hopeless loveless relationship but we stay

[keeptrying]

the end of my dying relationship is really near, and we can both feel it..we planned our lifes together, and now its all falling apart. we've fought every week for the 4 years we've been living together and its becoming more and more clear it will never change, not because we don't want it to but because we cant agree, we just cannot agree on what causes all the problems in our relationship. i say hes mean, he says im mean. he says i start the fights and i say he does. i hate the circles we've been doing for SO long, im only 21, ive spent almost my entire adolescent life with him and instead of our years together bringing us closer they've pushed us further apart. The thought of being alone, the thought of waking up every morning without him makes me want to die. It really hurts to think how bitter and lifeless our relationship has become, i want to believe so badly it can all go back to how it used to be, when i was 15 and he was 20 and we were both so certain we were going to spend the rest of our lifes together. To accept we will soon live separate lifes and oneday be mere strangers to one another is absolutely heartbreaking. it makes my throat go dry and my heart pound to think of spending my life with someone else. I would do anything in the world, absolutely anything to not say i know its going to end, but it will. Every day we say we should break up and then we just dont, we just muddle along because neither one of us has the courage to accept we dont belong together. The empty threats of breaking up will soon be over and one day one of us really will leave, until then we hold onto the little bit of love we have left..

[moongeek]

Seems like you're in a really sucky situation, and the worst thing is you know yourself what's going to happen. The best thing for you to do is let go, what you're feeling is normal; the fear of letting go of something that has been a source of normalcy and this pattern of stability in your life that you have created with him is comforting for you, and the fear of the unknown- as you stated waking up alone etc is scary for you. Its completely normal for you to feel like this and feel all these emotions, its a big life change. But what I can tell you is that the situation you're in is not healthy, its making you both unhappy. Don't let the fear of a future/unknown without him stop you from living your life to the fullest and with happiness. You're 21, get out this rut and live your life.

Good luck!

[LoveSoDeep]

You were both young when you met...and you're still young. People change a lot between 18 and say about 26 sometimes people grow together through those changes but I think more often than not they grow apart. I know it feel hopeless and like you'll never find love again...but you will and hopefully with someone you don't fight with every week for 4 years. It will beh ard there's no doubt about that but it seems clear to me that even you know it is time to move on.

[m8check]

You are still young. Life has so much more offer. Understand that the people we met when we were young are sometimes not meant to stay with us forever. It would be better for you to move on than suffer in that difficult situation.