Heartbroken... I wish there was a way to start again...

[keep45]

Have you ever dreamt of your dream girl? What a stupid question... I have, many times.. Thinking about it and imagining how she would look like, act and so on...

 

A little more than a year back, I've met someone on the internet. She lives on the other side of the world, but we've started to like each other through time, and I told her that. She was my best friend and as stupid as it sounds, I finally realized that she's the girl of my dreams, the one that I didn't think could possibly exist. I have a terrible crush on her and she admitted that she has a crush on me, on the last day of our conversation.

 

But for some reason, she said that it feels 'superficial'. I think it's my fault, because I was taking things too fast... I don't know. And now... She's gone. For ever. I'm never going to talk to her again. Never going to really meet her in person, as I've dreamt, or still dream...

 

It hurts so much and my life has suddenly become so very painfully empty. I don't have much to look forward to anymore... It would be much easier if she had said that she hated me... But no, I'll have to live with the fact that she has a crush on me...

 

I don't even know why I've written this...

[sonjam]

Yet another internet victim....

Oh dear, where do I start.

 

Dear keep45,

You have to remember that people fall in love over the internet with a dream of the perfect partner. If you have never met her in real life, felt the physical connection, spoke to her in your own voice, how can you possible love her? What you did fall in love with was the IDEA of her. You have lost nothing more than just a dream. I know it is harsh words, but you will see the wisdom in them soon, as I had to.

 

Yes, way back when when I first discovered the internet, I fell, HARD.

 

I was heart broken, just as you are now, but you know what, meeting somoene and falling in love, in real life is so much much more exiting! You will heal, you just have to realise it is a foolish dream your heart is broken over.

 

Who knows if she really was who se said she was? There is great big con artists out there, and they play with your emotions, the minute you want to meet them, they loose interest/disappear/fight or something, and go find another victim to play.

[peculiargirl]

I totally agree with you, Sonjam. I realized I fell in love with my perception of who my boyfriend was on the net, not with the man himself. But you know, breaking up still hurts just as much.

[sonjam]

That's the sad part, even if it was just a dream you fell in love with, you still have all the heartache and pain. It doesn't just disappear with the realisation of what happened.

 

Keep45, I hope your heart feels better soon! We are here if you want to vent, my friend.

[Double J]

keep,

 

I'm sorry for what you're going through. In a way, she is right - it is superficial in the sense that you haven't even been with each other in person. Have you even seen each other's pictures? Maybe you have no idea if you're attracted to one another, and even if you are, you'd have to find out if there's chemistry in person. So far, you fell for her on the grounds of "idealization."

 

My advice to you is that if you want to explore your options over the net, meet girls that live in your area. That way you talk to them a few times online and over the phone, and then you arrange a meeting in a public place. Meeting people that live so far away is a major investment of your time and money - you might never even meet that person.

[keep45]

Hi all again. First of all, let me say I'm very sorry for not replying earlier. Thanks for your comments, especially you sonjam.

 

Let me say that I've never had any intentions of dating through the net. It just happened! And THAT'S why it got me. Nobody else could make me so happy over the net...

 

And yes, we've seen each other's pictures.

 

I've sent many e-mails but got no replies and no contact whatsoever... I just hope she'll reconsider and come back... Oh yeah, and I still feel like crap, after almost a month...

[Pyralis]

Hi Keep45,

 

I know how it feels, man. My Cyber-relationship of 3 months ended out-of-the-blue as well, but in time your broken heart will mend. When I met her I wasn't looking for a relationship either, it just happened, and when it ended I was devastated. But now I can look back, not in sadness, but with a smile on my face and in my heart, remembering all of the late nights we spent talking to each other and how very special we made each other feel. I have come a long way in getting over the initial pain of our parting. Don't get me wrong, I still love her and she will always have a very special place in my heart, but I have come to accept that what we had is gone. There are times that I wish I could turn back time and even knowing how it will turn out I'd still do it all over again if I could, but unfortunately the past is the past. Don't worry; you'll get over it, man. If I can do it, I know you can too.

[dreamweaverdude]

Yes... getting over it is difficult. I am about to have to end a relationship because I have fallen in love with someone that isn't everything they have made themselves out to be. I have met them in person but too many unkowns and secrets, things hidden, that makes me thinks everything is not above board.

 

But as someone earlier in the thread wrote.. the pain of ending it IS STILL REAL. You feel like someone has taken a part of you away, and yes if youare like me, you look back on the 'good times' and you want them back.

 

Me and this woman used to chat never everyday, we'd play music to each other over the interest for hours on end, and even talked on th phone for hours on hours.. those days are gone and i know it. I sit here hurting just thinking about it. How can we become so attached to someone we dont know enough about.... easy

 

We all want to be loved and love the attention. ANd willing to look the other way or accept certain things that in person we might not be willing to accept.

 

Good Luck.. I DO FEEL YOUR PAIN.