I am stressed. I need your input.

[Siriana]

Hi everyone. It's been a while.

 

Currently my hip hurts due to stress. It is completely psychosomatic, nothing is physically wrong with me. Trust me it can happen. My body decided to give up on the migraines since they last for up to 3 days only, and decided it would be much more effective to piss me off with hip pain when I'm under a lot of stress. It's an annoying pain, which sometimes causes me to limp and can last just for a few days or for up to a month and a half. It is not debilitating as much as a migraine, so I can function, albeit in pain. But I guess it is very convenient pain because it shifts my attention from the troubles that really bother me, to this stupid annoying pain which makes me anxious, upset, frustrated and mildly depressed.

 

I started meditating, I swim, I take painkillers (which work somewhat, but I cannot take them for too long - maximum of 10 days - now it's been like 9) and it's still there.

 

I cannot find a way to rationalise all the things that bother me. It's very difficult to rationalise each and every one. I believe it could all be summed up as do not worry about it - it is a minor thing in the grand scheme of your life. Do not worry about uncertainty - as long as you work hard everything will fall in its place. But it is not working! All the things I find stressful seem waaay to big and I lost perspective.

 

So things that happened starting from march last year:

 

- CEO of the company I worked for died (who was also my cousin) and company bankrupted. They owe me 5 salaries which I will never see. I am unemployed currently.

 

- I decided to continue my education and to go for a second masters degree. I have a master's degree in International trade, and now I am pursuing a master's degree in translation. It is a one year degree that I should earn by the end of this year. Right now it's the peak of the exam season. It doesn't help with the stress. This Saturday I have a Croatian language exam. It's my first language, and yet my only hope is to barely pass.

 

- I applied for a job at the EU's administration in Brussels . It is a lengthy process with several phases and it can last up to a year. I recently found out that I managed to pass the first stage (340 of us passed it, out of 4000 people). It was difficult. And I really worked hard to be able to achieve the required threshold. The second round of tests, that comprises of a Case Study and a Croatian language exam, is scheduled for March. Now when I'm much closer to my goal, the pressure I put onto myself is huge. This is once in a lifetime chance - Croatia is entering EU and they have to employ Croats to satisfy the nationality quota. It is a competition opened only for Croats, so chances to really get hired by the EU are much higher. I'm horrified about that March exam. I really want want that well paid job which would raise the quality of my life.

 

- I'm unemployed. The good thing is that my boyfriend works and that I can collect unemployment benefits by the end of April (when the third round of my EU selection process is scheduled). I also have savings. My plan is to start searching for a new job at the beginning of April. I realised I cannot juggle masters degree classes and exams with EU exams and a brand new job position at once. How I realised that?

I got a job in January as a maternity leave replacement. It was only for a period of one year with 3 months probation period (that would collide with my uni exams and EU exams). I realised it would involve unpaid overtime (I stressed during the interview that I cannot work overtime) and a lot of travelling (they gave me an impression that travelling arrangements are reasonable - they weren't) while the salary they offered was miserable considering they wanted to hire a person with experience in accounting. So I quit the very first day, before my contract was signed in order not to lose the unemployment benefits. I do not doubt my decision to quit that job, yet I feel guilty for not being a superwoman able to hold a badly paid, ambitious job together with attending master's degree classes and passing all of the masters degree exams together with passing a very demanding EU's selection process. It makes me upset I cannot do it all at once. I know some people could do it and I'm not one of them. So i'm angry with myself.

 

Any suggestions?

[Ayanokōji]

Getting more degrees is not the answer, using you work experience to find jobs is the answer.

[Siriana]

I need that degree. It's been something I wanted to do since I was 25, but couldn't afford it. It definitely helped me get that job in January (with unemployment rate being 20%) because I was the only one who had such an education combination. It upgrades my resume. I plan to make a shift from accounting to more general positions and it makes me stand out between tons of economists. It secures me an invitation to the interviews in international companies and organisations. I have 6 years of accounting experience. I worked. And did a lot of studying in the meantime - I started my masters studies while still employed.

[Ayanokōji]

All I can say from experience is, the people who got into the higher positions don't have any advanced degrees. With that being said, if you proved yourself to be an asset in a company, they will provide you the money to further part time study so you get paid to study.

 

But since you mentioned " It's been something I wanted to do since I was 25, but couldn't afford it" then theres nothing else to be said but go for it since its what you wanted to do.

[Siriana]

Do you have a suggestion how to de stress?

[LikeWater]

Do you have a suggestion how to de stress?

 

Some people might really disagree with this suggestion, but I'm being serious.

 

Do you live in a place where you can get medicinal cannabis? It will help with your stress, it will help with the pain, it'll make food taste better, it'll make crappy movies watchable, etc.

 

If you do live in a place where this is possible, do some research on it and all the benefits it provides. There are a lot of people with problems like yours who couldn't find anything that helps until they started smoking medicinal cannabis. It is definitely something to look into.

 

That said, if that's not a possibility for you for whatever reason, try getting into meditation. There are a lot benefits that come with this as well, and you can find a lot of audio tracks that help you slip into deep meditation. It can do wonders for stress.

 

Aside from those two things, try finding a place where you can truly relax. Maybe drink a couple glasses of wine and listen to some relaxing music.

 

Also, do you have anyplace nearby where you can get a full-body massage?

 

That's all I have for now as far as suggestions go. I hope you find something that works for you.

[Siriana]

I started meditating. Long time ago I finished a TM course and i have my own mantra. I've been meditating again for the past two days hopefully it will help.

Medical cannabis is not something they allow in my country. To be honest I would be scared to try it. I never tried it before. But I am taking valerian pills. They help.

Oh, I love massages. Had them last year. Unfortunately they cause acne brake outs. Such a shame. They help a lot.

YOu gave some good advice.

[Ayanokōji]

I De Stress by hitting the Gym and going full out then collapsing in bed. Most of the time at work I can't find the time to be stressed, problem comes and requires solutions instantly like your brain switches to emergency mode and you really don't have any time to think/feel anything else besides the problem in front of you.

[LikeWater]

Medical cannabis is not something they allow in my country. To be honest I would be scared to try it. I never tried it before.

 

Would you be scared to take a pain pill? It's not allowed in your country, so this is a moot point, but it's sad to me that they've managed to make so many people frightened of the most harmless 'drug' in the world, yet people will pop benzos and opiates all day.

 

It's good that you started mediating again I believe if you allow it, that will truly help. Do you have a 'haven' you can go to? Just some place where nobody will bother you, maybe an area with a very peaceful atmosphere and whatnot? Finding a place like this where you can just truly relax and do whatever (perhaps listen to music, perhaps read a book, etc.) would really help as well.

[Siriana]

@like water I am afraid I might like it little too much. I have no problem with it being illegal lol

[Siriana]

@ termus

That's a good idea too. I started doing chalean extreme programme at home recently. It is not overly difficult, but it helps me stay fit. I cannot do it now due to pain. But I will contnue doing it after the pain ceases.

Have you ever tried swimming in a swimming pool? It also relaxes (doesn't build muscle like the gym but still... it's a good addition)