Is he shy, unsure, or just playing with my head..

[ukdame]

Hi all,

 

I recently (3 mo's ago) moved to a new town for a job promotion, and I don't know anyone except for some nice work acquaintances. In mid December I was invited to a work party at a local bar and had a lot of fun and also sat next to a cute guy from my work. We really hit it off, even though he had literally just broken up with someone (he told me as such), but we were drinking and ended up going back to his place where I spent the night (we didn't actually have sex).

 

Since then a few things have happened that leave me confused as to whether or not he actually likes me, but isn't quite ready for a relationship, or if he is playing with my head. Also, keep in mind that I travel often for work and so sometimes actually seeing each other is sporadic.

 

After the hook up in December, he texted me flirty messages a bit back and forth, then we went for two weeks without really talking. eventually he asked if I was around and invited me to dinner. We went to a place within walking distance from my place, and things ended up working out the same as the party in December.

 

After that I got a little worried, because I didn't want to just be a friends with benefits, and he had started sending me more texts inviting me over and such. I asked him if he was looking to actually date or just "hang out", and he explained to me that he had just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to take the time to actually fall in love with someone, but that he really did like me and hopes I would want to still spend time with him and in a few months "who knows", and that he would control himself if I still wanted to see him. At first I was kind of upset and didn't react that well, but then I apologized and thanked him for being honest.

 

Since then, we've had a few weird interactions. The day after our clarifying text convo, he saw me in the hall and I kind of gave him the cold shoulder. He started pursing me a lot more until things got back to normal, nice terms. He will occasionally text me every day and hint about hanging out, but then nothing really happens. He invited me to lunch one day and we had a nice time. He even texted me around midnight that day to tell me he was still thinking of something funny I'd said. I initiated a conversation over email the other week, and he said he'd be up for dinners and drinks, but I didn't know if he meant that day (I just said "ok, cool".)He actually came to my office later that day and may have been waiting for me to say something about it, but I didn't, and it didn't happen. Last friday, he texted me late at night, and we started talking about a movie I mentioned I hadn't seen, so he said we should have a movie marathon and that he'd check the movie place near his house the next day but then I didn't hear from him for three days. So, on Monday I told him I had his shirt in my office and that I could bring it to him or if he wanted to get it - I let him know where it was, to which he said "haha, just bring it over" (his desk, or his house??)

 

Finally, on Friday, I just walked it in a bag over to his desk and surprised him. He laughed and got up to walk away so I smiled and did the same. Then he texted me to say thanks and that he wanted to give me a quick hug before I bolted away. Also, he's in an entirely different floor of the office of me, but I feel like he sometimes goes out of the way to walk past my office really slowly.

 

Augh! if you've been kind enough to read this mess I thank you. My feeling is that he wants me to give him attention and/or sex, but never wanted any more than a booty call.. But then part of me thinks, he just doesn't know if I like him or not, especially since I overreacted about him not being ready.

 

Should I just play it cool and not chase him? Everytime he doesn't regularly text I assume he's totally lost interest or is just playing games.

 

Thanks.

[HeartGoesOn]

My feeling is that he wants me to give him attention and/or sex, but never wanted any more than a booty call..

 

I would date others, and not wait around for him. As to what he wants, the one way to find out is avoid having sex until it's clear where you stand.

[ukdame]

That would be great if anyone else were asking me out. I've been told I'm really pretty, but I'm shy so I'm not out meeting tons of people. Also, I travel a lot for work. Thanks though. It's just hard not to feel like I've missed the last train out of singlehood or messed it up.