is she needs to see it too...but I went NC,because everything I do or say will turn out against me...so I gently told her we will talk when she's ready to Link to comment
MonsterM Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 And still...I told alot of people I know about that new guy...Im so stupid...anybody could tell her...I hope not because they are my friends Link to comment
ChewyC Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Personally, I'm a nosy bugger, and I'd probably try to find out for sure, but maybe that's just me. Link to comment
daddids Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 No point in learning more information about her private life or even worse letting her or her sister know about it. Either you like it or not you guys broke up, since it was her decision there is nothing you can do to change it, what you can do in the meantime is look back at your relationship, see what you did wrong and try to fix it,not in order to get your ex back but to improve yourself so that you wont treat the next girl you will be with the same way. If she ever wants to contact you, she will, either directly or indirectly but she will. Dont want to be harsh on you but how can you be dead sure that her rebound wont last for a month? I have a girl friend who comes from a nice,rich family, she her self is really beautiful,works,is educated and has a relationship with a guy who is a lot uglier than her,smokes weed and loses money on poker 3-4 times a week and works once in a full moon. They are together for a bit more than 6 years. You are doing the same mistake i was doing mate, you are over thinking.Just let things take their own way and see how it goes. Link to comment
ChewyC Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 daddids and I obv have different views regarding finding out info, but I wanna add to his point. He says "how can you know they won't last?" He's right, you can't know. But in all honesty, you can't KNOW that she's actually seeing this guy. So don't jump any guns or anything in case you've interpreted the situation completely wrong. Link to comment
ConservativeM Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I do not think you should wait for something to happen between them. You like her and she likes you. You are interested in long term relationship and you wish she should be your partner. If you love her and you find her as a potential partner than nothing is wrong in going out of way and do something to save your relationship. If you do not act now, thing may become too complex and it may require more effort to put back on track. I advise you to initiate from your part and short out the issue for sake of someone you love. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.