ANYC Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Invited this girl along to watch live music with a buddy and a group of other people in a week. We're going to sneak off and probably end up with each other for most of the night, when i invited her she told me she was really low on money and probably could'nt afford to do it!, she was pretty gutted because its actually going to be alot of fun and she wanted to hang out with me! I offered to pay the entrance fee and money for petrol because im not the one driving, ofcourse she is polite and found it uncomfortable accepting it initially but when i told her im paying it because i wanted her to come she was fine with it. I've deliberately been saving a small cash pile before hand and will probably have a decent amount of money in my back pocket to enjoy myself I want to treat the people driving us up to something whether it be a round of drinks or simple things like a coffee just to say thanks because i literally have no idea who they are, but i also want to be able to treat her a little aswell I don't want to come off to strong and potentially imply she can't buy things for herself or im trying to flash the cash because its honestly not my intention i just want her to have a great night with me! Does anybody know of ways i could do things like this without making her feel bad? All i want to do is offer her the occasional drink and maybe treat her to lunch/food if we stop somewhere on the way back, but if i word it weirdly and she refuses it could become an awkward situation. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 It sounds like you did just fine. I think the way to go going forward is to find cheaper or free dates to go on and mix in the more expensive things that you pay for so that she doesn't start to feel like she's taking advantage of you (even though she is not, it may feel that way if you pay for everything all the time). Link to comment
EssexMan Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Yes. And let her pay for stuff sometimes, even if you pay for more. Link to comment
OceanWave01 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I would say things like "if you pay for the enterance fee I will pay for supper" if the enterance fee is cheap. Let her pay the small things without showing her what you really spent (like the supper bill) unless she asks Link to comment
becomingkate Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I want to treat the people driving us up to something whether it be a round of drinks or simple things like a coffee just to say thanks because i literally have no idea who they are, but i also want to be able to treat her a little aswell I think that this is a really thoughtful idea. Not only can you treat your buddy and his friends to a drink/coffee to say thanks, she can easily be included when you pay the tab. If she she mentions feeling guilty about it, just say how nice it was to have her along. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 If she told you she doesn't have the money, and she goes, she's not offended. lol. And she won't be. Your ideas are good. Link to comment
ANYC Posted February 10, 2013 Author Share Posted February 10, 2013 Thanks guys To clarify she has nothing... nada... zilch! payday is close so its just the end of the month situation I think she said something about scraping some money together (probably from a friend or family) because she really wanted to go (before i offered to pay for her to get in) so she might get something together and i could accept a drink or something to balance out the gesture I just don't want to come accross like im taking pity on her or thats how i try impress girls... , even if nothing comes of the relationship and we stay friends then atleast she will have a blast and it will be alot of fun! Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Thanks guys To clarify she has nothing... nada... zilch! payday is close so its just the end of the month situation I think she said something about scraping some money together (probably from a friend or family) because she really wanted to go (before i offered to pay for her to get in) so she might get something together and i could accept a drink or something to balance out the gesture I just don't want to come accross like im taking pity on her or thats how i try impress girls... , even if nothing comes of the relationship and we stay friends then atleast she will have a blast and it will be alot of fun! Keep that kind and genuine mindset and it will come accross to her that way. Enjoy! Link to comment
EssexMan Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Thanks guys To clarify she has nothing... nada... zilch! payday is close so its just the end of the month situation I think she said something about scraping some money together (probably from a friend or family) because she really wanted to go (before i offered to pay for her to get in) so she might get something together and i could accept a drink or something to balance out the gesture I just don't want to come accross like im taking pity on her or thats how i try impress girls... I'm sure it won't if you're nice about it, and if necessary make some self-deprecating joke about how broke you can be near your payday too! Link to comment
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