zprometheusz Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Dear all, I am in need of some serious advise here from a women. I am currently dating a cute girl, whom for some reason likes me. Everything is great except that she scream pain every time we have sex. I tried to be as gentle as possible but apparently the pain was minimize ONLY if I insert at a certain angle, with a certain speed at a certain position. Here's some background information. 1. she is/was a virgin 2. we tried to had sex 6 times so far and she said it hurt every time. 3. By the 5th time I manage to put it all the way in but she told me it hurts for a couple of days afterwards. 4. Her pain tolerances is a little low, she did scream her loudest every time she got her blood drawn. 5. We did foreplay every time for about 10-15 minutes. The problem now is that I am starting to get frustrated since I cannot finish every time. I got turned off because she would be really tense and tried to move away from me and it made me feel like she didn't want me to continued. It's also very hard for me to do all the work when her muscle gets tense and resist me the entire time. Mind you even with all of that she still manage to cum also every time, can't say the same thing for me. Also she gets turned on pretty quickly whenever I touch her. But I am at a point where I don't want to have sex with her anymore and I am not turned on by her anymore. My question for you ladies is how many times did you guys have sex until it stopped to hurt? Is there anything I can do to help her with the pain? Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 i would go with much more foreplay, some men think a little is enough and once the woman is wet she is arroused and ready, doesn't work that way, especially if she was a virgin, take more time, spend more time on working your way in there, by using one finger, then two, get her more relaxed, now she is scared of the pain so she is tensed to start with, so a little foreplay won't erase that, she knows what is coming, you need to relax her more, make her so ready that she begs you to put it in...... Link to comment
paradisa Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Gradually progressing with putting fingers in is definitely a good start as Sara said above ^. I would also encourage you to try girl on top position where she can have control of putting you inside of her at her own pace. Also lubricant - have you tried that? Are you guys able to communicate regarding this problem? Sounds like that may not be happening either. Definitely work on having conversation with her as well. Link to comment
WockaWocka Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 t's also very hard for me to do all the work when her muscle gets tense and resist me the entire time. She knows she is supposed to consciously relax, right? Otherwise it will be very painful. Overall, though, it doesn't sound like a lot of good communication is happening between the two of you. I think you need to talk things over more. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 She knows she is supposed to consciously relax, right? Otherwise it will be very painful. Overall, though, it doesn't sound like a lot of good communication is happening between the two of you. I think you need to talk things over more. if you are scared of the pain and then indeed feel pain it is hard to consciously relax no matter how much you would like to... more communication indeed but also much more foreplay, getting her more relaxed and aroused.... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I don't think she's ready to be having sex. Back off and let her do the leading. Her expecting that you should know exactly what to do, how she feels, and all this is silly IMO. I'm not an expert on this, but I do know sex was never like this for me. Soreness is normal, screaming and bleeding? I don't know. I think she should see a doctor and wait to have sex until she is ready. Then she won't be afraid to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, and take the lead on what works for her and what doesn't. Since it's you posting....I'd say abstain from trying to make this work. Let her get to know her own body. Let her realize that sex isn't a passive 'sport', it's something that takes two people who are both fully engaged in it. No wonder so many girls have bad first sexual experiences! They force and cajole their bodies into doing something it isn't ready for! It shouldn't be this difficult and need this much preening ....seriously. Link to comment
Joleen Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I think you need to take a break from tying to have sex for a while. Focus on foreplay, fingering her, etc. Get her so worked up and relaxed that she's asking you for it. I also agree that she needs to see a doctor to make sure everything is ok down there. Link to comment
jordygirl28 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 It does sound like she has a very low pain tolerance. However it took a long time for it to stop hurting for me as well, it didn't stop hurting until way after the fifth time, and it took even longer until I actually started to feel pleasure out of it. I'd say just be patient, it will stop hurting for her eventually, in the mean time just as others have said, increase the foreplay time and try not to get too frustrated Link to comment
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